Ex problems...again

Yay! Drew is coming over today!!! I have been awake since 5 am unable to sleep due to my excitement. How sad it is that I am getting excited about someone coming over for the day when we probably won’t say anything to each other for the majority of the day and will just lie there cuddling. I love his company though it has to be said. I feel so safe and secure when I am in his arms and I hate to say it, but I could easily fall asleep in his embrace! Which is a good thing as it shows how safe I feel and that I can be 100 percent relaxed around him!
This morning Richard phoned and left a voice mail to say that he could come over and pick it up if I wanted him to. This was not ideal as Drew was just about to step in through the front door (quite literally) and mum was still adamant that her and my dad would take it over to him and have a word with Dale. So I called the minister back and explained that mum and dad would be dropping it round to Dale and we wouldn’t need to involve him, next thing I know he is offering to come and see me as a friend and a minister to see how I was doing, so I had to make my excuses as to why he couldn’t visit today! I felt terrible as I hadn’t seen him for quite a few weeks and could do with a friend from the past to talk to.
Drew was just walking up the stairs whilst I was on the phone to Richard and knew that he had to stay quiet. When the phone call was over I sat on the end of my bed, he walked in and he said how cute I look when I’m sleepy. I instantly argued this point and took a quick glimpse in the mirror, Oh my God! Was he taking the piss?! I looked as though I had been dragged through a hedge backwards! I was not as amused by my appearance as he was and attempted to tame my wild hair with my fingers but to no avail and soon gave up trying.
We laid on my bed chatting and joking around, I was still pinning my hopes on mum going into town later in the day so that we could have a little more intimate fun. Drew was trying to wind me up about this by saying how she would end up changing her mind and leaving it later and later in the day before leaving. I was trying to remain positive and kept repeating “She will be going out, just not yet that’s all!” It was just then that I noticed it starting to rain, not very promising when mother was due to go and stand at the bus stop before going shopping, my heart plummeted and I finally decided to find out when she was to leave.
I walked over to mum’s office and stood chatting to her briefly about Dale and the mornings antics. I had gone to talk to her with a mission...to find out when she would be going out! She explained to me that he had text her saying that I was a heroine and cocaine addict, which thankfully she didn’t believe. If she knew about my past it would crush her. We managed to laugh off the accusation and I hoped that my nervousness and panic didn’t show, I soon dropped into conversation that mum was supposed to be going out and I asked her what time she intended on leaving as a bus was due in five minutes. She didn’t look too suspicious and just said that she was going to make some sandwiches and then would go to the bus stop beside our house.
I retreated back to my room where Drew was laid waiting for me. I told him about Dale’s latest accusations about me and that my mum appeared to be upset but I didn’t think that she had believed it. He soon put my mind at ease and made me forget the ordeal by rubbing my clit. He made me feel so horny so fast, I thought I was going to explode! He had to stop when he heard my mum walking up the stairs to deliver us some sandwiches! He only ever seems to move quickly when he hears my mum near the door, but it provides some good amusement for me all the same!
Whilst we ate, we chatted and giggled like a pair of naughty teenagers. Neither of us could wait until mum had left the house as it would mean we could do what ever we pleased and make plenty of noise and not worry about my poor mothers opinion of me! When we heard the front door close behind her, we both sighed with relief and his hand soon got to work as we cuddled on the bed. He was pushing and rubbing so fast and deep I could feel all of my nerves come to life, within seconds I was sopping wet. He made me come each time he bent his finger up and brushed against my g-spot.
Soon enough we were both stripping off and flinging our clothes across the room, both equally hungry for each others comfort. He was already hard and ripped open the condom wrapper with his teeth and through it to one side whilst slipping the latex over the tip of his member, he rolled it down the long fat shaft and laid behind me. He started to rub my clit again so that he could prolong his stiffy and soon shuffled nearer to me. I felt him slip in and he started to pump into me. I pushed back against him with as much as force as I could physically muster enjoying the feeling of having a big strong man inside of me again. I had been waiting for this for so long and could feel myself relaxing and melting into his body.
Following our “moment” together, we lay cuddling and finishing off the Doritos mum had left in my room for us. Before I knew it he had to leave. He was due to pick up his mum and her friends at 4 pm and it was already twenty past! I understood and sat up in the bed giving him my naughtiest look as he walked away from my room lingering for that extra minute. When I heard the door click shut I breathed out and picked up my phone writing out a text message as fast as I could saying “Thank you, that was amazing! xxx”
I spoke with mum later on her return from town, regarding her conversations with Dale from that morning. She had tried to speak to him on the phone to say that it wasn’t convenient to deliver the car seat this weekend and he would have to wait for it. As per usual the conversation soon developed into an argument, I don’t know what he was saying as I could only hear part of mum’s side of the conversation, these are the only bits that I remember.
Mum: It’s not convenient for us to get the car seat to you this weekend, also the kid is too big for this one, he only needs a booster seat now. You have been asked twice by the solicitor to stop contacting Kelly as it upsets her.
Following this comment he said “It’s because she’s got a new boyfriend!”
Mum: Don’t be stupid, she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She left you because of your drug taking, why can’t you just realise that?
After mum said boyfriend, Dale had hung up, which was typical of him as he never seems to like hearing the truth especially when it involves him. They then played text tennis for a while
Mum: “No she hasn’t, You’re not to keep ringing because it upsets her”
Dale: “She does have a boyfriend its on Face Book and she has been seeing him before she left.”
Mum: “Just because she has male friends doesn’t mean they are boyfriends. Do not judge my daughter by your own standards.”
Dale: “It says she has a new boyfriend and I’ve been told by friends it’s true she has lied to you my standards are alot higher that skellys ever were she even had sex with her boss the second time she met him”
Mum: “You are completely deluded. Kelly left you because of your drug taking. Take some responsibility for your own faults.”
Dale: “And what about her heroin and cocaine addiction. Thats why she never had money”
Mum: “I have two words for you and the second one is off”
Dale: “The truth hurts doesn’t it.”
I could have happily throttled him after reading these messages. Mum was unaware that I had taken drugs in the past and especially did not know that I had a brief heroin addiction. I had never gotten into any financial difficulties because of drugs. The cocaine part was completely made up, I had only ever tried it once and hated every minute of it. Thankfully mum didn’t believe this accusation, it was the one thing I had ever lied to my mum about and I felt terrible for doing it, however I was doing it to protect her, it would destroy her if she knew what I used to do, even though it was over and finished with years ago.

