Ex problems...again

Yay! Drew is coming over today!!! I have been awake since 5 am unable to sleep due to my excitement. How sad it is that I am getting excited about someone coming over for the day when we probably won’t say anything to each other for the majority of the day and will just lie there cuddling. I love his company though it has to be said. I feel so safe and secure when I am in his arms and I hate to say it, but I could easily fall asleep in his embrace! Which is a good thing as it shows how safe I feel and that I can be 100 percent relaxed around him!
This morning Richard phoned and left a voice mail to say that he could come over and pick it up if I wanted him to. This was not ideal as Drew was just about to step in through the front door (quite literally) and mum was still adamant that her and my dad would take it over to him and have a word with Dale. So I called the minister back and explained that mum and dad would be dropping it round to Dale and we wouldn’t need to involve him, next thing I know he is offering to come and see me as a friend and a minister to see how I was doing, so I had to make my excuses as to why he couldn’t visit today! I felt terrible as I hadn’t seen him for quite a few weeks and could do with a friend from the past to talk to.
Drew was just walking up the stairs whilst I was on the phone to Richard and knew that he had to stay quiet. When the phone call was over I sat on the end of my bed, he walked in and he said how cute I look when I’m sleepy. I instantly argued this point and took a quick glimpse in the mirror, Oh my God! Was he taking the piss?! I looked as though I had been dragged through a hedge backwards! I was not as amused by my appearance as he was and attempted to tame my wild hair with my fingers but to no avail and soon gave up trying.
We laid on my bed chatting and joking around, I was still pinning my hopes on mum going into town later in the day so that we could have a little more intimate fun. Drew was trying to wind me up about this by saying how she would end up changing her mind and leaving it later and later in the day before leaving. I was trying to remain positive and kept repeating “She will be going out, just not yet that’s all!” It was just then that I noticed it starting to rain, not very promising when mother was due to go and stand at the bus stop before going shopping, my heart plummeted and I finally decided to find out when she was to leave.
I walked over to mum’s office and stood chatting to her briefly about Dale and the mornings antics. I had gone to talk to her with a mission...to find out when she would be going out! She explained to me that he had text her saying that I was a heroine and cocaine addict, which thankfully she didn’t believe. If she knew about my past it would crush her. We managed to laugh off the accusation and I hoped that my nervousness and panic didn’t show, I soon dropped into conversation that mum was supposed to be going out and I asked her what time she intended on leaving as a bus was due in five minutes. She didn’t look too suspicious and just said that she was going to make some sandwiches and then would go to the bus stop beside our house.
I retreated back to my room where Drew was laid waiting for me. I told him about Dale’s latest accusations about me and that my mum appeared to be upset but I didn’t think that she had believed it. He soon put my mind at ease and made me forget the ordeal by rubbing my clit. He made me feel so horny so fast, I thought I was going to explode! He had to stop when he heard my mum walking up the stairs to deliver us some sandwiches! He only ever seems to move quickly when he hears my mum near the door, but it provides some good amusement for me all the same!
Whilst we ate, we chatted and giggled like a pair of naughty teenagers. Neither of us could wait until mum had left the house as it would mean we could do what ever we pleased and make plenty of noise and not worry about my poor mothers opinion of me! When we heard the front door close behind her, we both sighed with relief and his hand soon got to work as we cuddled on the bed. He was pushing and rubbing so fast and deep I could feel all of my nerves come to life, within seconds I was sopping wet. He made me come each time he bent his finger up and brushed against my g-spot.
Soon enough we were both stripping off and flinging our clothes across the room, both equally hungry for each others comfort. He was already hard and ripped open the condom wrapper with his teeth and through it to one side whilst slipping the latex over the tip of his member, he rolled it down the long fat shaft and laid behind me. He started to rub my clit again so that he could prolong his stiffy and soon shuffled nearer to me. I felt him slip in and he started to pump into me. I pushed back against him with as much as force as I could physically muster enjoying the feeling of having a big strong man inside of me again. I had been waiting for this for so long and could feel myself relaxing and melting into his body.
Following our “moment” together, we lay cuddling and finishing off the Doritos mum had left in my room for us. Before I knew it he had to leave. He was due to pick up his mum and her friends at 4 pm and it was already twenty past! I understood and sat up in the bed giving him my naughtiest look as he walked away from my room lingering for that extra minute. When I heard the door click shut I breathed out and picked up my phone writing out a text message as fast as I could saying “Thank you, that was amazing! xxx”
I spoke with mum later on her return from town, regarding her conversations with Dale from that morning. She had tried to speak to him on the phone to say that it wasn’t convenient to deliver the car seat this weekend and he would have to wait for it. As per usual the conversation soon developed into an argument, I don’t know what he was saying as I could only hear part of mum’s side of the conversation, these are the only bits that I remember.
Mum: It’s not convenient for us to get the car seat to you this weekend, also the kid is too big for this one, he only needs a booster seat now. You have been asked twice by the solicitor to stop contacting Kelly as it upsets her.
Following this comment he said “It’s because she’s got a new boyfriend!”
Mum: Don’t be stupid, she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She left you because of your drug taking, why can’t you just realise that?
After mum said boyfriend, Dale had hung up, which was typical of him as he never seems to like hearing the truth especially when it involves him. They then played text tennis for a while
Mum: “No she hasn’t, You’re not to keep ringing because it upsets her”
Dale: “She does have a boyfriend its on Face Book and she has been seeing him before she left.”
Mum: “Just because she has male friends doesn’t mean they are boyfriends. Do not judge my daughter by your own standards.”
Dale: “It says she has a new boyfriend and I’ve been told by friends it’s true she has lied to you my standards are alot higher that skellys ever were she even had sex with her boss the second time she met him”
Mum: “You are completely deluded. Kelly left you because of your drug taking. Take some responsibility for your own faults.”
Dale: “And what about her heroin and cocaine addiction. Thats why she never had money”
Mum: “I have two words for you and the second one is off”
Dale: “The truth hurts doesn’t it.”
I could have happily throttled him after reading these messages. Mum was unaware that I had taken drugs in the past and especially did not know that I had a brief heroin addiction. I had never gotten into any financial difficulties because of drugs. The cocaine part was completely made up, I had only ever tried it once and hated every minute of it. Thankfully mum didn’t believe this accusation, it was the one thing I had ever lied to my mum about and I felt terrible for doing it, however I was doing it to protect her, it would destroy her if she knew what I used to do, even though it was over and finished with years ago.

Pornographic Friendship? Not gonna work!

I am absolutely gutted! Mum has now informed me that she is no longer going to Exeter tomorrow. She also added “That hasn’t ruined any of your plans has it?”
“Nope, don’t worry about it” was my response. “Of course it bloody has! I wanted a good shagging, do you know how long it’s been?! I can’t take much more!!!” Is what I should have said, but I didn’t think that would go down too well! She would probably never leave Drew and I alone in a room again!
I made a start on Richard Hammond’s book today so that I could get one out of the way, plus I know that mum will want to read this one! I must say, it appears to be a good read and I couldn’t put it down!
Later, I text Drew to make him aware of the changes to tomorrows schedule and his response was “You’ll have to keep your moaning down then!” I was so looking forward to finally being able to scream out as well! He then suggested having sex bent over the (very creaky and old) bed, I think (hope) he was joking - what with my leg!
At about 9 pm Tim started to text yet again. He was doing his usual thing and going on about being lonely and desperately trying to flatter me (he knows compliments are my weakness!) and to win me back. I had to tell him that I don’t believe long distance works and that we would have to stay as friends. Next thing I know, he is demanding a picture and quite happily sending me one of his fat knob. I don’t think he quite understands how to be friends with a female without the need to shag!
I sent him one picture back of my dripping pussy and said to him that was all he would be getting (ever) and that we had to remain as friends not partners. He ended it by saying “OK, change baby to sweetie. Night buddy.” When will he ever give up?!

Boxing Day with a very Spoilt child

I woke at 4 am, got back to sleep at 7:30 am and my alarm went off at 8:30 am! Bloody insomnia!!! So after only 2 hours sleep I grudgingly emerged from my pit to wake mother from her slumber, for today we are due at my uncles for about 10:30 am. I only realised as we were getting ready, the reason Uncle Steven wanted us over so early was because we are usually late for any gatherings!
We arrived to see Nan and Grandad sat on the floor playing games with Thomas, my 2 year old cousin (and an only child, very spoilt!). We all sat helping him play a game where butterflies fly up and out of an elephants truck and you had to catch them in nets, although he only seemed interested in watching them fly up and fall down!
At lunchtime we (the guests) were all shocked at the lack of discipline they were giving to Thomas. First of all he couldn’t decide which seat he wanted and was swapping for about 10 minutes whilst Uncle Steven looked on. Even whilst we were all eatting, he was more interested in trying to sit on his mum’s lap or get down to have a little run around, but the worst part about it the meal was when Thomas decided to chew all of his food up and spit it out onto the floor. His parents simply went and got a tissue to clear it up, no stern words said, no hands across bottoms, no nothing!
Crikey, if he was my son, I would have very sternly told him off, lectured him about good manners when you have guests and made him apologise to everyone present. And not only that but he would also be sat in a high chair! That way, you can still involve the child with the rest of the group and stop him from running about and trying to escape, well almost anyway!
Following lunch, we all exchanged gifts. My Nan gave me a a book, a DVD game and a purse, these were all taken from my online Christmas list. I was rather disappointed to see that the purse was actually red! I was sure, when making the list online, that it was pink! My uncle also got me a book, it’s a good job I am off work for the next few months as my reading pile has now grown dramatically!

