Birthday treats...

There had been a big build up to this day, my birthday. Everybody who knew Tony seemed to know what he had gotten me and it sounded as if it was going to be a big deal, so when the day came I tried (and failed) to contain my excitement!

First he woke me up with quite possibly the best sex ever; There’s something about morning sex, gets me excited just thinking of that feeling of him just starting to slip in… Hmmm. Any way, after the morning horizontal tango he presented the first gift of the day, a Coldplay CD. He is very musically minded and wants to “teach” me the ways and all that jazz.

Throughout the day he gave me more gifts which happened to make up the entire back catalogue for Coldplay. Nice touch I though. We went to the beach and walked along the shore hand in hand as if nothing else in the world mattered, it was just us on our own strolling along in our own little world.

Once back home he got out an envelope. It was a standard white self sealed envelope, like you would receive in the mail containing a letter from an office somewhere. I sat trying to rack my brains of the past few days, what could be in that little envelope? I felt it very carefully… there was no ring inside (lucky seeing as the divorce isn’t over yet), the paper inside felt sturdy, not quite card, but a high quality thick paper.

I couldn’t hold back any longer and ripped along the seal. I caught a glimpse of a metallic purple flash and felt even more compelled to rip open the envelope like an over excited child at Christmas. It was my birthday, I’m allowed right? So I figured it was ok and started shredding the envelope with Tony looking on with an excited glint in his eye. I pulled out the small piece of thick paper and saw “Voucher” straight away with an image of the Angel of the North. I felt confused, I didn’t realise you had to pay to go to see that! - You don’t by the way.

He told me to read the voucher very carefully and as I read I had glimmers of my own life throughout the suggestions on the back of the voucher. “A trip to Nine Springs, Ham Hill, football stadiums, National parks, Safari parks, art galleries” and the list continued, all picked out carefully to match my life and things we had done together and enjoyed. He then explained that he wrote everything himself and gave it to a friend who is a graphic designer and she was able to create this simple, unique gift. I have never received such a thoughtful present, and yes, I have to admit, it brought a tear to my eye and I collapsed into his arms crying with happiness. What have I done to deserve such a fabulous guy?

Am still alive!

Thought I ought to say I am still alive, just a little too busy to post anything lately! I shall give a very quick and brief run down...
Work - Hectic as always
Man - Fantastic! Already seem very "couply"
Work - still hectic
Money - Brassic!
Work - hectic (you get the drift... I have been working ALOT)
Degree - On hold! My assignment is now coming up to being a month late. Bollocks.
Writing - Have written an article for Scarlett (women's version of Nuts/FHM but better!) which is strongly based around the threesome with Lou and Jen. Will possibly be published within the next couple of months! Woohoo!
Awards results - Got into the top 10 for a category in "The Best of Blogs" awards. But didn't win.
Been going out pretty much every weekend, so am currently contstantly knackered!
Hair - Gone blonde! (ish) Should be champagne blonde, but just looks more in between ginger and blonde (I am naturally a brunette) in the sun it is blonde. I figured it was about time my hair matched my personality/ditzyness. Tony was worried that I would start to act blonde... Hmmm, he obviously doesn't know me that well yet!
More to come when I get a chance to type it up!

Stuck in a rut...

DOM phoned me today to say that none of the administrators were being offered an interview for the promotion. I apparently don’t have any management experience, despite having been an assistant manager and regional administrator! The only way to gain “field management” experience would be to go into our audit department, otherwise known as the most tedious and monotonous job in the world!
This means that if I want to gain a promotion I either need to move to Plymouth (an hour and a half away) and become Operations Manager or go into audit. Neither of which appeal in the slightest. In the Plymouth store, everyone has their own “clicky” groups, and not only that the other two administrators hate me. One of them was demoted after I had done a disastrous store visit last year and even now she is quite possible the laziest administrator I have ever met. The other doesn’t hate me, yet… but I am sure if I was to get the position above her it wouldn’t take too long for her to start! I also don’t particularly want to have to move down there as I have literally just gotten my feet back on the ground and love my house and housemate! Not only that, but it is so cheap, it’s perfect!
I also wouldn’t want to take the audit job as it would be such a lonely position, everyone is terrified of auditors and steers well clear of them when they turn up in store. I prefer being able to make friends within stores and to be able to make decent conversation and have a laugh with them. I’m not so sure that I would be able to check the exact same things day in day out.
Oh well, the right thing will come along eventually. There is also my degree to fall back on (once I have completed it that is!)

Another hectic day followed by a rather unexpected date!