Pornographic Friendship? Not gonna work!

I am absolutely gutted! Mum has now informed me that she is no longer going to Exeter tomorrow. She also added “That hasn’t ruined any of your plans has it?”
“Nope, don’t worry about it” was my response. “Of course it bloody has! I wanted a good shagging, do you know how long it’s been?! I can’t take much more!!!” Is what I should have said, but I didn’t think that would go down too well! She would probably never leave Drew and I alone in a room again!
I made a start on Richard Hammond’s book today so that I could get one out of the way, plus I know that mum will want to read this one! I must say, it appears to be a good read and I couldn’t put it down!
Later, I text Drew to make him aware of the changes to tomorrows schedule and his response was “You’ll have to keep your moaning down then!” I was so looking forward to finally being able to scream out as well! He then suggested having sex bent over the (very creaky and old) bed, I think (hope) he was joking - what with my leg!
At about 9 pm Tim started to text yet again. He was doing his usual thing and going on about being lonely and desperately trying to flatter me (he knows compliments are my weakness!) and to win me back. I had to tell him that I don’t believe long distance works and that we would have to stay as friends. Next thing I know, he is demanding a picture and quite happily sending me one of his fat knob. I don’t think he quite understands how to be friends with a female without the need to shag!
I sent him one picture back of my dripping pussy and said to him that was all he would be getting (ever) and that we had to remain as friends not partners. He ended it by saying “OK, change baby to sweetie. Night buddy.” When will he ever give up?!

Boxing Day with a very Spoilt child

I woke at 4 am, got back to sleep at 7:30 am and my alarm went off at 8:30 am! Bloody insomnia!!! So after only 2 hours sleep I grudgingly emerged from my pit to wake mother from her slumber, for today we are due at my uncles for about 10:30 am. I only realised as we were getting ready, the reason Uncle Steven wanted us over so early was because we are usually late for any gatherings!
We arrived to see Nan and Grandad sat on the floor playing games with Thomas, my 2 year old cousin (and an only child, very spoilt!). We all sat helping him play a game where butterflies fly up and out of an elephants truck and you had to catch them in nets, although he only seemed interested in watching them fly up and fall down!
At lunchtime we (the guests) were all shocked at the lack of discipline they were giving to Thomas. First of all he couldn’t decide which seat he wanted and was swapping for about 10 minutes whilst Uncle Steven looked on. Even whilst we were all eatting, he was more interested in trying to sit on his mum’s lap or get down to have a little run around, but the worst part about it the meal was when Thomas decided to chew all of his food up and spit it out onto the floor. His parents simply went and got a tissue to clear it up, no stern words said, no hands across bottoms, no nothing!
Crikey, if he was my son, I would have very sternly told him off, lectured him about good manners when you have guests and made him apologise to everyone present. And not only that but he would also be sat in a high chair! That way, you can still involve the child with the rest of the group and stop him from running about and trying to escape, well almost anyway!
Following lunch, we all exchanged gifts. My Nan gave me a a book, a DVD game and a purse, these were all taken from my online Christmas list. I was rather disappointed to see that the purse was actually red! I was sure, when making the list online, that it was pink! My uncle also got me a book, it’s a good job I am off work for the next few months as my reading pile has now grown dramatically!