Christmas Day Affairs Revolution

Drew came over at half nine to exchange gifts with each other, I didn’t tell him that I had barely slept and could have done with a couple of hours extra sleeping! He got me a lilac scarf (although I only ever wear pink), pink super soft gloves, a bumper book of Sudoku, Desperate Housewives (DVD set), a mint chocolate orange (as I am allergic to orange), “Jiggleballs” - Ann Summers version of love balls/eggs and a Sex Bible. He also gave my mum a box of chocolates which was very sweet as neither of us had expected him to have bought her anything and mum hadn’t gotten him anything. Thinking about it we should have offered him some cake.
I got him a travelling Honey pot (fake vagina designed to look like a torch), Build your own Lamborghini and the Revolver (another of Ann Summer’s explicit male sex toys). Drew only stayed for an hour before having to rush off to his family gathering.
All round a good visit!
Mum got me a game for the Play station and the DVD of Hairspray. My brother (or rather his girlfriend) had bought me perfume despite never exchanging gifts. Mum and I watched Hairspray later whilst eatting roast duck for lunch in mum’s room and spent most of the day playing the Sims Castaway and getting the courage to try out my balls!
Lou text me tonight, implying that he wants to continue the affair, he obviously didn’t pay any attention to Eastenders tonight as Max and Stacey’s affair was revealed resulting in loss of family, blood and extended. I have now decided that next time he can be bothered to come over I shall allow him to do the 45 minute drive, look absolutely stunning, but not allow him to have me! It will be hard (especially him!) but I am strong enough, mainly because he has pissed me off so much but hey! He’s had plenty of chances but now he’s lost me, he even knows that I am beginning to get emotionally involved with Drew, his best mate, so it’s tough luck on Lou’s part.
Just after the barrage of filthy messages from Lou, Jen text me to thank me for their presents and to say that the kids loved them. Again I felt that now familiar pang of guilt.
I ended up texting Drew to say I was glad I saw him today, and that all I really wanted for Christmas was him. I was trying to drop him a hint of how I felt for him without saying those three words. I. Love. You.

Christmas Eve

I have finally gotten home from what can only be described as a very bizarre night out! My brother Lucas picked me up at half nine to take me to the pub, however he had to go around town delivering some Christmas cards first. I was happy to go with him as it was getting me out of my bedroom and we had a lot to catch up with. It was pretty normal except for the fact that he didn’t want to be seen by any of his recipients, and let me just say he would make both a terrible spy and burglar! It all got pretty amusing after he realised that he had delivered one card to the wrong address and had to race back home to get another card for her!
When we had finally finished the deliveries and he was satisfied that his driving had really scarred me for life, we headed to one of my local pubs. We got some very odd looks when we only ordered soft drinks, bearing in mind that it was very late on Christmas Eve! It also must have looked very strange with us two being out so late, neither of us have an exactly aging appearance, it must have looked like two kids in their mid teens who had escaped the family home for a Christmas drink!
I have now decided I am definitely not going to continue the feeble affair between myself and Lou. I had found out that despite him declaring his undying love for me and asking if he could live with me (at mums house) once he had left Jennie just after Christmas, that he had bought Jen concert tickets for next summer! Very strange, I think that if I was to continue with the relationship and make a go of things with him then he would end up cheating on me and get back with Jennie. I can’t go through that and I certainly will not continue to put Jennie through it.
New years resolution - Stop attracting/flirting/encouraging married men, no matter how attractive or nice they are nor how much they offer me! - Especially friends husbands!!!Christ

I may actually have a social life this week! My brother text me earlier today to let me know that he would be spending Christmas back in Yeovil and did I want to meet up? Of course I wasn’t going to turn down his offer, anything to escape these four walls! So it was decided, tomorrow night he would take me out to a local pub, should be interesting as neither of us have anything in common except for being bisexual!
On Christmas day mum and I are staying home to chill out for the day, as we do every other day of the year! Drew will be popping over for a short while to exchange gifts.
Boxing day will be spent with my mum’s parents over at my uncles house which will be very interesting as none of us have anything in common either! All of that side of my family are very posh and both myself and my mum struggle to find anything to talk about with them. It will be a long day!
I emailed Sarah from the Yeovil store this morning in desperation of an escape plan and she called me in the evening to discuss further. She has decided to leave her young daughter with her sister for the night and will take me to a pub just around the corner from my house. Should be fun as neither of us would be drinking! Sarah loves to play “pub sports” otherwise known as pool and darts and asked me if I would be able to shoot some pool. I figured I should be able to hop around the table and maybe even use my crutches as the pool cue! Also it meant that I would have an excuse for being completely useless at the game!
Sarah asked me how my recovery was going and I excitedly told her of today’s adventure, I had managed to hobble around the small block! She found this highly amusing - Bitch! Perhaps I should break her leg and see how she finds the long and tedious recovery?!

Drew came over this morning for a couple of hours. He really cheered me up in more ways than one! I had informed him yesterday of the fact that today was “World Orgasm Day” and surprisingly he hadn’t forgotten and was determined to let me get in on the action! Unfortunately mum was at home, so we couldn’t exactly “get jiggy with it”, however we improvised, or rather he did! His hand managed to creep down to my already wet pussy and teased my clit. I wanted to scream as his fingers twitched inside me, but had to suffice with biting down on his shoulder, I had to leave my mark somehow! We leapt apart when we heard something near the door, we both thought that my mother was going to come bursting through the door at any moment, however was somehow glad that it was the cat who broke in and pushed the door wide open! I rapidly covered up and that was obviously the end of our fun for the time being.
After Drew had left my best friend, Leah, phoned me for a chat and to see how my recovery was going. We hadn’t spoken for a couple of weeks, so both had plenty to talk about to fill in the gaps! She mentioned at the end of the call that it was Callum’s 40th birthday soon. She is completely oblivious to mine and Callum’s near history and is also unaware that he fancies me. Following our conversation I decided to text Cal to wish him a happy birthday and to wind him up about the milestone! He then phoned me. We just chatted about my break up from Dale and Leah’s brothers approaching wedding and baby (neither of us can quite believe it!). He also mentioned how he had missed talking to me as he had deleted my number to avoid temptation and to evade the risk of Dale finding any messages. We agreed that we could text each other, however must not allow it to get too frisky as it used to.
Later my phone rang again (my, I was popular today!) and when I saw the name my heart plummeted, along with my stomach. Dale. I took a deep breath and did the usual, pressed silent. I waited for what seemed a lifetime before the message came through and listened feeling rather sick.
“I need the child (car) seat. You have a week to deliver it to me otherwise I will have no choice but to report it to the police as stolen.”
I felt terrified as I knew he was friends with several local policemen. But how ridiculous! The car seat he is referring to is a crappy polystyrene block that loosely resembles a child’s car seat, it is not even the right size for the kid! I imagine it would probably be worth no more than a couple of quid and that the police would simply laugh him out of the station, but it’s just the thought of having police coming knocking on my door to arrest me! I am not the sort of girl who would ever get arrested!!!
I phoned up Rich, our minister, to inform him of the phone call which he laughed about and said that he was still very much delirious about the whole situation. Richard told me how him and Dale weren’t exactly on friendly terms at present and it would appear that Dale has also now fallen out with the couple from upstairs. He went on to explain that he had been out bowling with the church and the couple in question were at the alley and didn’t seem too keen on discussing Dale, not in a friendly manner anyway. Rich ended the call saying that he would try to find someone to come over and collect the kids car seat.
Later in the evening my work phone beeped at me saying I had a message, I half expected it to be Drew as he usually texts me on this number, however it was Tim. What is it about this time of the year that brings exes out of the wood work?! This was the third ex to contact me today!
Tim - “Hey how are you? x”
Me - “I’m ok thanks, and you? x”
Tim - “Yeah I’m cool. Howz love life and stuff? x”
Me - “All ok. Going out on a date in a min. But I wil be taking things slow this time! My leg is still in the cage for another two and a half months. And you? x”
Tim - “Still alone x see should have stayed with me x”
Me - “Yes but it would have been difficult getting together especially with me not driving at the mo. I saw that my ex-husband contacted you. Has he hassled you since? x”
Tim - “No lol”
Me - “Good! Thanks for saying what you did. x”
Tim - “That’s ok.”
Soon after that tennis match of messages, Drew arrived to take me out to the cinema. We went to see the new Disney film, Enchanted, I didn’t think that he would be into that sort of film, but he seemed to enjoy it. Either that or he made out he did to impress me! Whilst we were in the cinema he had his hand on my leg slowly stroking me when I stretched my leg out. As I did this there was an almighty “Twang” noise and he jumped a mile! I had never seen his hand move away so fast (not even when we thought mum was going to walk in!). I was creased up with laughter as I tried to explain (quietly) that my skirt had caught on the cage, but that I was fine and didn’t feel it. It took a while for me to stop laughing, I seem to have a slight problem whereas if I start laughing at something, I generally don’t stop!
When we got home Drew came in and we sat in the lounge having a drink and chatting. Mum came downstairs to greet us and asked if I wanted anything to eat. All I said was “Not at the moment, but I might have a nibble on something in a while.” She obviously took this the wrong way and rushed back upstairs saying that she would leave us to it! It’s no wonder I have a filthy mind!!!
Drew said that he was going over to Jennie and Lou’s house tomorrow, so I made the most of the opportunity and asked him to play Santa and deliver their gifts for me. He was fine with that and left with a box full of Christmas presents.
I have now fathomed out my wages cock-up. A couple of months ago before my second operation, my regional manager had authorised me to go back to work for three weeks part time, however so that I could get paid, they had to reduce my contracted hours. It would appear that they have not raised my hours back to full time meaning that I am very much out of pocket. In order to get this corrected I have to ring the HR guy and payroll. Bloody typical that it has happened at this time of year, when Head Office shuts down for just over a week! Bah Humbug!!!
Much later, in the small hours of morning, Drew began texting me and we had text sex which cheered me up. Pity that mum was only in the next room, I couldn’t go all out with it!

Another Phone Call from the ex

I have unfortunately had anther phone call from Dale today. As per my usual procedure, I let the voicemail answer the call and soon listened to the message. This time apparently “Jonathon is wanting his car-seat back, as you know the other one got burnt along with my car.”
I text Barry asking him if he could come over and collect it for me and didn’t hear back.

Much later on...