What a busy day! I have been non-stop all day and am shattered. For some stupid reason I woke up at 7 this morning, this is despite being woken up by mysterious voices on the landing a half two this morning. I didn’t recognize any of the voices but there were at least four people.
So at seven I was laid in bed and could hear the mystery people on the landing again. There were 2 guys and 2 girls from what I could make out, but I still hadn’t heard my housemate so I presumed she was in bed (and she was). I got up an hour later and got into the shower so that I would be reasonable to meet the mystery guests, however just as I was getting out of the shower I bumped into my housemates best friend on the landing who explained who had been staying over. She then dashed out of the door as these people were waiting for her in the car.
I ventured downstairs and soon wished I had stayed in bed… the kitchen was a mess! I found my last banana still partially in it’s skin, mashed into the leather sofa (thank God it’s wipe clean!) and there were numerous mugs and glasses scattered throughout the ground floor. I decided, as I was so awake and surprisingly refreshed, to tackle the kitchen as I figured my house mate would most likely be suffering this morning.
Once that was done, I went out into town and popped into work to send out an email. My manager took me into the back yard to show me what they had done in the morning brief. Dan is well known for being on the chubby side and he enjoys his food, a lot. So this morning, using the giant boxes from a delivery they created Dave’s lunch box and his English breakfast. It was all expertly drawn out including the oversized cutlery! I couldn’t stop laughing and realised that my car park ticket would run out soon and I still had lots to do.
I managed to get my tent for the festival I am going to later in the year (I had also arranged to go camping on the next bank holiday so had to get it sooner rather than later!). I got myself a 3 man tent with a porch, nice and spacious! I then went off to the “cheap” opticians round the corner armed with my prescription and NHS voucher to try to find some sunglasses. Nearly an hour later, I finally settled on a pair and quickly put the payment of £105 down before I changed my mind again and hurried out of the door almost able to hear my bank balance screaming at me.
I then ventured to the local Asda. I usually go to Morrisons, but decided as I am trying to save as much money as possible I ought to go to the “cheaper” supermarket. It did not work out cheaper. I ended up spending an extra £20 on my weekly food shop! I still haven’t worked out how yet!
When I got back home, I went out to help my housemate weed the garden. We have a 10 foot square mud patch which we were going to have seeded ready for the summer so that we can have a bit of grass to brighten the garden up. We were out there for nearly four hours and by the end of it my back started to itch. I knew what that meant, I had burnt my back. It was brighter than a tomato! But was in a perfect square from my vest top, it wasn’t the other side of the straps, just this perfect square of red!
Whilst I was eating my lunch, Mo noticed that she had a voicemail on her phone from her clinically depressed friend. She instantly worried as he never calls her and not only that, but he had a relapse recently. She phoned him back immediately and started asking him if he was ok and then I could hear her saying “I think so, yeah I will tell her, I reckon she would be ok with it.” I just presumed they were talking about one of their friends, but no, it turned out it was me!
He had seen me in some of Mo’s photos online and thought I looked nice and was enquiring as to whether I was single and what I was like as a person. It made my day, I actually had a single man that was interested in me! Mo gave me his number and I text him saying “Hi, how you doing? Mo said that you saw my photo on Face Book and were interested. Kel x”
He soon replied saying that he was ok and did I want to go out for a drink on Monday, I figured Monday would be bad as there is practically no one that would be out and could possible be really awkward on a blind date, so I suggested tonight. He was also free so we arranged it, we would have a blind date tonight at 8pm, he would come to mine and we would walk into town and go to a bar I know.
I jumped into the shower and started to wonder what to wear, my housemate was out, so I was completely alone on the fashion front! I attempted to curl my hair so I could be different for once, but as usual my hair was being stubborn, so it ended up being wavy.
He arrived on time and phoned me on the house phone to double check which house it was as they all look the same along my road! We walked into town and went into the bar I knew would be quiet and easy to talk in. It is also possibly the only bar in town which has some class and sophistication!
When I walked through the door and approached the bar my stomach flipped, two of Mo’s friends were sat at the bar and Craig pipes up “Hiya, so is this your other half?” “Not yet” I muttered and then went off into a quiet corner with Tony. I noticed them looking over every so often and then Mo’s boyfriend came and sat with them, so I had all 3 guys staring over constantly. How off putting!
We were getting on really well and seem to have plenty in common, we both listen to the same sort of music and are both training for the same qualification in accounting! He has even offered to help me out with the part of my course I am stuck on. Always handy to know people! Later on, when I got fed up with the staring from the guys, I suggested that we move onto a different bar, so off we went, however the only other place I knew would be “quiet” had their music pumped right up to the max! It made it rather difficult but we managed. Conversation soon turned to sport and he was amazed that I will happily sit and watch the football. After a while we headed back to my house and on the walk home he told me that he is not the sort of person who enjoys going out clubbing, which meant we had another thing in common!
I didn’t want to have to tell him about my operations as whenever I have told people that I am still recovering in the past, they suddenly treat me so differently and try to do everything for me, which at times can be nice, but not all the time! Unfortunately he was speed walking, so I had to tell him I had to take it steady with walking. It was my first time walking into town without crutches too. I told him the whole story about my legs and he looked pretty shocked and yes, at first he tried to treat me differently and every 5 minutes on the walk home he would slow down and apologise!
When we got home we bumped into my housemate and her best friend who both know Tony, so they were trying to find out from us how it went and were having a general catch up with him in the street. Once they had gone, I invited him in for a drink in the hope that he would make some kind of move on me, but no, he went and sat on the sofa opposite me. I realised that he was a little shy around new women. I paused on the doorstep when he left, almost urging him to lean forward and give me a goodnight kiss, but again his shyness got the better of him and he rushed across the road to his car. He did however, say that he had a good night and would like to meet up again.
There is hope yet!

May the best admin win!