Christmas Day Affairs Revolution

Drew came over at half nine to exchange gifts with each other, I didn’t tell him that I had barely slept and could have done with a couple of hours extra sleeping! He got me a lilac scarf (although I only ever wear pink), pink super soft gloves, a bumper book of Sudoku, Desperate Housewives (DVD set), a mint chocolate orange (as I am allergic to orange), “Jiggleballs” - Ann Summers version of love balls/eggs and a Sex Bible. He also gave my mum a box of chocolates which was very sweet as neither of us had expected him to have bought her anything and mum hadn’t gotten him anything. Thinking about it we should have offered him some cake.
I got him a travelling Honey pot (fake vagina designed to look like a torch), Build your own Lamborghini and the Revolver (another of Ann Summer’s explicit male sex toys). Drew only stayed for an hour before having to rush off to his family gathering.
All round a good visit!
Mum got me a game for the Play station and the DVD of Hairspray. My brother (or rather his girlfriend) had bought me perfume despite never exchanging gifts. Mum and I watched Hairspray later whilst eatting roast duck for lunch in mum’s room and spent most of the day playing the Sims Castaway and getting the courage to try out my balls!
Lou text me tonight, implying that he wants to continue the affair, he obviously didn’t pay any attention to Eastenders tonight as Max and Stacey’s affair was revealed resulting in loss of family, blood and extended. I have now decided that next time he can be bothered to come over I shall allow him to do the 45 minute drive, look absolutely stunning, but not allow him to have me! It will be hard (especially him!) but I am strong enough, mainly because he has pissed me off so much but hey! He’s had plenty of chances but now he’s lost me, he even knows that I am beginning to get emotionally involved with Drew, his best mate, so it’s tough luck on Lou’s part.
Just after the barrage of filthy messages from Lou, Jen text me to thank me for their presents and to say that the kids loved them. Again I felt that now familiar pang of guilt.
I ended up texting Drew to say I was glad I saw him today, and that all I really wanted for Christmas was him. I was trying to drop him a hint of how I felt for him without saying those three words. I. Love. You.

Christmas Eve

I have finally gotten home from what can only be described as a very bizarre night out! My brother Lucas picked me up at half nine to take me to the pub, however he had to go around town delivering some Christmas cards first. I was happy to go with him as it was getting me out of my bedroom and we had a lot to catch up with. It was pretty normal except for the fact that he didn’t want to be seen by any of his recipients, and let me just say he would make both a terrible spy and burglar! It all got pretty amusing after he realised that he had delivered one card to the wrong address and had to race back home to get another card for her!
When we had finally finished the deliveries and he was satisfied that his driving had really scarred me for life, we headed to one of my local pubs. We got some very odd looks when we only ordered soft drinks, bearing in mind that it was very late on Christmas Eve! It also must have looked very strange with us two being out so late, neither of us have an exactly aging appearance, it must have looked like two kids in their mid teens who had escaped the family home for a Christmas drink!
I have now decided I am definitely not going to continue the feeble affair between myself and Lou. I had found out that despite him declaring his undying love for me and asking if he could live with me (at mums house) once he had left Jennie just after Christmas, that he had bought Jen concert tickets for next summer! Very strange, I think that if I was to continue with the relationship and make a go of things with him then he would end up cheating on me and get back with Jennie. I can’t go through that and I certainly will not continue to put Jennie through it.
New years resolution - Stop attracting/flirting/encouraging married men, no matter how attractive or nice they are nor how much they offer me! - Especially friends husbands!!!Christ

I may actually have a social life this week! My brother text me earlier today to let me know that he would be spending Christmas back in Yeovil and did I want to meet up? Of course I wasn’t going to turn down his offer, anything to escape these four walls! So it was decided, tomorrow night he would take me out to a local pub, should be interesting as neither of us have anything in common except for being bisexual!
On Christmas day mum and I are staying home to chill out for the day, as we do every other day of the year! Drew will be popping over for a short while to exchange gifts.
Boxing day will be spent with my mum’s parents over at my uncles house which will be very interesting as none of us have anything in common either! All of that side of my family are very posh and both myself and my mum struggle to find anything to talk about with them. It will be a long day!
I emailed Sarah from the Yeovil store this morning in desperation of an escape plan and she called me in the evening to discuss further. She has decided to leave her young daughter with her sister for the night and will take me to a pub just around the corner from my house. Should be fun as neither of us would be drinking! Sarah loves to play “pub sports” otherwise known as pool and darts and asked me if I would be able to shoot some pool. I figured I should be able to hop around the table and maybe even use my crutches as the pool cue! Also it meant that I would have an excuse for being completely useless at the game!
Sarah asked me how my recovery was going and I excitedly told her of today’s adventure, I had managed to hobble around the small block! She found this highly amusing - Bitch! Perhaps I should break her leg and see how she finds the long and tedious recovery?!