I am furious! I emailed Drew the letter I had written him in the middle of the night as a nice gesture to make him feel a bit better as he was having a bad day. He ended up trying to argue because I had called him lovely and sweet and had complimented him throughout. I had half expected this reaction and soon gave up trying to convince him, I knew the truth... He was lovely and very sweet no matter what he says!
I mentioned to him in one email that I may go out for a hobble up to the local post box and he tried to crack a joke, “Don’t fall down any manholes!” I instantly replied with a line of question marks, I wanted to see if he would know that he had done wrong and if he was able to pick out where he had gone wrong. I then swapped the crisps I had been munching for a fag.
I cannot stand it when people make skinny jokes aimed at me. Especially by people I hold close to my heart. Thankfully he emailed me pretty quick to apologise and it was for the right reason too thank God! I apologised back to him as well for being so snappy about it and went on to explain my severe sense of humour failure. I had been battling with weight problems all my life and when I went into hospital earlier in the year I came out with an eatting disorder.
We soon forgave each other and all was well again. By the way, I still haven’t heard from Paul at Sugar Daddy, doubt I ever will either to be honest!

A Quick Run-down of Past Relationships

Jim - When I was 13 I thought I was really grown up for having a boyfriend. I soon finished it with him when an innocent game of Monopoly nearly turned into a rape. The rumours soon got around my high school that he had raped me, when this was not the case. He just took things too far for me.
Brad - Again a high school romance. I think I was 15 at the time and starting to want a slightly physical relationship (kissing and maybe the odd fumble) by then. I finished it with him because he was too frigid and didn’t appear to want to be seen with me. After all this time, we now talk on line and are friends.
PC - We always had an on-off relationship through high school between the ages of 14 and 19/20. He ended up stalking me and used to travel 2 hours just to sit outside of my house. Nice. Strangely enough I don’t hear from him anymore!
Will - A local druggy who I thought I could change and help. I always had a soft spot for him as I knew that deep down that he was a softy. I couldn’t have been more naive even if I tried. I later found out that he had been drugging me and it was down to him that I became a heroin addict for a couple of months when I was 17.
Callum - My best friends very much married god father! Yes I really do attract them all and no it couldn’t be any more complicated! We ended up flirting (alot) and met up a couple of times, but we have never and will never have sex. I am very proud of myself about that, could have gotten very, very messy.
He is a lovely, bubbly guy though and a really good laugh to be around. He still fancies me, but we stopped texting each other when I got married. “It’s for the best etc.”
Tim - A guy I had a brief fling with from Bristol. He always expected me to travel the hour and a half journey to see him but never seemed willing to return the favour. He would use the excuse of not having enough money, however I could see his wages (through the means of work) and could see that it was not the case at all. He used to work in the Bristol store and each time I did a store visit or attended a meeting there since our break up, he would ignore me completely.
Kieron - A middle aged welsh shop fitter. He was doing up the store over the road from where I was working at the time and finally managed to convince me to go for a drink with him on his last night in town. I gave him my number and we flirted for quite a few weeks. I soon agreed to travel up north and spend a weekend with him, which is where I found out that he had a girlfriend and 2 young children back in Wales. Following that weekend I didn’t hear from him. Arsehole.
Dale - Met him online. Moved in with him three or four months later, got engaged seven months after meeting and was married one year and one month after meeting. Too fast, big mistake!
Found out he was smoking dope and he became a complete bastard and treated me and Jonathon like shit. I am now terrified of bumping into him on the street either on my own or with another man.
Drew - Well what can I say? He is the one I am currently in a tiz about! The only downside to him (so far) is his size and the fact he still lives with his ex. Other than that he treats me like a princess and is so lovely!

Shit. I’m in love. I promised myself when I left my husband that I would stay single until the divorce was finalised for two reasons, one so he couldn’t divorce my ass for adultery and two, so I would have time to sort my head out. But as usual, I rush into things! Why can’t my life just be simple for 5 minutes? I mean seriously, why did Drew have to come along and make me feel like this now?!
I have only just realised my true feelings by the fact that I can’t stop thinking about him and now I can’t even sleep for the same reason! I have even just written him a letter rambling on about how amazing he really is.
I so wanted to actually live the single life, just for a while anyway, I never used to make the most of being single. I have never gotten glammed up and pulled a bloke in a club, that’s the one thing I wanted to do before “settling down” again, to have a proper one night stand. I had a sort-of one night stand a couple of years ago in Bristol…
I went up to the city for one of my monthly business meetings and went to the local pub after with one of the girls I had hitched a ride with. Whilst there we bumped into a couple of guys from the Bristol store. Kate knew them as she had spent a couple of weeks working in their store not long before, she introduced me to Tim and Mark. We were all getting along great and mostly chatting about work. I went off to go to the loos and on the way back downstairs I bumped into Tim. He said that he really liked me and would love to exchange numbers. Me being me (and extremely flattered) happily handed my phone number over when he started to kiss me passionately. He pushed me up against the wall in the stairwell and continued to kiss me whilst slipping his hand under my shirt. After our little fumble, I made my excuses and headed back to rejoin the others sat in the bar. Both Kate and Mark were completely oblivious to what I just encountered in the stairwell. When Tim reappeared, he kept on stroking my leg under the table and sending me messages saying “That was great” and “I can’t wait to see more of you”. I struggled to keep a straight face, but knew that I had to. Relationships within the company were a big no-no and we could both lose or jobs for it!
After our brief meeting, Tim and I text each other everyday. He soon asked me to come back up to Bristol so we could get to know each other better. I managed to convince my housemate and her boyfriend to drive me up there as I hate city driving. So, two weeks after meeting I found myself back in a big city with a practical stranger. We had a lift from the city centre back to his flat (which he shared with a woman from the store) and he led me upstairs into his room. I was a little disappointed to say the least! It was tiny, he didn’t even have a bed as such, more a mattress shoved on the floor which touched 3 of the walls!
At this point I must admit to you, dear reader, I was still a virgin. All right, stop laughing! I also told him at the same point. I was gutted that I would be losing my virginity in a disgusting little bed sit in Bristol! But stupidly I didn’t let that horrifying thought stop me from doing the deed! I won’t go into details on this occasion, but lets just put it this way... It was an embarrassing disaster.
On the way back home, my housemate worked out that Tim and I had know each other physically (not on the phone) for no more than 20 minutes before he got me into bed! Oh the shame.
After that night we only ever saw each other through work and it turned into a very bizarre relationship whereas he expected me to travel an hour and a half to see him, yet he was not willing to return the favour. I soon called it quits after he ignored me at the works Christmas party. Bastard.

Sugar Daddies

Every-so-often when I get really bored, I will check a few dating sites. It was whilst I was doing this that I stumbled across a site called Sugar Daddy. To tell the truth I was looking up escort agencies to see if I could “make it” with my very average looks, it would appear that I could. Sugar Daddy just appeared as a pop up advert requesting rich men and “premier” women to sign up for their unique dating site.
I loaded up the web page, intrigued by what it could offer, in my eyes it was almost a step towards escorting, these guys would probably pay for almost anything. The way my mind was working, I could get paid for doing something I love and happen to currently be obsessed with! Surprisingly no ones profiles exactly jumped out at me, however I wanted a good time and some money fast! I made up my own profile with the site and I made sure it was a good one! I made the most of it being online and went 100% slutty!
Later in the day I received two emails, both from older men. One was in his late thirties and lived in London, he was requesting that I was to travel up to London and have a discreet relationship with him. I was a little frustrated as I believe that if it wasn’t for my current post-op status, he would have happily paid a nice sum to have an accessory to his marriage. I believed that my current status would be a major turn off to any man at present, therefore I didn’t reply to his email.
The other was from a near fifty year old called Paul and obviously had plenty of money (most of his photos were taken onboard a yaught). He seemed a really nice guy and we were flirting for the majority of the afternoon. He later offered to take me to a hotel in a rural town near London. This hotel was 5 star and even had private hot tubs on selected balconies!
I was over the moon, someone who had actually seen my photo wanted to whisk me away for a dirty weekend in a 5 star hotel!!! That was when I decided I probably ought to tell him about my recent surgery. He said that he was fine with it and that we would just have to avoid the hot tub! Somehow I didn’t quite believe him and haven’t heard from him since. Strange that.

Mischievious Pussy

The cat has just caught me masturbating, when I say caught I mean in the literal sense of the word! I thought she was curled up on the end of my bed, but no, she was watching every slight movement and pelvic thrust and soon pounced on my hand through the duvet! That soon put an end to that spot of fun eh?! Please, no jokes about troublesome pussies.
She has now ventured downstairs and I can hear her frantically scrabbling at the kitchen door. Bloody cat.

Yesterday I was feeling rather energetic and managed to relieve some of my OCD and I finally cleaned the kitchen! I felt so much better after, I cannot begin to tell you how good it felt! I could relax and happily lounge around in bed knowing that downstairs was sparkling. Sad I know!
Later on in the afternoon, mum came home to take me out to the local hospital for my weekly torture (sorry, physiotherapy) session. We turned into the road leading to the hospital to be greeted by a tail back of traffic going up to the car park. Bugger! I suddenly remembered mum has a friend who lives nearby and is always saying to park on his drive, worth a try I said! We pulled up outside his house and mum rang him to make sure it was OK, which it was of course! We hobbled down the road to the physiotherapy department (mum has a sympathy limp). We both walked in sniggering about the looks I was getting. It is as though people are desperately trying not to look, yet they are still trying to sneak a look at my leg. They don’t seem to realise that they may as well be staring at my leg on their hands and knees with a great big sign stuck to their foreheads saying “I’m looking at your leg.”
When we went in, the physiotherapist made me do some exercises using the fitness ball. I had to lay on my back (wouldn’t have minded being in this position so much if she was better looking) and roll the ball around with my feet. I would have much rather had balls in-between my legs right now (what?! It’s been a while!), then she suggested the bike! Mum and I looked at each other both looking vaguely amused by this suggestion. I just about managed to hop onto the bike and had to cycle extremely bow legged! I was only on level one but it felt really difficult all the same! By the end of my session, I was ready for a long hot bath and bed.