A week ago my divisional manager (DOM) was in my store. I decided to be a little cheeky and try to find out some gossip form her. One of our regional managers had done a disappearing act a couple of weeks ago and then put up on Face Book that he had officially left the business. I found out that eh had sent his resignation direct to head office rather than informing the other regional manager and divisional managers like he was supposed to.
I then piped up and asked if there was going to be a vacancy for his job and whether I would stand a chance of getting it. She said that I certainly have the ability and was making it sound as if I would walk it. I also mentioned about being off for 9 months and only recently having returned, her response was promising, “I had only been back from maternity leave for a couple of weeks before being promoted to divisional manager.” That filled me with confidence!
I decided to stay quiet about applying for the position, partially so that I would have a better chance at getting the promotion, and also to save the embarrassment if I didn’t get it. My regional manager and store manager were the only 2 people within the company to know (and DOM of course). However, somehow Sarah (another administrator) had found out.
She phoned me this evening asking me questions which I didn’t particularly want to answer as she would have been my biggest threat for the job. She told me that a couple of senior auditors had also gone for it and that she was applying tomorrow. Great. Just what I wanted to hear.
I know that she is a great administrator, I trained her myself when she had returned from maternity leave a couple of years ago and used to work along side her back in my home town. She had also taken on most of my regional work when I went off sick. The only thing I was really worried about with being up against Sarah, is that she has the confidence. I have never known anyone who shone with confidence like she does, if she has a problem with someone or something, she won’t leave it, she will say something until it is resolved. I hate to say it, but she would be great for the job.
Now is for the waiting game, closing date for applications is close of business tomorrow, so fingers crossed it won’t be too long.

999 - Helicopter now please!

Went on a magical mystery tour… drove back to my home town to visit some of the family and decided to go across country. I knew that you turn right half way through one of the small towns so I was going slowly and looking out for the signs… I saw no sign and ended up in a completely different town and added 20 minutes to my journey rather than taking off the same amount of time.
On the way back home I came across an accident… a woman flagged me down and I could see a group of motor cyclists in the ditch (I was driving across the moors and the ditches are 5 feet full of stagnant water). I leapt out of my car and instantly slipped back into my old volunteer role of paramedic, I used to work part time on the St John’s ambulance team and attended a few RTAs (Road Traffic Accidents and yes, I know they have a different term nowadays). The guys were just pulling their friend out of the ditch and as soon as they laid him onto the road he came back to life and began thrashing violently around trying to get up. A couple of the guys tried to hold him down and the injured man began swearing and punching at them.
We just about managed to calm him enough to allow me to do the top to toe checks (checking for any obvious broken bones) which showed he had a clean break on one leg. It took a lot of persuading to stop his friends from removing his helmet which could have caused a whole heap of problems and I slowly and steadily lifted the visor to check his eyes. I instantly saw that one pupil was dilated and the other was shot to pieces, the entire coloured part of the eye was black and the white of the eye was red. I knew exactly what it was… A head trauma, and a bad one at that!
When the guys had called for an ambulance, we were told it would be between 15 and 20 minutes before it arrived at the scene, but I knew that he probably didn’t have that time to waste as when they arrive they would have to check him over, load him into the back and then there would be the drive to hospital with limited supplies. I dialled 999 and demanded the air ambulance. The woman on the phone kept on saying “I am sure he will be ok to wait for the requested ambulance”, I couldn’t believe her response! I soon launched into all the old jargon that we had to use and requested a particular helicopter which I knew used to be in the area and then she realised I was being serious. Ten minutes later, the helicopter arrived, closely followed by the ambulance. All the paramedics agreed that the local hospitals didn’t have the necessary equipment this guy needed to keep him alive and next thing we knew he was being air lifted to the main Brain Injury unit for the South West.
After all of that, the police spoke to me and said that I would need to pop into the station to give a statement (not that I even saw anything!). So off I went back home to clean myself up and try to get the smell of ditches out of my skin and hair. It was a pure coincidence that it was the right time to get to my churches evening service, so I made my way over there and had everyone pray for the guy I had helped just a few hours before.
What a day.

This week Lou and I had arranged for him to come over tonight as my housemate would be out for the night. I figured it was about time to enjoy the new house fully and not have to worry about how noisy I could/couldn’t be! Earlier this evening however Lou text me to say that he wouldn’t be able to make it over which ended up turning into a big row (all via text of course). Not my dryness… I hate text talk!
Lou - “Heya huni. Im at Gaz’s then going to Brad’s. I won’t be able 2 make it 2nite how bout tom or mon?”
Me - “Can you not forget about Brad for tonight? Its not often I get the house to myself.”
Lou - “I cnt its bits I owe him and muney, I will text you when I’ve bin to his, it would be a real quickie and I don’t like it as its much nicer not to rush”
Me - “Just be quick at his. Simple”
Lou - “Did you want me to cum over even if its literally 2 mins and a quick squirt?”
Me - “Be nice, but I deserve better than that Lou. Im sure you could stretch to at least half an hour?”
Lou - “That’s wot I mean, dnt 4get im doin 12 hours packd out”
Me - “I know, you remind everyone constantly! You coming over then?”
Lou - “Lol! Its so hard going. I really want 2, I will txt u if I can.”
Me - “So you’re still not sure?!”
Lou - “Not yet, Im still wheelin and dealin Del boy style!”
Me - “Oh dear! Well hurry up!”
Lou - “Don’t 4get its 20mins each way and im up at 630 for another mulerin! If not tonight it will be in nxt day or so”
Me - “I won’t be happy… I want to be able to scream and not worry about housemates!”
Half an hour later he was still texting me saying that he was still over with Gaz but his messages were getting even more flirtatious and horny. I was stood in the kitchen making a jacket potato when I had another message saying “It’s me.” I was rather confused as I hadn’t even heard the door, so I crept out and he scooped me up in a tight embrace and pulled me into the lounge.
We stood chatting about the day for a minute before heading upstairs to my room. I was rather relieved that my housemate had gone out for the night as I had forgotten about the overly creaky stairs. He knew that I was still frustrated with him and how I was being treated. I even made a big thing about it to his face…. That is really not normal for me so it was obvious that it had gotten to me big time. We laid in bed cuddling with him gently caressing my back telling me that no matter what happened he would be there for me.
I knew straight away that he was referring to getting me pregnant, I rolled over and whispered to him that I won’t be getting pregnant until he was single. “I may be single by the morning” and said that he would stay the night just to be with me. I have to say he certainly has the charm with the ladies!
He soon began slipping his hands in between my legs and I was instantly turned on. I went on top, despite the state of my knees! We went slow to start then sped up and kept going until I came with immense force. I felt onto of the world. “Thought you said you don’t give golden showers?” He growled as he flipped me onto my back and started to speed up going deeper and deeper. I orgasmed over and over again and couldn’t even begin to speak to tell him that it was just me coming hard that he felt! He seemed to enjoy the thought and feeling and continued to pound deep in me.
A couple hours later we were laid back cuddling together enjoying the post coital warmth between us just talking quietly. We were just saying that it was surprising how Jen hadn’t tried to call him yet when his phone started. It was 2 in the morning and we had agreed that Lou would stay at my house so that we could spend a proper night together for once. We even discussed the excuse he would use, that he had been drinking over at a friends house and fell asleep on the sofa. Shockingly she didn’t fall for it. We knew that she would be pissed off with him, come one, name me a wife who would be happy for her husband to spontaneously stay at a friends house and drink (he doesn’t usually drink much).
What we hadn’t thought of was the reaction she came out with… “Get home now.” Pure and simple, she wasn’t happy, no, she was fuming. Despite him telling her that he had drunk at least 5 cans of beer, she demanded that he get in the car and drive home. This is after all that we went through with my ex husband and his drink driving habit. He was banned from driving because of drink driving when we first met and vowed he would never do it again. Just 2 months after getting his license back he was doing it again, with kids in the car.
So at 2am, Lou skulked back home. One day we will actually be able to spend an entire night together, maybe.