Drew came over this morning for a couple of hours. He really cheered me up in more ways than one! I had informed him yesterday of the fact that today was “World Orgasm Day” and surprisingly he hadn’t forgotten and was determined to let me get in on the action! Unfortunately mum was at home, so we couldn’t exactly “get jiggy with it”, however we improvised, or rather he did! His hand managed to creep down to my already wet pussy and teased my clit. I wanted to scream as his fingers twitched inside me, but had to suffice with biting down on his shoulder, I had to leave my mark somehow! We leapt apart when we heard something near the door, we both thought that my mother was going to come bursting through the door at any moment, however was somehow glad that it was the cat who broke in and pushed the door wide open! I rapidly covered up and that was obviously the end of our fun for the time being.
After Drew had left my best friend, Leah, phoned me for a chat and to see how my recovery was going. We hadn’t spoken for a couple of weeks, so both had plenty to talk about to fill in the gaps! She mentioned at the end of the call that it was Callum’s 40th birthday soon. She is completely oblivious to mine and Callum’s near history and is also unaware that he fancies me. Following our conversation I decided to text Cal to wish him a happy birthday and to wind him up about the milestone! He then phoned me. We just chatted about my break up from Dale and Leah’s brothers approaching wedding and baby (neither of us can quite believe it!). He also mentioned how he had missed talking to me as he had deleted my number to avoid temptation and to evade the risk of Dale finding any messages. We agreed that we could text each other, however must not allow it to get too frisky as it used to.
Later my phone rang again (my, I was popular today!) and when I saw the name my heart plummeted, along with my stomach. Dale. I took a deep breath and did the usual, pressed silent. I waited for what seemed a lifetime before the message came through and listened feeling rather sick.
“I need the child (car) seat. You have a week to deliver it to me otherwise I will have no choice but to report it to the police as stolen.”
I felt terrified as I knew he was friends with several local policemen. But how ridiculous! The car seat he is referring to is a crappy polystyrene block that loosely resembles a child’s car seat, it is not even the right size for the kid! I imagine it would probably be worth no more than a couple of quid and that the police would simply laugh him out of the station, but it’s just the thought of having police coming knocking on my door to arrest me! I am not the sort of girl who would ever get arrested!!!
I phoned up Rich, our minister, to inform him of the phone call which he laughed about and said that he was still very much delirious about the whole situation. Richard told me how him and Dale weren’t exactly on friendly terms at present and it would appear that Dale has also now fallen out with the couple from upstairs. He went on to explain that he had been out bowling with the church and the couple in question were at the alley and didn’t seem too keen on discussing Dale, not in a friendly manner anyway. Rich ended the call saying that he would try to find someone to come over and collect the kids car seat.
Later in the evening my work phone beeped at me saying I had a message, I half expected it to be Drew as he usually texts me on this number, however it was Tim. What is it about this time of the year that brings exes out of the wood work?! This was the third ex to contact me today!
Tim - “Hey how are you? x”
Me - “I’m ok thanks, and you? x”
Tim - “Yeah I’m cool. Howz love life and stuff? x”
Me - “All ok. Going out on a date in a min. But I wil be taking things slow this time! My leg is still in the cage for another two and a half months. And you? x”
Tim - “Still alone x see should have stayed with me x”
Me - “Yes but it would have been difficult getting together especially with me not driving at the mo. I saw that my ex-husband contacted you. Has he hassled you since? x”
Tim - “No lol”
Me - “Good! Thanks for saying what you did. x”
Tim - “That’s ok.”
Soon after that tennis match of messages, Drew arrived to take me out to the cinema. We went to see the new Disney film, Enchanted, I didn’t think that he would be into that sort of film, but he seemed to enjoy it. Either that or he made out he did to impress me! Whilst we were in the cinema he had his hand on my leg slowly stroking me when I stretched my leg out. As I did this there was an almighty “Twang” noise and he jumped a mile! I had never seen his hand move away so fast (not even when we thought mum was going to walk in!). I was creased up with laughter as I tried to explain (quietly) that my skirt had caught on the cage, but that I was fine and didn’t feel it. It took a while for me to stop laughing, I seem to have a slight problem whereas if I start laughing at something, I generally don’t stop!
When we got home Drew came in and we sat in the lounge having a drink and chatting. Mum came downstairs to greet us and asked if I wanted anything to eat. All I said was “Not at the moment, but I might have a nibble on something in a while.” She obviously took this the wrong way and rushed back upstairs saying that she would leave us to it! It’s no wonder I have a filthy mind!!!
Drew said that he was going over to Jennie and Lou’s house tomorrow, so I made the most of the opportunity and asked him to play Santa and deliver their gifts for me. He was fine with that and left with a box full of Christmas presents.
I have now fathomed out my wages cock-up. A couple of months ago before my second operation, my regional manager had authorised me to go back to work for three weeks part time, however so that I could get paid, they had to reduce my contracted hours. It would appear that they have not raised my hours back to full time meaning that I am very much out of pocket. In order to get this corrected I have to ring the HR guy and payroll. Bloody typical that it has happened at this time of year, when Head Office shuts down for just over a week! Bah Humbug!!!
Much later, in the small hours of morning, Drew began texting me and we had text sex which cheered me up. Pity that mum was only in the next room, I couldn’t go all out with it!