I woke up to my phone ringing, I glimpsed at the name on screen... Dale Forth, my soon to be ex husband. I instantly pressed the silence button and let the voicemail pick up the call.
I can’t be doing with the hassle and harassment from him, not today. For today is the second anniversary for my first miscarriage, it was only back then that I realised that I do want children of my own and last year I had a second miscarriage, somewhat dashing my hopes of ever becoming a mother.
I listened to the voicemail immediately after he hung up and it was as follows...
Dale (very aggressive tone) - “Will you stop removing my friends from Face Book, it’s very childish”
After listening to this I soon became angry, annoyed, confused and quite frankly pissed off. Whenever I view his account, I am there purely as a spectator. I only read what he has been writing and have never ever done anything nor will I ever do anything to the account. I know that if I was ever to do anything on his account it would blow my cover and put me in a very tight spot indeed. He doesn’t even know that I am aware of his login details, well not for sure anyway. If he had any sense, he would change his password as he had advised me to do the same when he was snooping on my e-mails. Anyhow, why would I want to remove his friends? What’s the point? And he thinks I’m childish?! Perhaps he ought to take a look in the mirror!
It then dawned on me, perhaps he was referring to my friends and work colleagues. Within the first couple of months of splitting up I had noticed that he was adding all of my friends and work colleagues to his account (including one of my ex's). I had e-mailed all of them warning them all that he was my husband (in case they thought it was someone else) and made them all aware that we had split up and he was a little bitter. I also included on the e-mail to them all that Dale was trying to spread shit about me and generally make my life hell. They all responded very well and immediately removed him from their lists. But he can’t blame me for that, it was other people doing it, not me personally! There is no way that I have physically done that myself. Could that be what he meant?
Soon after the call I logged onto his account to have a look for myself. I wanted to try to get to the bottom of the call. I immediately saw something that made my blood boil. Hubby had changed his status to “I am annoyed that Skelly the Guy has removed my friends from Face Book... Wot a sad act she is.”
Skelly was a nickname that the Goth’s used to call me, mostly referring to my skinny, skeletal frame. Never a good thing having the name Kelly, the only words that rhyme are horrible! Dale always knew that this name upset me and would always stand up for me whenever they said it. Now obviously the tables have turned and he is using it as the latest ammunition against me.
I hate the way he is making up these pathetic lies about me, especially online where thousands, no millions of people can read it including all of our friends. I am just extremely lucky that the vast majority of our friends know that I am not like that and are sticking by me throughout this.
I checked his “recently added friends” to see whether he had re-added the friends I was supposed to of removed yet. The only additional one was Karen, who he had blocked and removed himself a couple of weeks ago.
I took a peek at his inbox as I wanted to see if he had e-mailed them, which it turns out he had. There were two sent messages to a couple of young girls we go to church with. Both e-mails said the exact same thing, “Hi, I have seen that you have removed me as a friend. Have I done something to upset you? Please let me know.”
These girls are no more than 16 years old. I remember the last time Richard came over, he mentioned that he had noticed Dale had added a few of the younger girls from church as his friends on Face Book which he was slightly concerned about. Barry had said the exact same thing to me just a few weeks before. Rich had told me that he was worried that Dale would “prey” on the younger generations as I was half his age and was clearly what he preferred sexually.
Dale has still not received a reply from either of the girls and I seriously doubt he will if Richard has spoken to them and that could possibly be the reason they have removed him.

I hadn’t heard from Lou all day, so I rang him at quarter past 6 as I knew that he would just be finishing at work and away from prying ears. He said that he was just locking up the site and would go home and clean up, then leave to come and get me.
At half 7 my phone rang. It was Lou, “You won’t believe this, I got home to find Jennie stood on the drive waiting for me with her car keys in her hand, then she just went off saying she had to go over to fix her grandfathers TV! Which means I am now stuck at home with the kids.” He started to ramble on about something else but I could barely hear him due to a bad connection. He said that Jennie should only be 15 minutes and if she was he would be straight over.
This was just typical of Lou, unreliable as ever. This is one of the reasons I cannot see us having a proper relationship. He’s damn useful when he’s here though, and I must say, he is the best I have ever had by far!

Don’t you just hate it when the man in a relationship always wants you to make the decisions? I know that I do, with a passion in fact.
This evening Drew rang me to say that he had his final exam on Saturday morning and on his way back home (from college in the midlands) he would stop in and spend the afternoon with me. However, I had to decide what we were going to be doing for the afternoon. Obviously I objected to this comment, but he was having none of it. I had to decide and that was that.
I later sent him a message saying “I am really not worried about where we go. I have nowhere in particular in mind”
Drew - “You can decide sweetheart... Sure you will think of somewhere! If not I am happy to be anywhere with you.”
Me - “I used to go to a pub in Trent, haven’t been there since it changed hands though. I can show you where I grew up.”
Drew - “Yeah if that’s what you fancy sweetheart. At last a woman who has made a decision! Miracle!”
Me - “Shut up! You have to promise me that you will decide where we go next time.”
Drew - “No”
Me - “Yes. Either that or you have to admit that you are sweet and lovely!!!”
Drew - “I’ll think about the place for next time... think about it only! Doctor’s orders! Doctor thinks you need a thorough examination.”
Me - “No. That was not one of the options! You will decide where we are going next time!”
Drew - “I know where I want to go next time.......!
Me - “Let me guess... Bed?!”
Drew - “Doesn’t have to be in bed... just in you! ;-)”

Just then Lou started to text me. He was laid in bed so that he could escape the pointless bickering between him and Jennie. He was having a play (why else would he text me!). I was determined not to respond to his requests, I had gone for a few weeks without hearing from him, so why should I need to start now? But as always, I soon gave into temptation. He had supposedly sent me a picture message and was desperately trying to get me to send him one back. I refused to give in until I had received his, for all I knew it could have been Jennie texting me trying to catch us out.
Only then did I start the flirting. I know that I shouldn’t encourage him, he is married to one of my friends after all, but I just can’t help myself. We agreed later that he would come over tomorrow and we would go some where in the car to continue our physical friendship, our reason would be late night Christmas shopping; this is what we were “supposed” to be doing tonight, however I am still not feeling quite right.

3am bug

Just woken up with a really weird feeling in my stomach. I felt sick if I was laid down but felt as if I really needed the toilet when I sat up. I sat still fanning myself for 5 minutes. Then I heard the toilet flush and out came mum, she was in the same boat. It must have been something we had eatten for tea as neither of us felt too great.
Mum decided then that she wasn’t going to go to work the next day and I don’t blame her. I was supposed to be meeting Lou the following evening (Thursday) for a little light exercise in his car. But did not feel up to having a big muscular man pounding down on my stomach with his full body weight... Just in case! I decided I would text him at a more reasonable hour and when he would be at work in case Jennie saw the message.

I have had one of my usual insomniac nights and managed to get a measly 2 hours sleep last night. Typical seeing as how I had a busy day planned at Bristol hospital (nearly 2 hours away from home) and due to this I did not want to have to take a sleeping tablet. The tablets I have been given to help me catch a few z’s can often have a hangover effect the following day.
I made the most of being awake all hours and managed to catch up on this journal big style. I had the cat trying to assist me by happily walking across the laptop arching her back up until I had mouth full of black fur, yummy! Anyhow, back to the sleepy Bristol trip!
At nearly 8:30 am me and mum finally crawled out of the house both feeling exhausted, I was feeling fine to start with except for being rather tired that is! When we got about half way through the journey I started to have a hot flush then to feel queasy. I felt so bad that I made mum pull over in pub car park! Once the car had stopped I felt fine again, very bizarre. Most people grow out of travel sickness, not grow into it!
When we arrived I faced the long hop (on crutches) down a very steep hill into the hospital. As usual when I got to the clinic reception they sent me for the x-ray. I only had 2 films shot, one standing (not the most comfortable position) and one laid on my side. We went back along the long winding corridors to the frame clinic and had a lengthy hour wait, I wasn’t checking the time and could have easily been longer! I finally got ushered into a small room and told that my consultant would be along in a minute. They left the door to the doctors office open which meant I was able to be nosy and look at everyone’s x-rays as they came up on the screen. I am fascinated by the human body, so going through this experience has been incredible and a massive learning curve for me.
Every Wednesday the hospital's physiotherapy department holds a frame class. This is basically a big gym session for all of the frame patients like me. It’s really good to meet up with other people in the same situation as yourself, you can get some great advise from the people who have had the frame on for longer and just have a general chin wag! I was too tired today and had already decided against staying on for the class. One of the other frame patients poked his head into the room whilst I was waiting for the consultant. I had met him several times before and got on really well with him. He asked me if I was going to the class later in the day and was surprised when I said no. Both he and my mum were sat there trying to convince me and he suddenly turned and walked out of the room saying “see you down there”. I shouted “We’ll see” at his disappearing back.
When the consultant finally came in to see me, he had a quick look at my leg and the position my foot was now in and said it was looking good. He asked me if I was happy with the positioning which I was, then he ran off to get me “some homework”. Both me and mum looked at each other feeling rather confused. When he returned he had printed out another sheet of adjustments to be made on the frame. My heart sunk, I thought that part was all over but obviously not.