Revenge is sweet... for some

Either my housemate is trying to get revenge on me for shagging too noisily the other night or she is just as filthy as I am!
When we went out Friday night, she pulled a guy… Yes he was hot! I certainly would anyway, but then again I would with most right now! Got to enjoy life to the full!
Last night she went out again whilst I stayed at home recovering from last nights antics. I went up to bed before she got home and when I went into the bathroom this morning, I noticed that the toilet seat was up, meaning she either had a guy over for the night or was sick during the night. I ended up believing the first choice.
When I returned home from church (yes, I try to be a Bible basher occasionally) she was out. She got home an hour after I did and was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get ready for something. She then disappeared for the rest of the afternoon and evening. When she returned home later that evening, I heard the front door click shut and heard a couple of voices in the hallway. Mo soon appeared in the doorway to the lounge and said “You remember Ewan from the other night?” And he sheepishly entered the room.
After chatting for five minutes, I got back to my film and they both disappeared upstairs where they have remained since.
I am now writing this laid in bed hearing her bed creaking and his balls slapping against her arse (she really needs to learn to shut her door!). I wouldn’t have minded so much if I could get some action that easily! She certainly has the looks. I have to admit though, my slightly evil side got the better of me and I couldn’t help but chuckle when I heard the cat happily wonder into her room to join them and soon retreat again!
Finally, sounds like they have finished. I really ought to get some sleep now, but feel far too frisky! Damn them! Let’s just hope they don’t go for round two! Time for me to open a fresh pack of batteries…

Exploring the new towns nightlife... Hmmm

Went out with my housemate and her friends, got drunk, tried pretty much all the town centre places. Stayed in Remedies got more drunk, met a couple guys…. 1 had big sex appeal, very nice… Mo (my housemate) pulled him.
Mo’s friends all seem ok… very two faced but ok otherwise! One of them was obviously rather drunk when I arrived and wouldn’t stop talking all night. Apparently she usually gets like that and gets all serious on you. Great fun… Not.
As always I managed to attract a fight and got kicked in the leg… right where the break is. Ouch. Left Remedies to go to the only proper nightclub which was reopening tonight… Too much pain so left the others to go in without me and hobbled/stumbled home! Taken pain killers after drinking, now feel yucky!

Oh dear, I have been a naughty girl again. Lou came over again. We sat down stairs catching up and chatting, he had been away for a week with the family and Barry and Phillis (Jen’s mum and step dad). Lou managed to get badly sunburnt on the first day, but still looked ridiculously tanned which he soon pointed out I looked blue next to him (I am naturally pale anyway!). I was not amused!
My housemate was in the shower when he arrived and was getting an early night which was a shame as Lou used to work with her years ago and wanted to see her. Her going to bed early also made it very awkward for us… It is impossible to sneak up our stairs, they creak more than an old lady trying to get out of her rocking chair!
We began to creep up the stairs and Lou ended up laughing all the way upstairs despite me trying to keep him quiet! I really don’t want to get a reputation with my housemate of being a sex mad woman who is quite happy to see a married man… Hmmm, think I’ve blown that one!
We got into my room and barricaded the door in case the cat decided to break in and spoil our fun. Unfortunately it wasn’t the cat who stopped short or night of passion… It was Lou getting far too carried away! So damn frustrating! I made it very clear to him that I wasn’t amused.

Sod's law!

Bloody typical. I have just heard that the admin manager of the Taunton store handed in her notice yesterday. Place your bets now on how long it will be until the store manager and my regional manager will take to call me and demand that I transfer. Personally, I reckon it will be a matter of hours.
They will have another thing coming if they expect me to transfer over to that store. Yes, I used to want it, when I was still talking to my ex and living in Taunton, however now… I fear for my safety in that town. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near there on my own, not a chance! I dread to think what he would do to me if he was to see me, especially on my own. It scares the pants off me! And I shall tell my regional manager exactly that.
I would rather walk out of my regional management role and take a job on the checkouts in Tesco rather than transfer to Taunton! They shall have to suffer without me!