Another Phone Call from the ex

I have unfortunately had anther phone call from Dale today. As per my usual procedure, I let the voicemail answer the call and soon listened to the message. This time apparently “Jonathon is wanting his car-seat back, as you know the other one got burnt along with my car.”
I text Barry asking him if he could come over and collect it for me and didn’t hear back.

Much later on...

I am furious! I emailed Drew the letter I had written him in the middle of the night as a nice gesture to make him feel a bit better as he was having a bad day. He ended up trying to argue because I had called him lovely and sweet and had complimented him throughout. I had half expected this reaction and soon gave up trying to convince him, I knew the truth... He was lovely and very sweet no matter what he says!
I mentioned to him in one email that I may go out for a hobble up to the local post box and he tried to crack a joke, “Don’t fall down any manholes!” I instantly replied with a line of question marks, I wanted to see if he would know that he had done wrong and if he was able to pick out where he had gone wrong. I then swapped the crisps I had been munching for a fag.
I cannot stand it when people make skinny jokes aimed at me. Especially by people I hold close to my heart. Thankfully he emailed me pretty quick to apologise and it was for the right reason too thank God! I apologised back to him as well for being so snappy about it and went on to explain my severe sense of humour failure. I had been battling with weight problems all my life and when I went into hospital earlier in the year I came out with an eatting disorder.
We soon forgave each other and all was well again. By the way, I still haven’t heard from Paul at Sugar Daddy, doubt I ever will either to be honest!

A Quick Run-down of Past Relationships

Jim - When I was 13 I thought I was really grown up for having a boyfriend. I soon finished it with him when an innocent game of Monopoly nearly turned into a rape. The rumours soon got around my high school that he had raped me, when this was not the case. He just took things too far for me.
Brad - Again a high school romance. I think I was 15 at the time and starting to want a slightly physical relationship (kissing and maybe the odd fumble) by then. I finished it with him because he was too frigid and didn’t appear to want to be seen with me. After all this time, we now talk on line and are friends.
PC - We always had an on-off relationship through high school between the ages of 14 and 19/20. He ended up stalking me and used to travel 2 hours just to sit outside of my house. Nice. Strangely enough I don’t hear from him anymore!
Will - A local druggy who I thought I could change and help. I always had a soft spot for him as I knew that deep down that he was a softy. I couldn’t have been more naive even if I tried. I later found out that he had been drugging me and it was down to him that I became a heroin addict for a couple of months when I was 17.
Callum - My best friends very much married god father! Yes I really do attract them all and no it couldn’t be any more complicated! We ended up flirting (alot) and met up a couple of times, but we have never and will never have sex. I am very proud of myself about that, could have gotten very, very messy.
He is a lovely, bubbly guy though and a really good laugh to be around. He still fancies me, but we stopped texting each other when I got married. “It’s for the best etc.”
Tim - A guy I had a brief fling with from Bristol. He always expected me to travel the hour and a half journey to see him but never seemed willing to return the favour. He would use the excuse of not having enough money, however I could see his wages (through the means of work) and could see that it was not the case at all. He used to work in the Bristol store and each time I did a store visit or attended a meeting there since our break up, he would ignore me completely.
Kieron - A middle aged welsh shop fitter. He was doing up the store over the road from where I was working at the time and finally managed to convince me to go for a drink with him on his last night in town. I gave him my number and we flirted for quite a few weeks. I soon agreed to travel up north and spend a weekend with him, which is where I found out that he had a girlfriend and 2 young children back in Wales. Following that weekend I didn’t hear from him. Arsehole.
Dale - Met him online. Moved in with him three or four months later, got engaged seven months after meeting and was married one year and one month after meeting. Too fast, big mistake!
Found out he was smoking dope and he became a complete bastard and treated me and Jonathon like shit. I am now terrified of bumping into him on the street either on my own or with another man.
Drew - Well what can I say? He is the one I am currently in a tiz about! The only downside to him (so far) is his size and the fact he still lives with his ex. Other than that he treats me like a princess and is so lovely!