I have just been passing the time this morning by doing my favourite puzzles... Sudoku! I am completely addicted with them and could quite happily spend all day sat there completing page after page! I did my usual snoop on the internet, obviously checking my own e-mail and Face Book accounts first and then doing the sneaky checking of Dale’s accounts. On his e-mail, he has tried to e-mail a woman near London whom he had become close to (online only) not so long ago. He then sent her a message saying “I have prayed long and hard about this and God says shouldn’t talk to you anymore”!!! This was all because she was into a form of healing called reiki which Dale is completely against. Today's message to her was along the lines of “Don’t be cry baby and talk to me, even if it is spouting evil obscenities towards me” He is a very, very strange man.
When I saw his Face Book account, I became rather concerned. You have a status message at the top which people fill out with a brief message of how they are feeling, and Dale’s read “I am feeling annoyed that someone has set light to my car”. I remembered immediately a conversation we had a couple of months before I left him, in which he was saying how he wanted to take his (rubbish) car to a deserted lane and torch it to make an insurance claim as he needed the money. It took a great deal of arguing before he would see my side, however he was still convinced that was the right thing to do and that there was no wrong in doing it. Please remember this is a man who at the time was training to become a minister in the church! I scrolled further down the page to see a message from a good friend of ours saying “Sorry to hear about your car mate, any idea who it was?”. Dale’s response “It could be the neighbours we used to have problems with or Kelly might have put her new boyfriend up to it”
Seeing this message absolutely infuriated me, so I called my mum (who else?!) for some advise, she just said there was probably nothing we could do about it and to steer well clear until he says any other slanderous comments. As soon as I hung up from our conversation, my old minister (Richard) from Taunton phoned me and asked if I wanted a visitor. He didn’t even need to ask! I desperately wanted to see a friendly face from the town I called home, and someone who could possibly shed some light on the latest of the Dale situation.
After agreeing to the visit, I called Phillis and explained to her my dilemma about the car torching incident. She said that it does sound suspicious, however, she didn’t believe he would have done it himself as it was right outside of the flat, but there was always the possibility of him having become someone else to do it. Phillis even said, of course he was going to put the blame onto me, he was still very much deluded and he was believing the stories he himself was making up! She said that she would check with her husband (also a good friend of both me and Dale and the person he made the comments to) and find out when they can pop over to see me as she wants to catch up properly.
Rich turned up about half an hour later and we sat down to a cup of tea (what else do you offer a man of the church, eh?!). He said that the car was suspicious, however I should try to forget as there was nothing I could do. He also confirmed a lot that Phillis had said on the phone, including the fact that Richard had told Dale he was no longer allowed to do any testimonies within the church due to his current state of mind. Me and Richard swapped stories of Dalefor nearly two hours when he dropped a bomb shell on me...
I asked how my soon to be ex-stepson was doing and Rich looked over at me and said not too good. The other night he paid Dale and Jonathon a visit and my stepson was just going to bed. He obviously knew that Richard was there to talk about me and suddenly piped up “When’s Kelly coming home?” and Dale snapped back “She’s not, she doesn’t love nor care for you, go to bed”. Obviously he didn’t settle and soon got back up complaining he couldn’t sleep and made Dale read him a story. As soon as he was back in the room with Richard, Rich told him off for saying what he did to the kid. Richard also said to him that he needs to get his facts straight before saying anything like that, because that was one thing he was certain off, that I did love and care for the kid more than anything.
Richard also mentioned to me that when he got to the flat the gas fire was on full blast with the lounge window wide open! Apparently Dale’s reason was that the Doctor had said that Jonathon needs constant fresh air to help his asthma. The kid didn’t have asthma, I know this because we had taken him to the Doctor’s at the beginning of the year to investigate a cough that he had, but the Doc said it definitely was not asthma. After I had said all of this to Rich, he said he believed the window was open to clear the air of the smell, however Dale didn’t appear stoned at all. I explained to him that Dale hides it very, very well indeed. I used to hang around with people who smoked it, I had even had quite a few spliffs myself so i knew the signs inside and out, but with Dale, you often had to be stood within a foot of him, able to look deep inside his eyes before you could tell, he was very clever with hiding his tracks.
Later in the day, when mum returned home, I got rather snappy with her as my emotions had finally caught up with me. I hate to cry in front of people (even family) as it shows that you are weak, and I was only just able to stop the tears from flowing. I later apologised and explained everything that had been happening during the day. We watched a very silly kids film (I swear it’s aimed at adults though!) to try and cheer me up.
Drew text me as usual and I was a bit off with him, I really must have been down as he can always manage to cheer me up. He even suggested that he was to back off to give me some space to sort my head out and so that my ex wouldn’t have anything to find out, but only if I wanted. I replied that I definitely didn’t want him to back off, I enjoy his company and although I had always said I didn’t want anything serious, it’s headed that way. I also told him the only thing that was going to cheer me up today was a big cuddle from him. He then called me soppy.
I think at the moment I just need to get away. I hate being cooped up for too long in the same place with the same people, I need a break from it (with a nice man I reckon) to freshen up.

Extra Curricular - work relations

Somehow I have managed to get myself into another fine mess. I will give you a brief run down of the history. I have many links throughout the South West due to my position within the company I work for. This includes one of the major cities, Plymouth, where I have worked on many occasions in the past to save the manager’s backside from the sack. I have never been particularly friendly with the staff whilst being in their store, however I do know them all very well indeed.
Since my operation I have become rather well known across the social networking site “Face book” with all of my friends and colleagues past and present. On there I have found many of my co-workers across the South West including an ex-Sales Manager from Plymouth (Declan) whose conversation never went past “all right”. Not even a question, just a mere phrase.
For the past couple of weeks Declan has been messaging me on Face Book, just making small talk to pass the time, however today it went to a whole other level. I had previously noticed on his account that he was seeing a girl who used to work with him within the sales team, so I have always tried to keep my distance from him slightly. As I said to him one day “She could take me out with one glare, let alone if she was to take a swipe at me!”
So it took me by surprise when his flirting got a lot stronger. He was asking me how I had been over the past week (as we hadn’t spoken for a while) so I told him that I had been bored as usual but still managing to keep myself pleased at the same time. We both share the same level of dirty mind, although I had honestly meant for that comment to be innocent! I have to admit, it did make me chuckle (partially from surprise) when he replied “Really, do tell.”
Me - “Dirty boy, wanting to know all of the details! I have many toys to play with, what do you expect me to do when I am laid in bed all day long?!”
Dec - “Very nice. And me dirty? Never! Your the one who appears to be filthy, speaking of which, what is the filthiest thing you have ever done?”
Me - “The filthiest thing? There have been many moments for me, but I think the filthiest time has to be having a threesome followed by a foursome the next weekend. And your filthiest moment?”
Dec - “Nothing on that level! Mine has to be sleeping with 3 women all on the same night. I showered in between of course!”
Me - “Glad to see you believe in hygiene!”
Later in the same conversation, the topic moved onto photography and whether I had ever been photographed or filmed. I explained that I had been filmed whilst with an ex-boyfriend, but he still had the video, although he had probably sold it to some sleazy amateur porn production company by now. I also went on to say how I had been photographed many times, both tastefully (by other people) and not so when done myself for certain people! I said how I had wanted to do a professional nude shoot for my hubby but he wouldn’t let me. When I find the right person I would absolutely love to do a professional photo shoot, all very tasteful poses of course, and give the final product as a special gift to that person. Declan asked if he would ever see any of these pictures and I said only if he played his cards right. I was feeling rather playful by this time and the way that we had been talking so openly with each other for the past few weeks I was up for a laugh.
I was flicking through all of the x-rated pictures on my phone (kept in a separate folder to make the searching easier - not that I do this regularly mind!) when it became obvious he was getting impatient and sent me another message.
Dec - “I take it your looking for some?”
Me - “Just having a look at what would get you going... I think you are the sort of guy that would want the direct approach. Or would you prefer subtle to start with? I take it your GF is not going to walk in? I would expect something in return... just as pornographic perhaps?
Dec - “Direct is good, subtle to ;-) I have half hour to kill. I’ll see what I can make.”
Me - “ I can not believe I am about to send this to you! What’s your number?”
I managed to find a very teasing photo of me with a vibrator all the way inside, beginning to get rather wet. I sent it to his number in the hope that you couldn’t recognise me.
Dec - “Getting hard already!”
Me - “I take it you got it?! Just make sure they go no further ok?”
I sent him a couple more, showing the true extent of my filth (whilst solo that is!), one with just my hand and the final one was showing the result when I was dripping wet. He sent me one of his cock, I could tell he had only just taken the picture as you could see the keyboard next to his wanking hand. I have to say I was impressed and pretty much surprised, I never expected him to have such a good sized package. I messaged him to give him some encouragement and said I was pleased with the size. That is something I have learnt, always tell the man that his package is a nice size even if it’s not. It gives them more confidence and they will give you so much more passion when they are on an ego trip.
Dec - ”and it gets bigger...”
Me - “You are a tease! I had better have some company in my hotel next time I am in Plymouth?”
Dec - “We’ll see ;-)” “When are you back to work?”
Me - “Probably January when the cage has come off, unless they were to send me to work in your store as it’s the only disabled friendly store!”
Dec - “Me and you working together... Hmmm, too many dirty thoughts!”
Me - “lol! Would you be able to keep your hands to yourself?!”
Dec - ”You could always sit on them?”
Me - “there’s a thought! My hand’s very wet now, I will just have to suck it dry”
Dec - “Tease! I gotta go hun”
I swear I will never be able to look at him in the same light! Let alone with a straight face, and if I ever had to d a store visit when I have to be highly professional and strict?! Oh God, what have I done.