Bizarre... Nothing more to say other than bizarre

Finally, my housemate has now returned from her holidays and is staying put for a while! She spent a week in Abu Dhabi, came home for one night and then flew out again for a week in Cyprus! And she has come back horribly tanned… Bitch! Any way, back to reality for her and let “normality” commence.
I may actually be able to start my new single life as of this weekend. Mo (my house mate) has invited me to a bar in town Friday night…. With her friends. I haven’t been out in a group for weeks, oh dear, come to think of it, it’s been months! I don’t think I can call myself a 21 year old single woman…. I swear I am more like a 40 year old! Such a boring life I lead, oh well, things will change! I wonder if I can actually pull off a social life?! It shall certainly be an interesting night.

The past couple of nights I have had some pretty bizarre dreams involving my soon to be ex husband. The first of these took place over a weekend… The Friday night (for some bizarre unknown reason) I appeared to have gotten back together with him and was staying back at our old flat in his bed… with him. Not a nice image from what I remember. The next morning he got violent towards me, in front of his 7 year old son (who looked horrified), also not a nice thing from what I recall. That evening I escaped (again!).
Then last night was an even more bizarre dream! The strangest part of it was the car I owned… It was a white Peugeot estate, a very old rust bucket version! Believe me, I have some class when it comes to cars and being a dream I would have hoped my car would have been a Lamborghini (or something in a similar price range!). Anyhow, back to the dream… I was walking down the street to where my white rust bucket was waiting to discover it had a flat tyre. Obviously as it was such a wonderful car (please note - SARCASM!) and I was very distressed with the flat tyre. A man approached me from behind and put his hand firmly on my shoulder, “Hey honey, it will all be ok, I can get you to a garage and we’ll have this sorted for free.”
I looked round to see Dale’s face just inches from mine and I felt my heart stop. I glimpsed down and saw Jonathon (his son) stood looking up at me, he looked so pale and different to how I remember him. “Mummy, just get in the car, Daddy knows a someone who sells tyres.” As usual I fell for Jonathon’s big puppy dog eyes and felt guilty for leaving. Dale’s hand remained on my shoulder and next thing I know he is pushing me into the back seat of the car. He shuts the door and both Dale and Jonathon jump into the front seats of the car and we speed off. Fear soon take hold of me and as the car slows to go around a corner I open the door and jump. Despite still recovering from a broken leg, I jump from a moving car!
Then I woke up to hear my housemate getting home! I told you it was bizarre, but terrifyingly, I believe that he could potentially do. All though I certainly would never ever have a car like that!

I need a distraction... Lou should be back from holiday in a couple of days, I think sex might just about do it.

Shit. Everything has just dawned on me. I am very much alone, living in a new town where I only know a handful of people through work, and I’m not even that close to them. Not only that, but I am seeing a married man who is currently on holiday with his wife and kids. I am a horrible person! I know I should stop it, but the sex is just too good and always leaves me wanting more! Damn him!
My housemate is away for a few more days, meaning the house is still empty with just me rattling around in it. At least I don’t need to worry about whether she can hear my vibes or not! It’s not fair, I have had plenty of offers for this week, however all the guys are generally a couple of hours away from me! Sods law! Why can’t there be any decent single guys near home? Preferably that have their own place. Nothing worse than screaming out only to find afterwards on your way out that he has a housemate who has just heard everything!
I have to admit though, I am rather glad that I didn’t rent a house on my own… I get too lonely! Roll on Monday when my housemate gets home.

Nother fine and awkward situation!

What a bizarre day yesterday was! These things can only happen to me... I was working alongside my regional manager again and the regions HR manager. It was the first time I had ever met him and boy was it weird! He has the most amazing sexy phone voice, seriously, I could happily orgasm listening to him discuss the latest staff disciplinaries! But as usual, he is nothing compared to his voice! I had to do a double take when he introduced himself. I walked into the back office and presumed that he was a low performing sales consultant waiting to be investigated, but no, the greasy haired guy stood in front of me opened his mouth and I knew the voice… “Hi I’m James, finally we meet!” Hmmm, bang goes all my phone fantasies with him! And for once, bang is not meant in a good way.

Later in the day whilst I was rushing around like a woman possessed, attempting and failing to get as much work done as possible whilst using 3 phones at the same time; the 2 regional staff decided that I had to watch a film clip they had on one of the laptops… They both knew just how dirty my mind can be at times, so obviously when the guy doing a speech in the film says “guys, you just need a couple extra inches”, they both looked straight at me smirking. “Bet you prefer an extra few inches Kel” said my regional manager. After that, how the hell was I supposed to take him seriously?!
About half an hour later, the HR guy was asking me some HR related questions to complete my new payroll account. One of the questions was “Do you have any upper limb disorders?” I put on my cheekiest smile and replied “Only being double jointed”, both of them looked over, their eyes wide… “Come on, lets see it then.” said my regional manager.
I instantly flicked my arms around and clapped my elbows in front of my chest, meaning my cleavage went even more extreme than usual, I thought their eyes were going to pop out of their heads! “Where else are you double jointed then Kelly?” Regional manager asked, starting to shift about in his seat.
“Well, let’s put it this way, I used to show people what to do in auditions for the Circus of Horrors. And I can fit in a bottle the same size as a demi-john.” (A demi-john is a large bottle often used in home brewing).
“Can you fit in that tote?” “Yes”, they both nodded in approval and looked pretty impressed. I am never going to be able to look them both in the eye again! Not only that, how on earth am I ever going to be able to remain professional when assisting with investigations and disciplinary hearings?!