Shit. I’m in love. I promised myself when I left my husband that I would stay single until the divorce was finalised for two reasons, one so he couldn’t divorce my ass for adultery and two, so I would have time to sort my head out. But as usual, I rush into things! Why can’t my life just be simple for 5 minutes? I mean seriously, why did Drew have to come along and make me feel like this now?!
I have only just realised my true feelings by the fact that I can’t stop thinking about him and now I can’t even sleep for the same reason! I have even just written him a letter rambling on about how amazing he really is.
I so wanted to actually live the single life, just for a while anyway, I never used to make the most of being single. I have never gotten glammed up and pulled a bloke in a club, that’s the one thing I wanted to do before “settling down” again, to have a proper one night stand. I had a sort-of one night stand a couple of years ago in Bristol…
I went up to the city for one of my monthly business meetings and went to the local pub after with one of the girls I had hitched a ride with. Whilst there we bumped into a couple of guys from the Bristol store. Kate knew them as she had spent a couple of weeks working in their store not long before, she introduced me to Tim and Mark. We were all getting along great and mostly chatting about work. I went off to go to the loos and on the way back downstairs I bumped into Tim. He said that he really liked me and would love to exchange numbers. Me being me (and extremely flattered) happily handed my phone number over when he started to kiss me passionately. He pushed me up against the wall in the stairwell and continued to kiss me whilst slipping his hand under my shirt. After our little fumble, I made my excuses and headed back to rejoin the others sat in the bar. Both Kate and Mark were completely oblivious to what I just encountered in the stairwell. When Tim reappeared, he kept on stroking my leg under the table and sending me messages saying “That was great” and “I can’t wait to see more of you”. I struggled to keep a straight face, but knew that I had to. Relationships within the company were a big no-no and we could both lose or jobs for it!
After our brief meeting, Tim and I text each other everyday. He soon asked me to come back up to Bristol so we could get to know each other better. I managed to convince my housemate and her boyfriend to drive me up there as I hate city driving. So, two weeks after meeting I found myself back in a big city with a practical stranger. We had a lift from the city centre back to his flat (which he shared with a woman from the store) and he led me upstairs into his room. I was a little disappointed to say the least! It was tiny, he didn’t even have a bed as such, more a mattress shoved on the floor which touched 3 of the walls!
At this point I must admit to you, dear reader, I was still a virgin. All right, stop laughing! I also told him at the same point. I was gutted that I would be losing my virginity in a disgusting little bed sit in Bristol! But stupidly I didn’t let that horrifying thought stop me from doing the deed! I won’t go into details on this occasion, but lets just put it this way... It was an embarrassing disaster.
On the way back home, my housemate worked out that Tim and I had know each other physically (not on the phone) for no more than 20 minutes before he got me into bed! Oh the shame.
After that night we only ever saw each other through work and it turned into a very bizarre relationship whereas he expected me to travel an hour and a half to see him, yet he was not willing to return the favour. I soon called it quits after he ignored me at the works Christmas party. Bastard.

Sugar Daddies

Every-so-often when I get really bored, I will check a few dating sites. It was whilst I was doing this that I stumbled across a site called Sugar Daddy. To tell the truth I was looking up escort agencies to see if I could “make it” with my very average looks, it would appear that I could. Sugar Daddy just appeared as a pop up advert requesting rich men and “premier” women to sign up for their unique dating site.
I loaded up the web page, intrigued by what it could offer, in my eyes it was almost a step towards escorting, these guys would probably pay for almost anything. The way my mind was working, I could get paid for doing something I love and happen to currently be obsessed with! Surprisingly no ones profiles exactly jumped out at me, however I wanted a good time and some money fast! I made up my own profile with the site and I made sure it was a good one! I made the most of it being online and went 100% slutty!
Later in the day I received two emails, both from older men. One was in his late thirties and lived in London, he was requesting that I was to travel up to London and have a discreet relationship with him. I was a little frustrated as I believe that if it wasn’t for my current post-op status, he would have happily paid a nice sum to have an accessory to his marriage. I believed that my current status would be a major turn off to any man at present, therefore I didn’t reply to his email.
The other was from a near fifty year old called Paul and obviously had plenty of money (most of his photos were taken onboard a yaught). He seemed a really nice guy and we were flirting for the majority of the afternoon. He later offered to take me to a hotel in a rural town near London. This hotel was 5 star and even had private hot tubs on selected balconies!
I was over the moon, someone who had actually seen my photo wanted to whisk me away for a dirty weekend in a 5 star hotel!!! That was when I decided I probably ought to tell him about my recent surgery. He said that he was fine with it and that we would just have to avoid the hot tub! Somehow I didn’t quite believe him and haven’t heard from him since. Strange that.

