I have had one of my usual insomniac nights and managed to get a measly 2 hours sleep last night. Typical seeing as how I had a busy day planned at Bristol hospital (nearly 2 hours away from home) and due to this I did not want to have to take a sleeping tablet. The tablets I have been given to help me catch a few z’s can often have a hangover effect the following day.
I made the most of being awake all hours and managed to catch up on this journal big style. I had the cat trying to assist me by happily walking across the laptop arching her back up until I had mouth full of black fur, yummy! Anyhow, back to the sleepy Bristol trip!
At nearly 8:30 am me and mum finally crawled out of the house both feeling exhausted, I was feeling fine to start with except for being rather tired that is! When we got about half way through the journey I started to have a hot flush then to feel queasy. I felt so bad that I made mum pull over in pub car park! Once the car had stopped I felt fine again, very bizarre. Most people grow out of travel sickness, not grow into it!
When we arrived I faced the long hop (on crutches) down a very steep hill into the hospital. As usual when I got to the clinic reception they sent me for the x-ray. I only had 2 films shot, one standing (not the most comfortable position) and one laid on my side. We went back along the long winding corridors to the frame clinic and had a lengthy hour wait, I wasn’t checking the time and could have easily been longer! I finally got ushered into a small room and told that my consultant would be along in a minute. They left the door to the doctors office open which meant I was able to be nosy and look at everyone’s x-rays as they came up on the screen. I am fascinated by the human body, so going through this experience has been incredible and a massive learning curve for me.
Every Wednesday the hospital's physiotherapy department holds a frame class. This is basically a big gym session for all of the frame patients like me. It’s really good to meet up with other people in the same situation as yourself, you can get some great advise from the people who have had the frame on for longer and just have a general chin wag! I was too tired today and had already decided against staying on for the class. One of the other frame patients poked his head into the room whilst I was waiting for the consultant. I had met him several times before and got on really well with him. He asked me if I was going to the class later in the day and was surprised when I said no. Both he and my mum were sat there trying to convince me and he suddenly turned and walked out of the room saying “see you down there”. I shouted “We’ll see” at his disappearing back.
When the consultant finally came in to see me, he had a quick look at my leg and the position my foot was now in and said it was looking good. He asked me if I was happy with the positioning which I was, then he ran off to get me “some homework”. Both me and mum looked at each other feeling rather confused. When he returned he had printed out another sheet of adjustments to be made on the frame. My heart sunk, I thought that part was all over but obviously not.

I have just been passing the time this morning by doing my favourite puzzles... Sudoku! I am completely addicted with them and could quite happily spend all day sat there completing page after page! I did my usual snoop on the internet, obviously checking my own e-mail and Face Book accounts first and then doing the sneaky checking of Dale’s accounts. On his e-mail, he has tried to e-mail a woman near London whom he had become close to (online only) not so long ago. He then sent her a message saying “I have prayed long and hard about this and God says shouldn’t talk to you anymore”!!! This was all because she was into a form of healing called reiki which Dale is completely against. Today's message to her was along the lines of “Don’t be cry baby and talk to me, even if it is spouting evil obscenities towards me” He is a very, very strange man.
When I saw his Face Book account, I became rather concerned. You have a status message at the top which people fill out with a brief message of how they are feeling, and Dale’s read “I am feeling annoyed that someone has set light to my car”. I remembered immediately a conversation we had a couple of months before I left him, in which he was saying how he wanted to take his (rubbish) car to a deserted lane and torch it to make an insurance claim as he needed the money. It took a great deal of arguing before he would see my side, however he was still convinced that was the right thing to do and that there was no wrong in doing it. Please remember this is a man who at the time was training to become a minister in the church! I scrolled further down the page to see a message from a good friend of ours saying “Sorry to hear about your car mate, any idea who it was?”. Dale’s response “It could be the neighbours we used to have problems with or Kelly might have put her new boyfriend up to it”
Seeing this message absolutely infuriated me, so I called my mum (who else?!) for some advise, she just said there was probably nothing we could do about it and to steer well clear until he says any other slanderous comments. As soon as I hung up from our conversation, my old minister (Richard) from Taunton phoned me and asked if I wanted a visitor. He didn’t even need to ask! I desperately wanted to see a friendly face from the town I called home, and someone who could possibly shed some light on the latest of the Dale situation.