Just another day then!

Yet again another hectic day at work. I had a phone call from my regional manager before 8am demanding to know why I wasn’t in Taunton. Taunton manager phoned the Sasha (the old administrator) telling her that she had to be in store despite being her day off. Sasha said how she already had plans to spend the day with her dying grandmother… Taunton manager simply said “Change them”. What a bitch. This is one of the reasons I don’t want to work with her.
I finally agreed that I would stay in my own store for today and go to Taunton tomorrow. This should be fun… Not.
As always, work started off slow, however come lunchtime I was chocker with work. My regional manager decided that lunchtime would be the ideal time to call every manager in the region and gather some information which should ideally be collated first thing in the morning. I had to forewarn the managers that there would be a conference call for any sales staff who do not meet their target of customers seen/sat down. Obviously when you work in a very busy national chain of telecom stores, that is not exactly an easy task!
I also ended up speaking to Dec in the Plymouth store regarding customer issues. This was a guy who I ended up flirting outrageously with a few months ago, despite him having a girlfriend who also works in the same company. We continued our flirting and when I asked him for a small work related favour, he soon responded via email “what do I get in return.” I stupidly mentioned that I would be in Plymouth for a weekend soon… Uh oh.

The Kelly Tug-of-war

I was booked in due to go to the Taunton store tomorrow and Friday… My manager didn’t want me to go. I had been away from my own store for nine months (due to my leg) and they were refused any admin support, so it was understandable that when Taunton requested my assistance for a couple of days, he didn’t want me to go. I was also pretty pissed off with the idea.
My manager had said to me earlier in the week that I wasn’t going to the other store and he had agreed that with one of the regional managers who said that I need to focus on my own store for a while. I was happy with that suggestion and completely agreed! So I thought nothing of it until the manager of Taunton called me at 6pm to arrange where to pick me up from. I explained to her that I needed to stay in my own store and that the second in command of the region wanted me in my own store also.
However, she was having none of it and demanded that I work in her store for the following two days. I gave up and agreed.
At about half eleven at night I had a message come through from the Taunton manager saying “Lets forget about the next couple of days. Too many knickers getting twisted about it. I can’t be bothered. Thanks anyway.”

And again...

Lou came around again tonight. He was dropping Jenny’s step dad off at work, which happens to be just around the corner from my house. So he made the most of the opportunity and came round. This time my creepy house mate was out for the evening so we were able to be loud and passionate. And my God was it good!

Oops I did it again!

Lou came round and saw my new house today… Was typical that my creepy house mate decided that this evening would be the best day to stay downstairs. When Lou arrived, we sat in the lounge cuddled up watching TV and chatting for an hour or so. I ended up getting fed up and suggested we headed upstairs. I really didn’t want to give the wrong impression to my housemate… I’m in a new town and don’t want a reputation! Oh well, too late for that!
We fucked long and hard, in every physically possible position trying desperately to stay quiet. But all I wanted to do was scream out with pleasure. However all I could think about was my creepy housemate sat downstairs or worse, in his room, listening to me fucking a married man.
Whilst Lou was still here, he asked what my other house mate looked like as she was the “permanent housemate”. I told him that she was hot, and yes I would. Lou knew my taste in women and it is very similar to his own preference. I showed him a picture of her online… as he squinted at the screen you could almost see the little light bulb go of in his head… “I know her! She used to be a waitress at the pub I cheffed at!” Small world hey?
As Lou was leaving he whispered in my ear “We can do this more often now you’re nearer to me.”
It was only when Lou left that my housemate actually went out for the evening. Sods law!

Back to work, new house, Back to life!