Mischievious Pussy

The cat has just caught me masturbating, when I say caught I mean in the literal sense of the word! I thought she was curled up on the end of my bed, but no, she was watching every slight movement and pelvic thrust and soon pounced on my hand through the duvet! That soon put an end to that spot of fun eh?! Please, no jokes about troublesome pussies.
She has now ventured downstairs and I can hear her frantically scrabbling at the kitchen door. Bloody cat.

Yesterday I was feeling rather energetic and managed to relieve some of my OCD and I finally cleaned the kitchen! I felt so much better after, I cannot begin to tell you how good it felt! I could relax and happily lounge around in bed knowing that downstairs was sparkling. Sad I know!
Later on in the afternoon, mum came home to take me out to the local hospital for my weekly torture (sorry, physiotherapy) session. We turned into the road leading to the hospital to be greeted by a tail back of traffic going up to the car park. Bugger! I suddenly remembered mum has a friend who lives nearby and is always saying to park on his drive, worth a try I said! We pulled up outside his house and mum rang him to make sure it was OK, which it was of course! We hobbled down the road to the physiotherapy department (mum has a sympathy limp). We both walked in sniggering about the looks I was getting. It is as though people are desperately trying not to look, yet they are still trying to sneak a look at my leg. They don’t seem to realise that they may as well be staring at my leg on their hands and knees with a great big sign stuck to their foreheads saying “I’m looking at your leg.”
When we went in, the physiotherapist made me do some exercises using the fitness ball. I had to lay on my back (wouldn’t have minded being in this position so much if she was better looking) and roll the ball around with my feet. I would have much rather had balls in-between my legs right now (what?! It’s been a while!), then she suggested the bike! Mum and I looked at each other both looking vaguely amused by this suggestion. I just about managed to hop onto the bike and had to cycle extremely bow legged! I was only on level one but it felt really difficult all the same! By the end of my session, I was ready for a long hot bath and bed.

I woke up to my phone ringing, I glimpsed at the name on screen... Dale Forth, my soon to be ex husband. I instantly pressed the silence button and let the voicemail pick up the call.
I can’t be doing with the hassle and harassment from him, not today. For today is the second anniversary for my first miscarriage, it was only back then that I realised that I do want children of my own and last year I had a second miscarriage, somewhat dashing my hopes of ever becoming a mother.
I listened to the voicemail immediately after he hung up and it was as follows...
Dale (very aggressive tone) - “Will you stop removing my friends from Face Book, it’s very childish”
After listening to this I soon became angry, annoyed, confused and quite frankly pissed off. Whenever I view his account, I am there purely as a spectator. I only read what he has been writing and have never ever done anything nor will I ever do anything to the account. I know that if I was ever to do anything on his account it would blow my cover and put me in a very tight spot indeed. He doesn’t even know that I am aware of his login details, well not for sure anyway. If he had any sense, he would change his password as he had advised me to do the same when he was snooping on my e-mails. Anyhow, why would I want to remove his friends? What’s the point? And he thinks I’m childish?! Perhaps he ought to take a look in the mirror!
It then dawned on me, perhaps he was referring to my friends and work colleagues. Within the first couple of months of splitting up I had noticed that he was adding all of my friends and work colleagues to his account (including one of my ex's). I had e-mailed all of them warning them all that he was my husband (in case they thought it was someone else) and made them all aware that we had split up and he was a little bitter. I also included on the e-mail to them all that Dale was trying to spread shit about me and generally make my life hell. They all responded very well and immediately removed him from their lists. But he can’t blame me for that, it was other people doing it, not me personally! There is no way that I have physically done that myself. Could that be what he meant?
Soon after the call I logged onto his account to have a look for myself. I wanted to try to get to the bottom of the call. I immediately saw something that made my blood boil. Hubby had changed his status to “I am annoyed that Skelly the Guy has removed my friends from Face Book... Wot a sad act she is.”
Skelly was a nickname that the Goth’s used to call me, mostly referring to my skinny, skeletal frame. Never a good thing having the name Kelly, the only words that rhyme are horrible! Dale always knew that this name upset me and would always stand up for me whenever they said it. Now obviously the tables have turned and he is using it as the latest ammunition against me.
I hate the way he is making up these pathetic lies about me, especially online where thousands, no millions of people can read it including all of our friends. I am just extremely lucky that the vast majority of our friends know that I am not like that and are sticking by me throughout this.
I checked his “recently added friends” to see whether he had re-added the friends I was supposed to of removed yet. The only additional one was Karen, who he had blocked and removed himself a couple of weeks ago.
I took a peek at his inbox as I wanted to see if he had e-mailed them, which it turns out he had. There were two sent messages to a couple of young girls we go to church with. Both e-mails said the exact same thing, “Hi, I have seen that you have removed me as a friend. Have I done something to upset you? Please let me know.”
These girls are no more than 16 years old. I remember the last time Richard came over, he mentioned that he had noticed Dale had added a few of the younger girls from church as his friends on Face Book which he was slightly concerned about. Barry had said the exact same thing to me just a few weeks before. Rich had told me that he was worried that Dale would “prey” on the younger generations as I was half his age and was clearly what he preferred sexually.
Dale has still not received a reply from either of the girls and I seriously doubt he will if Richard has spoken to them and that could possibly be the reason they have removed him.