After agreeing to the visit, I called Phillis and explained to her my dilemma about the car torching incident. She said that it does sound suspicious, however, she didn’t believe he would have done it himself as it was right outside of the flat, but there was always the possibility of him having become someone else to do it. Phillis even said, of course he was going to put the blame onto me, he was still very much deluded and he was believing the stories he himself was making up! She said that she would check with her husband (also a good friend of both me and Dale and the person he made the comments to) and find out when they can pop over to see me as she wants to catch up properly.
Rich turned up about half an hour later and we sat down to a cup of tea (what else do you offer a man of the church, eh?!). He said that the car was suspicious, however I should try to forget as there was nothing I could do. He also confirmed a lot that Phillis had said on the phone, including the fact that Richard had told Dale he was no longer allowed to do any testimonies within the church due to his current state of mind. Me and Richard swapped stories of Dalefor nearly two hours when he dropped a bomb shell on me...
I asked how my soon to be ex-stepson was doing and Rich looked over at me and said not too good. The other night he paid Dale and Jonathon a visit and my stepson was just going to bed. He obviously knew that Richard was there to talk about me and suddenly piped up “When’s Kelly coming home?” and Dale snapped back “She’s not, she doesn’t love nor care for you, go to bed”. Obviously he didn’t settle and soon got back up complaining he couldn’t sleep and made Dale read him a story. As soon as he was back in the room with Richard, Rich told him off for saying what he did to the kid. Richard also said to him that he needs to get his facts straight before saying anything like that, because that was one thing he was certain off, that I did love and care for the kid more than anything.
Richard also mentioned to me that when he got to the flat the gas fire was on full blast with the lounge window wide open! Apparently Dale’s reason was that the Doctor had said that Jonathon needs constant fresh air to help his asthma. The kid didn’t have asthma, I know this because we had taken him to the Doctor’s at the beginning of the year to investigate a cough that he had, but the Doc said it definitely was not asthma. After I had said all of this to Rich, he said he believed the window was open to clear the air of the smell, however Dale didn’t appear stoned at all. I explained to him that Dale hides it very, very well indeed. I used to hang around with people who smoked it, I had even had quite a few spliffs myself so i knew the signs inside and out, but with Dale, you often had to be stood within a foot of him, able to look deep inside his eyes before you could tell, he was very clever with hiding his tracks.
Later in the day, when mum returned home, I got rather snappy with her as my emotions had finally caught up with me. I hate to cry in front of people (even family) as it shows that you are weak, and I was only just able to stop the tears from flowing. I later apologised and explained everything that had been happening during the day. We watched a very silly kids film (I swear it’s aimed at adults though!) to try and cheer me up.
Drew text me as usual and I was a bit off with him, I really must have been down as he can always manage to cheer me up. He even suggested that he was to back off to give me some space to sort my head out and so that my ex wouldn’t have anything to find out, but only if I wanted. I replied that I definitely didn’t want him to back off, I enjoy his company and although I had always said I didn’t want anything serious, it’s headed that way. I also told him the only thing that was going to cheer me up today was a big cuddle from him. He then called me soppy.
I think at the moment I just need to get away. I hate being cooped up for too long in the same place with the same people, I need a break from it (with a nice man I reckon) to freshen up.

Extra Curricular - work relations

Somehow I have managed to get myself into another fine mess. I will give you a brief run down of the history. I have many links throughout the South West due to my position within the company I work for. This includes one of the major cities, Plymouth, where I have worked on many occasions in the past to save the manager’s backside from the sack. I have never been particularly friendly with the staff whilst being in their store, however I do know them all very well indeed.
Since my operation I have become rather well known across the social networking site “Face book” with all of my friends and colleagues past and present. On there I have found many of my co-workers across the South West including an ex-Sales Manager from Plymouth (Declan) whose conversation never went past “all right”. Not even a question, just a mere phrase.