What a couple of days. At the beginning of the week, all I seemed to do was pack, move house and unpack. And there is still more to move! It’s never ending!!!
I returned to work on Thursday after 9 months off in total (not including the 3 weeks I did part time in October). I was working in the Yeovil store for a couple of days with Sarah training me and showing me all of the different things which had changed over the months, which was most of it! My regional manager was working in the same store as me on the Thursday. The first thing he said as I hobbled through the door? “Hi Kelly, welcome back, you look like shit!”
Thanks for that boss! As you may be able to guess, I was ill, very ill! I had literally gotten flu like symptoms the day before and could barely stand up right with out losing my balance. I just hope that he has some respect for me now after seeing that I had dragged myself in for my first day back whilst being rather ill! He said to me, that for the first week back, he would let me take it easy so that I could ease myself back into the business gently… That promise lasted all of one day!
On the Friday I got into work to continue shadowing Sarah and to try out the new stock system. At lunch time she had to finish up and go home as she had a funeral to attend, so I said I would stay and take charge of her store for the afternoon. Would be a good practice run for me before being let loose in my own store again! Like I said, it’s been a while since I had run a store! I had planned to have a quiet afternoon planning for my own store the following week and auditing the store to learn all of the 2008 changes I had missed hearing about.
My plans soon changed. The minute Sarah left the store I was busy. Firstly was a “small job” my regional manager had asked me to do involving me calling each of the managers to confirm review dates which I began quickly. It took much longer than normal though as everyone wanted to catch up with me and hear the entire saga of my leg and how the recovery was going. It would appear that none of them thought I would actually return to work as many people who go onto long term sick leave simply vanish from the company! Oh well, I have changed that trend!
My regional manager then sent me another “small job” via email, meaning that again I had to call each of the store managers to inform them of a new regional policy for each of the sales team to complete and pass an e-learning quiz. They then had to fax me the individuals certificate which would mean a barrage of faxes (approximately 100 for the region), that will be fun to print each and check that I have everyone’s! Not!
As I got half way through calling the region for the second time that day, I checked my own stores email to see a message from the second in command of the region… “Hi Kelly, welcome back. Can you give me a bell when you get a minute?”
I knew exactly what that meant… He had a job for me to do. What joy. I called the store he was in for the day and yes, I was right, he did want me to do a job for him… Call all of the managers! Great, I was calling them all for the third time in one day! It was getting ridiculous, they all knew my voice by this point, I didn’t even need to say “It’s Kelly… Again”. Half of the managers didn’t know about the payments my phone call was regarding. One of them, nobody could get hold of which was a slight problem as the payment he was receiving had to be in the store by close of business Friday… The day I was calling on!
I had several other phone calls to make for the day, meaning the audit I had started on Sarah’s store kind of got pushed back slightly… I managed to complete one out 6 sections and began 2 other sections rather than completing the majority of it! I ended up being completely chocker with work right up until half six when I left!
After leaving work, I got back to my mum’s house to throw some more stuff in my car to take to the new house. I was exhausted so didn’t really hang around much and still had to stop off at the supermarket to pick up some fresh food for the weekend. By the time I got in it was nearly 8pm and I was shattered! I unloaded the car and put everything to one side to be unpacked the following day then just sat and chilled out. I couldn’t be bothered with trying to figure out the oven for the night, so I cheated and micro waved a lasagne! I know, home made is better… but hey, I had just moved in!

A very pricey weekend (part 2) - My laptop!

Whilst all of these costs were mounting, I had realised that my beautiful little laptop has a virus. Whoopdy friggin do! I received an MSN message from my best friend saying “Is this really you?” and had a hyperlink underneath. So of course I clicked and waited for it to load, but no, it started to download something which I presumed was just the photo software.
The laptop ended up freezing and started to open and close different windows. However I didn’t think too much of it. I called my best friend, Leah, and asked her what the picture was of. All I could think of was that Dale had possibly put some rather dodgy pictures of me on line. I wouldn’t put it past him.
She was pretty baffled when I started quizzing her about the photo she had tried to send. She knew nothing and then realized that she had been sent an identical message and her (well her boyfriend’s) computer had been playing up and freezing since. So it turned out that she had not sent the message and it was automatically sent to EVERYONE in her contacts list.
I instantly installed my antivirus software which only seemed to take a few minutes to load on. I scanned the system for any kind of virus and the scan came back clear, nothing to be concerned about then I though, so I continued as normal.
A couple of hours later I was getting fed up with how slow my laptop had become and ran another virus check. Again nothing, however a pop up appeared offering me free anti spy ware software which I downloaded. Whether that was a good thing or not, I still don’t know! Once it finished downloading, I ran a check using it. 17 viruses/spy ware/ad ware found. Oh no, hold on, it then updated and found 25! I was able to write down a few of the different names and what they do before that programme froze and crashed the system. There were some which downloaded hardcore porn to your hard-drive, how disappointing, I haven’t seen any! There were also a lot of the “dialler” things which attempt to call high cost numbers through your phone line! Some which slowly wipe your hard drive and a handful of spy ware viruses which record your every move online including keystrokes, this is how they can hack into your bank accounts online. Scary stuff really.
Later I received a message from Paypal saying that some one had been trying to hack into my account and they gave me the IP address and user name of the person who happened to be from Cambridge University. Very bizarre. I ended up phoning Paypal direct to find out if there really had been any suspicious activity on my account. I don’t usually worry about those emails as I know that they are mostly scams, however with the threat of having Spy ware on my laptop watching my every keystroke, I was getting paranoid. They said that nobody had tried to login to my account for weeks and certainly was not suspended. Hmm, scam email then.
As the day went on, it all got worse. I attempted to open the folder in which I keep all of my articles and another copy of my blog (I type it before posting online), however it began to open and then froze. I couldn’t do anything except for powering off and restarting the laptop. I tried again with the same folder only to receive the same crashed status. When I restarted for the third time, I tried opening another folder, crashed. Then I tried to get into the control panel but again CRASHED!
I was getting really edgy by this point as my anti virus still hadn’t alerted me to the virus’ on my system. Mum suggested a trip to PC World, however all I could think about was my mounting costs before I had even begun my life in my new house! So I tried calling their helpline first, I figured that would be cheaper than going down there and having someone look at it and this was I could also find out hwo much it would cost me!
The robot answered the phone “Welcome to PC World help desk please listen carefully to the following options and select using your keypad… Press 1 if you have already purchased a computer from us… Press 2 if you intend on making a purchase” I hit number 1, I hadn’t bought it from them, but it would do! “If you have a PC query press 1, press 2 for internet queries, press 3 for laptops…” 3! Wow, so far so good, I knew I would get through to a person eventually that I could divulge all my laptop woes to so I remained positive and stuck with the robot… “Thank you, press 1 for wireless queries, press 2 for general technical support…” 2, “Press 1 for HP, Press 2 for Dell, Press 3 for Compaq…. Press 7 for Sony Vaio” “Hoorah! Finally I hit the 7, “If you have a query regarding your Sony Vaio laptop please call Sony’s support desk on….” I felt like screaming and threw the phone down in a rage. I glimpsed up at mum and simply said “lets go then.” I was fuming!
We got into the store just before their closing time and joined the long queue for “The Tech Guys”. I had some lanky, geeky guy serve me and he looked at my laptop. He switched it on and tried to open a folder as I suggested. I panicked when I saw that he was trying to open my blogging folder, Christ, knowing my luck it would open and before you know it my somewhat sexually explicit writing would be in full view of everyone, including my MOTHER! Eek! Thankfully, the virus got to work and froze the laptop. He ran a virus check on it whilst it was in safe mode. He explained that it would help to wipe the main virus off but wouldn’t actually show as having a virus due to being in safe mode. Right-o mate, that would be why it has just flagged up 2 viruses then?!
I wanted them to do a complete system restore for me, as I am not exactly technologically minded and would more than likely cock it up and lose everything including the book which I have nearly finished writing! However if I was to give it to them, I would be without my pride and joy for 4 days! Four days people! Do you know what that would do to someone who has nothing to do, other than computer work all day?! I do and believe me, it would not be pretty!
He told me how to restore it and save my work safely (ie without the virus attaching itself to my disks) which I got onto back at home. Shame his idea of saving to disk whilst being in safe mode didn’t work. It turns out that you can use the CD drive, however any additional functions, such as CD writers, will not work! So I decided to take the plunge and risk infecting it all over again by saving whilst out of safe mode.
Once all of my work and photos (that I could think of) had been saved, I hit F10, the factory reset switch. I held my breath as it all clunked and whirred back into life. I was doing the dreaded laptop CPR. I felt as if my baby was dying, and I certainly wasn’t going to let it go without a damn good fight!
I left it re-installing Windows for the afternoon whilst I went over to my new house to meet up with my shiny new housemate!
I explained to her what was happening with my laptop and told her that it would be fine and clean again before I brought it over to the house to join her network and risk infecting her computer too. I just hoped and prayed that I was telling the truth. She took the news well and wished me luck with restoring the system. We seemed to hit it off and seemed more like old friends than two people meeting properly for the first time. All in all it was a rather pleasant afternoon sat in the local coffee house.
On arriving back at my mum’s house, I checked my laptop to see that Window’s had restored it self with no major issues and that it was back to how it was when I first bought it. So I happily started to download all of the necessary bits and bobs that I used to have on there. It took me all of Sunday to save all my favorite web pages again! And that was after missing half of them off!