The day for the foursome had arrived and so had my nerves (again). My dad drove me over to Taunton and dropped me off at Jennie’s house thinking the only reason I want to stay there is to go to church... Hmmm I think I will conveniently oversleep the next day!
Jen was in the same position as me this time round, unsure and nervous about sleeping with someone new.
We just chatted about what we thought would happen that night and planned our outfits... You’ve got to make an effort for the boys ;-) Jennie picked out her Sexy Santa outfit (Christmas came early for all of us that night!) and I had a see through cream negligee with white stockings and ridiculously high heals! Please bear in mind at this point I had recently had a broken leg and seriously struggled to walk in flat shoes!
At 7 pm, Drew strolled through the door and took a seat on the other sofa in the lounge whilst Jennie put the kids to bed. We sat and chatted about all sorts, including his current living situation (with his ex girlfriend). he also showed me that he had brought a bullet vibrator with him and spare batteries which me and Jen had requested earlier in the day. For the rest of the evening Jennie, Drew and I all sat watching rubbish Saturday night TV until Lou got home from work.
When he finally got in, he sat and chatted to Drew much to Jen’s annoyance as she couldn’t hear the TV. When he finally had enough of Jennie’s whining about the TV, he went upstairs for a bath before getting dirty again with us. I could smell him before he even came back downstairs and felt myself already getting wet. Me and Jen sat eating chinese to give us enough energy for the night but the guys both said they didn’t want any. We also teased the guys by saying that we had a surprise for them, however neither of us let onto what it could be.
When we had finished eating Jennie and I went upstairs to get into our costumes for the night. We had quite a giggle getting into it and had to give each other a hand for most of the costume change! I had to use sellotape to get the white fluff off of the red velvet of Jen’s santa outfit, whilst doing this the guys started to come upstairs enquiring as to what the strange noises were and if we needed a hand getting out of anything. We sent them back downstairs so we could finish getting their “surprise” ready. We put my hair into two plaits like a naughty school girl and Jennie had hers down flowing over her shoulders. Now was the issue of how we would pose for the boys as they came through the door. Before the operation I was always very flexible and could reach my legs up unbelievably high, so I suggested putting one leg up onto the end of the bed, one of us either side of the bed. I had the side next to the wall so I could lean back and arch my back meaning my hips were thrust forward.
Now that we were ready for our foursome debut, we hollered for the boys to come upstairs. Lou walked through the door closely followed by Drew, their jaws dropped to the floor as they caught sight of us both, still recovering from yet again another fit of giggles, Jen glimpsed up at them both and said they were to remove our clothes first and then they were to lick us both out. This was greeted with enthusiastic replies of “Gladly” and “I’d be happy to”.
I could already see the bulge in Lou’s shorts getting larger and laid myself on the bed next to Jen. Drew had the job of undressing me whilst Lou tackled C’s clothing, Drew looked terrified, it was the first time he had seen me in a state of undress and he was obviously more nervous than the rest of us. He struggled with the buckle on the shoes at first, but once that was out of the way the rest soon peeled off quickly. He asked if I wanted the stockings on or off, I said “everything off” in the most sultry voice I could manage.
I saw Lou grinning subtly at me as he began to go down on his wife. Drew lowered his face down in between my legs and began his mission. He kept on commenting on how sweet I tasted and then proceeded to kiss me so that I could taste my own juices (not the first time I have to admit). He kissed me so passionately and pushed me back down into the bed and began licking me out again. At this point Lou began to finger Jen and she urged him to put more in until nearly his whole fist vanished inside her. Drew and I just watched in amazement at how much she could fit inside her and how much she was enjoying it. I don’t think I will be trying that one until I have had a kid or two to stretch it out!
I then prompted Drew to have full blown sex with me, I didn’t know how it would work with us due to his size, so we tried first with me on my back legs wide. I could see he was having trouble staying hard (stage fright maybe?) and offered him a hand however he refused. When he was finally able to stay erect he slipped a condom on and struggled to roll it down over his shaft, so another one then came out. Once he was eventually hard and protected he climbed on top of me, each time he got his knob in me, the condom would start to roll back down and he would go soft, so we agreed it would be best for him just to continue with the oral, however he did not want anything in return. I was happy with that, I have to admit giving a blow job is never a girls preferred choice.
Earlier in the day Jennie and I had discussed lesbians and what they must do to sexually please each other, I revealed to her that I had never properly kissed another woman, however we had agreed that during our foursome we would not have any lesbian activity, it would only be straight sex which the guys both knew and understood. I hadn’t realised that Jen actually paid attention to our earlier conversation and reached across me in the bed (I presumed to get something on the bedside table), she said “excuse me” quietly as her breast brushed across mine and next thing I know both our bosoms are pressed against each other and she is holding my face to hers embracing me in a passionate kiss. I felt so embarrassed as I was unprepared and knew that my mouth was salivating! It felt normal kissing her though, it was a long embrace and when we finished we both glimpsed over at the guys who were both obviously shocked and amazed, their eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of their heads! Lou shouted out “Get in” and smiled at me and winked. I can safely say they were impressed.
Soon after Drew’s failed attempt with me, Lou suggested switching partners so that Jennie could try something/someone different. Lou looked almost relieved when he was finally laid just behind me, he rapidly slipped a condom on and started pounding me hard and deep, much better than before it has to be said. I could feel the condom starting to roll down his shaft and cannot say whether it was on or not as when he pulled out he used his hand to retrieve the condom. It certainly didn’t feel secure. I didn’t care though, I hate to admit it but I wouldn’t mind having kids with him... He has already produced one beautiful little girl. He came as he was pulling out and I needed to clean up after so I am guessing that it was not on properly. We laid there with his arms wrapped around me making me feel safe and secure. We were in a world of our own and had completely forgotten Jennie and Drew who were still shagging slowly just the other side of Lou. We laid there for what seemed like an eternity just laughing and he whispered in my ear “I’m falling for you”. All I replied with was “I know”.

I spent all day worrying about what to wear that night when Drew was to pick me up. It had been years since I last had a proper date, if at all. I wanted to wear something warm yet still sexy and showed off my great assets. I ended up opting for tight skinny fit jeans with a brown V-neck sweater with holes throughout the sleeves.
When he arrived I told mum to stay in but as a typical parent she had to poke her head round the door and say hi! How embarrassing! But at least she doesn’t know the true reason as to why we were meeting!!! We got on pretty well that night, and luckily did not run out of anything to say. I have to say though I was shocked at how big he was! I felt like a little dwarf stood next to him. Just think of a celebrity with her man mountain!
As I had enjoyed the evening I gave him a small kiss goodnight, however I had to pull away when he tried to slip the tongue in.

Introducing a fourth!

Jen text me earlier in the week to say that Lou had found an additional person to have a foursome with, his best mate Drew. Lou then confirmed this today when I received a text from him saying “Great news, you up for a 4some this weekend? Drew is going to shag Jen so I can have you, here’s his number so you can get to know him first.” I text Lou back saying I didn’t know how to approach this guy, it was a long time since I had met anyone new outside of work and didn’t have a clue where to begin. Lou simply told me to act the same way to Drew as I do him... In other words flirt like crazy.
Message 1 - “Hi Drew, it’s Kelly, Jennie’s friend. I hear Lou has collared you into a passionate weekend amongst friends?! Is this your first foursome? x” What else was I supposed to say?! I had never met the guy before and all I knew about him was that he was really tall (6’4”)!
This very simple yet bizarre message began a day long conversation via text with Drew and Lou. Drew seemed a really nice guy, kind of on my level of filth and soon asked if I wanted to meet up for a drink one night so we could get to know each other properly before the fateful night, so near 60 messages later, we agreed the next night, he would drive over to Yeovil and take me out for a drink.

The next day Lou went off to work leaving Jennie and I to have a lie in. In the afternoon we moved out onto the patio again discussing the previous night. I didn’t know how to act around Jen as I had worked out Lou’s intentions for me. Did she know as well? She certainly didn’t seem happy with the idea of the threesome last night. My head was all over the place and I think Jennie’s was too.
We both sat in silence for a while nursing our cups of tea. Jen looked up at me and said quite sternly, that is never to happen again. She made me “pinky promise”, a very childish thing to do, but I could tell it meant something to her and I obviously wasn’t going to try to piss her off any more than I possibly had already. We agreed a foursome would be fine but no more threesomes. I knew that for me, the foursome would be out of the question. I didn’t know anyone who would want to do something like this and Dale certainly wouldn’t! Not that I would want to get in bed with him again. He was always convinced that I was seeing other guys and Lou happened to be the first person he had accused me of fancying and sleeping with! If only he knew!
Jennie and I talked about who her and Lou could have a foursome with and she was constantly dodging my name. She must have known that Lou was starting to get feelings for me. She was only suggesting a foursome with their friends Sonny and Tina. However, as I mentioned before Sonny was up for it and Tina was not. Tina was very paranoid and self conscious of her body. I really don’t know why though, she’s gorgeous and the perfect build!
When Lou got home from work at 9 pm, we all sat in the lounge having a final cup of tea and fag together. Jen said I could come back the following weekend, but NOTHING was to happen! She can be very scary when she wants to be so I instantly backed down and shot a look at Lou just in case he was going to start complaining that he wanted another threesome, luckily he stayed quiet looking into his cup of tea. He went upstairs and had a quick bath and soon returned smelling irresistible, talk about the Lynx effect! I had to force myself to stay away!!! He went outside and loaded the rest of my possessions into his car, let’s just say it’s a good job he has an estate car, I don’t exactly travel light!
On the drive home, we got talking about the weekends illicit activities. Lou apologised for Jennie’s behaviour, I simply said it was understandable. I felt nervous being in the car alone with him and had butterflies in my stomach. How was I supposed to act around him? It was difficult to read him, I couldn’t fathom out what was going on in his head. He started to explain to me that he had always had feelings for me since the day we met and knew instantly that I was different from the others he had been with. Why me?! I always seem to attract the married men! But he is so lovely, he has the looks (cute, cuddly bear with a cheeky grin), the mentality (he has sense money wise) and can get anything from furniture to knick knack's for free, a very handy person to know really, and also used to be a professional chef.
I sparked up a final fag just as we were coming into Yeovil. My mum didn’t know I had started smoking again so I wanted to have one last one before we arrived. Unfortunately my timing was as terrible as ever and we soon pulled into my street. I told Lou to continue down the road and we parked up in a secluded spot behind a group of garages to finish our cigarettes. He sat telling me about how unhappy he is in his marriage and how hard it is to live with Jennie because of her lack of money sense. I could see where he was coming from with all of his complaints and the more he told me the more sympathetic I felt for him. We sat for a while and Lou began telling me all of his feelings for me and how he would leave Jen for me. My head was spinning, I was one of her best friends, I should be the one telling her that Lou is being a naughty boy, not the one to cause the trouble!
I said we ought to get back to my mum’s as it was going to be really late by the time Lou got home. He kissed me passionately and I kissed him back. He’s such a good kisser, he makes you melt. I could feel myself getting wet and really wished that the back of the car was empty so he could fuck me again one last time.
We soon pulled up outside the house and I said to Lou that I appreciated the weekend and everything him and Jenny had been doing for me and that we needed to be very careful, I didn’t want anyone to find out and get hurt. I don’t think I could live with myself if I was to hurt her like that, she was crazy about him. Completely head over heals in fact.
When Lou had finished emptying the car he stood in the hallway preparing to leave. I was slightly annoyed that my mother was stood right behind me so I couldn’t say exactly what was on my mind, nor kiss him good bye. Instead he turned to me and said “Gimme a squeeze then!” We stood embracing for what seemed like forever. I didn’t want the moment to end, I breathed his smell in deep then tapped his back saying he really ought to get back to Jennie.