For the past couple of weeks Declan has been messaging me on Face Book, just making small talk to pass the time, however today it went to a whole other level. I had previously noticed on his account that he was seeing a girl who used to work with him within the sales team, so I have always tried to keep my distance from him slightly. As I said to him one day “She could take me out with one glare, let alone if she was to take a swipe at me!”
So it took me by surprise when his flirting got a lot stronger. He was asking me how I had been over the past week (as we hadn’t spoken for a while) so I told him that I had been bored as usual but still managing to keep myself pleased at the same time. We both share the same level of dirty mind, although I had honestly meant for that comment to be innocent! I have to admit, it did make me chuckle (partially from surprise) when he replied “Really, do tell.”
Me - “Dirty boy, wanting to know all of the details! I have many toys to play with, what do you expect me to do when I am laid in bed all day long?!”
Dec - “Very nice. And me dirty? Never! Your the one who appears to be filthy, speaking of which, what is the filthiest thing you have ever done?”
Me - “The filthiest thing? There have been many moments for me, but I think the filthiest time has to be having a threesome followed by a foursome the next weekend. And your filthiest moment?”
Dec - “Nothing on that level! Mine has to be sleeping with 3 women all on the same night. I showered in between of course!”
Me - “Glad to see you believe in hygiene!”
Later in the same conversation, the topic moved onto photography and whether I had ever been photographed or filmed. I explained that I had been filmed whilst with an ex-boyfriend, but he still had the video, although he had probably sold it to some sleazy amateur porn production company by now. I also went on to say how I had been photographed many times, both tastefully (by other people) and not so when done myself for certain people! I said how I had wanted to do a professional nude shoot for my hubby but he wouldn’t let me. When I find the right person I would absolutely love to do a professional photo shoot, all very tasteful poses of course, and give the final product as a special gift to that person. Declan asked if he would ever see any of these pictures and I said only if he played his cards right. I was feeling rather playful by this time and the way that we had been talking so openly with each other for the past few weeks I was up for a laugh.
I was flicking through all of the x-rated pictures on my phone (kept in a separate folder to make the searching easier - not that I do this regularly mind!) when it became obvious he was getting impatient and sent me another message.
Dec - “I take it your looking for some?”
Me - “Just having a look at what would get you going... I think you are the sort of guy that would want the direct approach. Or would you prefer subtle to start with? I take it your GF is not going to walk in? I would expect something in return... just as pornographic perhaps?
Dec - “Direct is good, subtle to ;-) I have half hour to kill. I’ll see what I can make.”
Me - “ I can not believe I am about to send this to you! What’s your number?”
I managed to find a very teasing photo of me with a vibrator all the way inside, beginning to get rather wet. I sent it to his number in the hope that you couldn’t recognise me.
Dec - “Getting hard already!”
Me - “I take it you got it?! Just make sure they go no further ok?”
I sent him a couple more, showing the true extent of my filth (whilst solo that is!), one with just my hand and the final one was showing the result when I was dripping wet. He sent me one of his cock, I could tell he had only just taken the picture as you could see the keyboard next to his wanking hand. I have to say I was impressed and pretty much surprised, I never expected him to have such a good sized package. I messaged him to give him some encouragement and said I was pleased with the size. That is something I have learnt, always tell the man that his package is a nice size even if it’s not. It gives them more confidence and they will give you so much more passion when they are on an ego trip.
Dec - ”and it gets bigger...”
Me - “You are a tease! I had better have some company in my hotel next time I am in Plymouth?”
Dec - “We’ll see ;-)” “When are you back to work?”
Me - “Probably January when the cage has come off, unless they were to send me to work in your store as it’s the only disabled friendly store!”
Dec - “Me and you working together... Hmmm, too many dirty thoughts!”
Me - “lol! Would you be able to keep your hands to yourself?!”
Dec - ”You could always sit on them?”
Me - “there’s a thought! My hand’s very wet now, I will just have to suck it dry”
Dec - “Tease! I gotta go hun”
I swear I will never be able to look at him in the same light! Let alone with a straight face, and if I ever had to d a store visit when I have to be highly professional and strict?! Oh God, what have I done.