I hadn’t heard from Lou all day, so I rang him at quarter past 6 as I knew that he would just be finishing at work and away from prying ears. He said that he was just locking up the site and would go home and clean up, then leave to come and get me.
At half 7 my phone rang. It was Lou, “You won’t believe this, I got home to find Jennie stood on the drive waiting for me with her car keys in her hand, then she just went off saying she had to go over to fix her grandfathers TV! Which means I am now stuck at home with the kids.” He started to ramble on about something else but I could barely hear him due to a bad connection. He said that Jennie should only be 15 minutes and if she was he would be straight over.
This was just typical of Lou, unreliable as ever. This is one of the reasons I cannot see us having a proper relationship. He’s damn useful when he’s here though, and I must say, he is the best I have ever had by far!

Don’t you just hate it when the man in a relationship always wants you to make the decisions? I know that I do, with a passion in fact.
This evening Drew rang me to say that he had his final exam on Saturday morning and on his way back home (from college in the midlands) he would stop in and spend the afternoon with me. However, I had to decide what we were going to be doing for the afternoon. Obviously I objected to this comment, but he was having none of it. I had to decide and that was that.
I later sent him a message saying “I am really not worried about where we go. I have nowhere in particular in mind”
Drew - “You can decide sweetheart... Sure you will think of somewhere! If not I am happy to be anywhere with you.”
Me - “I used to go to a pub in Trent, haven’t been there since it changed hands though. I can show you where I grew up.”
Drew - “Yeah if that’s what you fancy sweetheart. At last a woman who has made a decision! Miracle!”
Me - “Shut up! You have to promise me that you will decide where we go next time.”
Drew - “No”
Me - “Yes. Either that or you have to admit that you are sweet and lovely!!!”
Drew - “I’ll think about the place for next time... think about it only! Doctor’s orders! Doctor thinks you need a thorough examination.”
Me - “No. That was not one of the options! You will decide where we are going next time!”
Drew - “I know where I want to go next time.......!
Me - “Let me guess... Bed?!”
Drew - “Doesn’t have to be in bed... just in you! ;-)”

Just then Lou started to text me. He was laid in bed so that he could escape the pointless bickering between him and Jennie. He was having a play (why else would he text me!). I was determined not to respond to his requests, I had gone for a few weeks without hearing from him, so why should I need to start now? But as always, I soon gave into temptation. He had supposedly sent me a picture message and was desperately trying to get me to send him one back. I refused to give in until I had received his, for all I knew it could have been Jennie texting me trying to catch us out.
Only then did I start the flirting. I know that I shouldn’t encourage him, he is married to one of my friends after all, but I just can’t help myself. We agreed later that he would come over tomorrow and we would go some where in the car to continue our physical friendship, our reason would be late night Christmas shopping; this is what we were “supposed” to be doing tonight, however I am still not feeling quite right.

3am bug

Just woken up with a really weird feeling in my stomach. I felt sick if I was laid down but felt as if I really needed the toilet when I sat up. I sat still fanning myself for 5 minutes. Then I heard the toilet flush and out came mum, she was in the same boat. It must have been something we had eatten for tea as neither of us felt too great.
Mum decided then that she wasn’t going to go to work the next day and I don’t blame her. I was supposed to be meeting Lou the following evening (Thursday) for a little light exercise in his car. But did not feel up to having a big muscular man pounding down on my stomach with his full body weight... Just in case! I decided I would text him at a more reasonable hour and when he would be at work in case Jennie saw the message.