The Morning After the Night Before...

The morning after the night before and we all woke at half 6 whilst Lou was getting ready for work. Jennie and I had decided the night before to take the kids to our local church where many of our friend’s and Jennie’s family go, so we decided to get up as well. Lou looked like death warmed up when he finally crawled out of the door. Both me and Jen felt so tired however were still determined to go to church. This was going to be my first church service since leaving Dale who is highly religious and attends our church every week without fail (until recently that is)
Sat in church that Sunday morning was like hell. We were both sat near the front of the church still giggling about the night before, half way through the lord’s prayer when we all chanted in unison “forgive us our sins” I cracked up. I couldn’t contain it anymore, it seemed so wrong, us being in church the morning after a night like that! Forgive us our sins lord for we have many! I think if we had a confessional booth like the Catholics, Jennie and I would have been there all day!
After a few minutes had passed and a few odd looks, I was finally able to muffle my laughter, however the laughter soon moved to tears. We moved onto the worship of the day, which happened to be all of my favourite songs however as these were my favourite, they also happen to have been my wedding songs. I felt myself welling up and sat down and Jen soon noticed the tears starting to flow. She asked if I was ok and if I wanted to go out, I tried to put a brave face on and said we should stay. I wasn’t going to let the memories of a man who wrecked my life make me miss out on my weekly activity that I loved with my friends. My brave face soon shattered and I told her I had to get out of there.
Jennie went upstairs to get her fags whilst I went and sat on the tarmac of the church driveway. It was the first time I had properly cried in front of someone since leaving him. Jen soon emerged from the doorway clutching a packet of cigarettes, she passed me one which I promptly sparked up and sat clinging onto Jennie as if she was the last person on the planet. My fag soon burnt out so another came out of the pack which I rapidly smoked through. We then ventured back in and I suggested we sit near the back in case I needed to dash out again. Thankfully when we returned inside the worship was over meaning I didn’t need to risk hearing any more songs which would bring back the harsh memories of reality.
At the end of the service everyone congregates at the back of the church for a coffee and a chat. Most people by this time had heard on the grapevine that I had left my hubby and everyone was rapidly rushing over to me to offer their support and a shoulder to cry on. I had one person Pattie, who kept on telling me to do what my heart said, however when I told her that there is no way I could take him back after everything he had and hadn’t done, she kept repeating “no, you do what your heart says, not what other people say”.
Soon after I had been accosted by Pattie, Jennie whisked me back to her house on the outskirts of town where we migrated out into the garden for the afternoon. We sat on the patio smoking and chatting about the previous night and how fun and enjoyable it had been. Jennie admitted to me that she found it hard to watch Lou with me. She couldn’t explain the feeling fully, however described it as being a pull on her heart, not quite jealousy though. She then went onto ask me if I had ever had feelings, before last night, for Lou. This I completely denied, as a friend I know that it would be wrong to admit I had ever fancied him, let alone, dreamt of having his kids! We both agreed never to have another threesome (together that is!). That comment stood with exception to that night of course! We decided that I would stay until the Monday and Lou would drive me back to the town of Yeovil (where I was living at the time). I had stored some of my belongings and small furniture at Jennie and Lou’s house, so when Lou took me home he would bring back the rest of my things as well.
All day Jen and I had been texting Lou from my phone (Jennie had run out of credit), and soon the messages were obviously aimed at myself. They were the sort of messages Jen would have been shocked to see Lou sending to me and trying to hide them from her was nearly impossible. Jennie is a very nosy person, I don’t usually mind it as previously I had never had anything to hide and I am very open with anything in my life. Clearly Jennie wanted to know who the many messages were from and kept glimpsing over my shoulder and remarking “Why is he sending you that?! That must have been meant for me”, I ended up having to turn my phone onto silent and keep it in my pocket at all times, I didn’t want to risk anything for them.
That night we decided to let Lou share the bed with Jennie and I as it was too cold downstairs and we both felt sorry for him. Jen decided it would be best for her to sleep in-between me and Lou in-case his hands strayed during the night I presume. Whilst we were all laid there just chatting, Lou started to go quiet yet cheeky. He turned to Jennie and said how he really wanted a fuck, Jen replied “But babes, Kelly’s here, you’ll have to wait till tomorrow night”, Lou wasn’t going to give in easily and I said I didn’t mind through gritted teeth.
Soon after saying that, I realised I really did mind. Not only was I starting to feel a little sea sick from the rocking of the bed but I had a slight pang of jealousy as I knew that I wasn’t going to get any for a very long time due to the misfortune of being single and living back with my mother (never a good thing when you want to invite a guy back to yours). Lou soon tried his luck by sneaking his hand over to my groin where my own hands were already very much busy. He made me even wetter when Jen noticed and snatched his hand back. Lou then decided to really push his luck with Jen and started saying “What about Kell, she’s having to put up with this and she obviously needs looking after at the moment, she probably feels left out”. Which was true as I was feeling very much left out.
Jennie obviously got fed up with his persistent whinging and finally slammed her hands down on the bed and said “Fine, Kell do you want some?” Like I was going to turn down another night like the previous one! I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “if you don’t mind, but only if you are sure.” I didn’t want to get in-between them and their marriage. My marriage was well and truly over, however theirs was still going. It was apparent that Jennie was starting to get frustrated with the both of us constantly saying only if you’re sure that it’s ok and you will be ok with this in the morning as she was beginning to get snappy.
Lou soon moved over to me and took me on my side again as he knew that I enjoyed that position, he can get really deep that way!
He was obviously getting very carried away, so he knocked himself out of rhythm to avoid coming to quick. He then had to pull out and stop where he was getting too excited. He soon got back in and started to pump away much quicker than before, I then felt him begin to shoot his load and rapidly retreat. We didn’t want any accidental pregnancies (not with me anyway), try explaining that one to the church, Jennie’s family and mine come to think of it!
Jennie looked gutted that I had made him come and not her. After we both cleaned up we all laid down and went to sleep. Except me that is, I had cottoned on to Lou, I had realised he was falling for me. We were having an affair right under Jennie’s nose and she didn’t even realise, damn it I had only just realised!

Threesomes and New Beginnings

Before I begin, I would like to say, I do not agree with threesomes in a relationship, the sex with your long term partner will NEVER be the same and can possibly lead to a break-up, I also feel very sorry for any neighbours!!!

I was sat on the Sofa at Jennie and Lou’s house on a Saturday night. I was staying for the weekend as I had been since leaving my hubby, there would be me and Jennie sharing the double bed in their room upstairs and Lou would have the tiny lumpy sofa bed in the lounge. The kids had gone up to bed and as usual mine and Jennie’s conversation soon turned to filth! We were sat next to each other on the sofa when Jen turned to me and simply said “Lou wants to have a threesome.”
I was vaguely aware that they both wanted to have a foursome with a couple they are good friends with, Sonny and Tina, the other guy (Sonny) was quite happy to give it a go (name me a man that wouldn’t), however they were having problems convincing his girlfriend (Tina). She is a very paranoid person and extremely self conscious of her own body. Despite having the same body shape and stretch marks as Jennie she was not going to change her mind anytime soon.
When this was said to me, I simply turned to Jen and gave her a look of false shock. It didn’t surprise me in the slightest, Lou was the sort of guy who had already tried everything and anything in the world of sexual activities (except gay sex) and had also shagged his way up and down the street in which they live.
Jennie just continued, “ I don’t know if I would want a threesome, and even if I had one who would it be with? I would want someone who is a really good friend so I know I could trust them. Lou suggested you, but I don’t know?” Well that was a hint if I ever heard one!
We just joked around about it for a while and decided on a plan. We wouldn’t actually have a threesome, however would lead Lou on and convince him we were up for it. It would be fun just to wind him up and see his face. After that we just sat watching TV and forgot all about the previous conversation.
Lou finally returned home from his highly physically demanding job at around about 9 following a 12 hour shift. I had completely wiped mine and Jen’s conversation from my mind when she suddenly piped up and started saying to Lou about how we had discussed what they had talked about earlier in the week and that I was up for it. I felt myself blush crimson as the little light bulb flickered on in my head and just glimpsed over at Lou and winked. He tried to hide the surprised and happy expression from his face failing miserably. After winding him up for 5 minutes me and Jennie fell about with laughter! Lou looked up seeming very confused looked at me as if he was a poor dog that had just been kicked.
“You didn’t really think I would do that did you?! What do you take me for?” I managed to sputter out in-between laughs. He soon got over it and we all had a cup of tea and a fag.
It was about midnight when we finally decided to head off to bed. Jennie pulled out the sofa bed for Lou and went off to find him a couple of sleeping bags as the back door was going to be left open for the dog to go in and out. I went upstairs after saying good night and got changed into my PJs. Me and Jennie laid in bed chatting for ages, mostly laughing about our prank from earlier in the evening. Lou sent Jennie a text saying “if you do want to do anything you need to decide now cos I have work tomorrow.”
We looked over at each other both with a look of terror on our faces, which soon turned into yet more laughter. Was he just trying to call our bluff and get revenge for his disappointment or was he being serious? Jen phoned him (lazy mare!) and announced how I was wetting myself with laughter, I was surprised he couldn’t hear me from downstairs, I was hysterical by this point simply from the thought of seeing them both naked!!!
We all talked about it umming and ahhing for ages, then Lou said “why don’t I come upstairs so we can talk about it cos it’s bloody freezing down here.” We agreed and up he ran, he was right he was cold. He sat on the end of the bed bundled in the duvet trying to warm up and kept moving his foot onto my leg. I didn’t know how to feel about it, had Jennie noticed what he was doing? Was he trying to come onto me? I was only 3 weeks out of a marriage, my head was already all over the place, did I need something like this to mess it up even more? What if Dale found out? He would then be able to divorce me for adultery, I certainly did not want that black mark on me, I am not the sort of person to cheat on someone. If you are with someone, then you are with them and them alone. I have been hurt by cheaters before (usually me being the other woman) but that’s another story.
For me and Jen this was a first, so we were kind of relying on Lou to guide us as to what we do, we had already agreed that there would be no lesbian activity which Lou said he was ok about, you could tell he was a little disappointed though. I had had a threesome a few years ago, however I was so drunk that night I barely remember it! I just know that the guy only had full sex with my mate, I was there as an addition, he only used toys and licked me out. Anyway back to our current night of passion.
We talked about any issues we had or what we felt uncomfortable about. For me I was worried about my body, I had recently had major surgery on my leg, so as well as being so skinny I looked anorexic I had hideous scars going all the way up my thigh. Lou said he had no problems with scars and that skinny was fine, I had big tits so he really wasn’t worried. Jennie showed me her stretch marks (barely noticeable) but it made me feel better all the same.
After that and Lou had warmed up, he wriggled up under the duvet until he was laid in-between me and his wife. He looked across at each of us with his usual big cheeky smile. Me and Lou were both concerned with Jennie, and kept asking her if she was sure that she wanted to go ahead with it and we all promised each other that nothing would change in our friendships, no awkwardness and the like. They had no condoms in the drawer, so Jen had the job of convincing me that L is very good with his self control and would be able to pull out in time. He asked her how she wanted to do it and she replied in a very quiet voice that Lou and I should kiss so that we could all get used to the idea, I was nervous at this point and could feel my heart thumping against my chest. I glimpsed down at Lou and he smiled up ready and raring to go, I bent down and kissed him gently on the lips to start and glimpsed over at Jennie to check she was ok with it, she urged me on so I guessed she was fine! We kissed more passionately and then he moved away and kissed Jen, he moved his hand beneath the duvet and started rubbing my clit whilst his other hand was on his knob, I followed suit and moved my hand in-between his legs and he laid back enjoying every moment, Jennie then took over on his shaft whilst I massaged his balls. We briefly talked about who would be fucked first, Jen decided she wanted me to be “seen to” first, as then it would mean she would have the making up sex with Lou, plus he would come in her and not me.
He was the biggest I had ever had and considering the fact that I still had a broken leg from one and a half months ago, he knew he had to go gently. I felt his cock teasing my lips and throbbing as he slowly eased it inside the moist walls. I was laid on my back looking up to him and he kept whispering to me “Are you ok? Is this all right?” I glimpsed over and saw Jennie glaring at us both as he pumped me harder and faster, I flinched from the tightness as he pushed even deeper. He asked me if it would be easier on my side, so I obliged and rolled over, it was my first time having sex laid on my side like that, I clung onto the edge of the bed before he pushed me off. And bit down on the pillow to stifle my screams of pleasure. I have never had so many multiple orgasms in my life! It was an incredible feeling. Just as I was about to come again (I had lost count how many times by then), Lou pulled out panting saying he’s getting too excited. He moved onto Jennie and made love for a while whilst fingering me at the same time. Jen soon caught sight of his hand and pulled his hand up onto her breast. I watched while they fucked and entertained myself.
We stopped a couple of hours in and sat looking at each other in shock. Lou went downstairs to get us all a drink. We sat around giggling at each other enjoying ice cold Cola and chain smoking Lou’s cigarettes. Ten minutes later Lou looked at both of us in turn “Ready for another round?” Of course I was, but I didn’t know how Jennie was taking the situation. She said she was fine about it and was also ready. Lou took me on the side again getting even deeper than before and passionately kissing my neck and shoulders. He was getting harder and faster, the more of me he had, the more he wanted and the more I wanted.
After a while Jennie piped up “Right, that’s enough, me now. And I want it doggy.” Me and Lou looked at each other, we both knew that the night of passion for us was over and tried to hide our disappointment from Jen. He took her from behind and kept glimpsing over at me asking if I was ok. He was constantly trying to involve me again but Jennie was having none of it. Each time he tried to kiss me she would swipe at him and pull his face back to her lips. I knew that it was getting to her so I didn’t even try to encourage him, I just pleasured myself whilst watching them.
Next thing we knew it was four in the morning! Lou had work in the morning and had to be up at 6 am, so he kissed us both good night and ventured downstairs to bed leaving me and Jennie to turn over and go to sleep.

Things are looking up!

No word from Dale today.
Went up to Bristol today for a check up with my consultant. Had yet again another x-ray which showed that the break was healing nicely. My second operation is now predicted for 22nd October, providing people in Bristol stop being so damn clumsy and breaking bones!

I can be too naive!

Woke up at half three in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. I checked my email once mum had left for work to find that Dale had sent me a couple of messages. These were not too harassing but I did respond to answer any queries and to clear up a few issues. We were emailing for quite some time and it all seemed very much up and down (emotionally and harassment-wise).
He then phoned me at lunch time which was good. We spoke for two hours and when he said how he really didn’t think I cared I started to cry. He was very sweet, which was a first as he usually runs away if I ever got emotional. He said that in his head he was holding my hand and giving me a hug.
It seemed a good conversation despite the occasional accusation, but once we had gotten it all off our chests, the other either explained their side of the story or apologised. It ended with talk of us possibly making another go of things away from Taunton for a fresh start. He asked me to move with him and the kid to Southampton which would mean me having to leave my family and my job and not only that but if things were to go pear shaped again, I would have no escape.
He seemed amazed that we could still talk as friends as all of his past exes, he had kept as enemies.

Managed to get back to sleep once mum had left for work and woke again around 10. Went online to find Dale had emailed me again. This time he seems to have finally seen the light, that it was him who has done wrong and not try to put the blame on me. He even called himself a “wanker” and “cunt”!!! I would like to make it clear - he said that NOT me! Although it is very true!
I then got a little too nosey for my own good and logged onto his email account to be faced with two suspicious emails. One was from a Christian dating site saying he had 6 members wanting to meet him and the other was also a dating site saying his photo had been accepted. Obviously I was very curious at this stage and looked up his age group on match.com (how we met in the first place) and his account had been active in the last 3 days, surprise, surprise! This to me is showing that he is actively seeking an affair and doesn’t seem to realise that we are still married and will remain married until probably late next year when we have both signed on the dotted line and the divorce is finalised.
He sent me a text whilst I was online saying he had been offered a maisonette in Southampton, he just had to save up for the move. I don’t yet know when he intends on moving, however either way I (for my solicitor) will need to know his whereabouts so that his parts of the paperwork can be sent to him. My main worry is that he will move and not tell anybody, including his solicitor, and I will remain married to him until he has signed the forms off. Either that or I would have to wait a minimum of 3 years and file for a legal separation which my solicitor did not seem too willing to do.
Mum took the afternoon off to come to the solicitors with me. It seemed a waste of time. They said it was pointless in doing a legal separation unless there would be a financial gain, which there wasn’t as we had no joint financial commitments together. She also said I would have to hold fire and wait until next May before filing for divorce which by then we would have legally been married for one year. From what she said and the information I had told her I should have good, strong grounds for divorce.
I have also found out that normally it would cost approximately £500 to cover the divorce, but thankfully because of being on long term sick leave my earnings are low enough (by only £50!) to be entitled to receiving legal aid. This is a government funding scheme by which they (the government) will pay all of my solicitor fees.

Mum did us a fry up this morning, it’s good to have something unhealthy once in a while! One of her friends came over and she obviously knows the current situation and the full story behind it. We had a good bitch and moan about men and my ex in particular. She told me that I was much better off without him and the only way now is forward, which is true as even if I did want to go back, too many hurtful things have been said.
We then went over to see Nan and granddad (mum’s parents) and had a chat with them. I was amazed that neither of them mentioned my shambles of a marriage. Nan has lent us a pile of DVDs (we watched Happy feet, very strange film indeed), a puzzle board and a stack of puzzles. Should keep me going for a while!
Then tonight Dale started texting again. It started with him saying that I had his Play station memory card, could he have it back please. I said I would put it with a book of his and my key to post back.
Dale - “Thanks, so I guess this marks the end as you would want it did you read the song of songs?”
I presumed he emailed me something again, so I logged on and the email simply said “read song of songs - The Bible, this is what I tried to say for the wedding”. So I text him to say the email hadn’t come through properly and that I never wanted this to happen, it takes 2 to make a marriage work and it was all very one-sided.
Dale - “Yes it did my sided as we see it no chance of a second go or do you always give up at the first hurdle?”
Me - “There is no second chance. And this is not the first hurdle. You have broken countless promises to me including wedding vows. I can’t take anymore. I have said to you exactly what our problems are but you wouldn’t listen and didn’t want to make any changes or sacrifices to help the situation.”
Dale - “You spent all my money and did not show any love to Jonathon you have got someone else haven’t you?”
I would love to know how I have spent all his money! Plus it’s not even his money, it’s the governments money which he is conning from them. I was always the one who would give the kid the time and listen when he needed someone to talk to. And the same old accusation. He can believe what he wants, I know the truth and it would appear that so does everyone else.
Me - “Don’t be stupid. You should trust your wife. You have never trusted me from the word go. I have trusted you with everything yet you still broke my heart because of drink and drugs. Am going to bed now.”
Dale - “I did trust you until the manjina incident and when you went out with J. That’s what broke me and made me turn to dope.”
That manjina incident is something that happened months ago, near Christmas ‘06 when I was working back in Yeovil. The guys in the shop are all like overgrown kids. This particular day they came upstairs into my office doing “manjinas” (tucking their penis in between the legs to look like a vagina) in front of me. I did what any girl would have done and told them to put it away and to get lost. I told Hubby all of this but as usual he has twisted it in his mind and I apparently wanted them to do it and enjoyed looking at their willies. Despite not being able to see anything! If I had something to hide, why would I have told Hubby in the first place?
The night I went out with J was so that I could go out with the staff from the Yeovil store. This is the main reason I have had to drop all of my male friends, if I even so much as think about going out with them, then I am having an affair. Dale needs to learn how to trust women, else he will never be able to hold down a relationship.