The pricey weekend (part one!) - MY CAR!

Well, what a weekend… Haven’t a clue where to even start other than it was a pretty pricey weekend and I didn’t even go anywhere!

I shall start with Friday. As soon as mum returned home from work she got into my car and reversed it out of the garage. Surprisingly it started first time after being left in storage for the past nine months. I got in with her and we drove off to the local Ford dealership where it was booked in for the MOT. We left my car there overnight to have all of the necessary work done to get it back on the road and through the dreaded MOT! I left them with a new wing mirror to be fixed onto the car (a lovely Cornish thug kicked it off last year on my last regional trip!) and knew that a part of the suspension needed replacing, so I was preparing myself for it to cost approximately £300. I could handle that, that money was put aside in my savings account.
However I was soon proved wrong. The dealership called me later in the afternoon whilst I was on the phone to Paypal, but that’s another story! They called to explain that both sides of the suspension needed replacing and the “front nearside mount” whatever one of those is. It also apparently needs 3 new tyres and there is a crack in the coolant tank, strange that I never saw a damp patch in the garage.

I said to only do the urgent work to get it through the MOT and the cost soon mounted to £380!!! And I still needed to get the tyres and coolant issue sorted! Oh and the tax. Ouch!

Believe me, there is much more still to come... However I am too tired and stressed out, so I shall save it till tomorrow!

And the Nominees Are...

On another note, I have found out today that I have been nominated for the best of the blogs awards! Make a note in your diaries, voting starts 14th April! I have never won anything before, and it feels a privilege just to have been nominated! Considering that I am writing all of this anonymously, it will be somewhat a struggle to get many votes, so I am relying on you lot! Go on, give me a bit of a moral boost! Please? Maybe just a little one?
Right, now back to the books!

The book worm (attempt)

Oh my God, I am actually sat in a library doing work for the first time since I dropped out of college (five long years ago!)! And I have to say, I don’t like it! People are blatantly not being quiet like you are supposed to be and I am to busy watching what everyone else is doing and making sure they don’t invade my personal space! And not only that but it smells! It is vile and is actually making me feel rather ill!
When I walked into the library, I asked the man on the front counter if it was ok to use my laptop in here and he was quite helpful and whispered “Yes but you need to go to the next floor and use a study booth, you can’t get the internet in here though”. I followed his advice and headed over to the old rusty lift and entered the little box of doom. It slowly moved upwards creaking and groaning all the way and then stopped. I waited nearly half a minute for the door to open, but when you are claustrophobic it seemed like a lifetime.
I edged my way out and glimpsed around for a free booth only to discover that there were no booths what-so-ever! I headed towards the computer area and found an empty table surrounded by shelves where I have remained since. I have only been here 10 minutes and I feel ill. I want to go home but have to wait an hour for a lift from my mother! Damn it!

And Relax, Phew!

Well, the great Southern house hunt is officially over! I viewed two properties yesterday, one in a rather prestigious part of the town I work in and the other just off the town centre.
The first one I viewed was a no as soon as I stepped in the door. The hallway was laminated but very uneven. You felt as if you were drunk walking through there! The single 40 year old male landlord (and potential housemate) showed us upstairs to the room, it was awful. The room had absolutely no character, was cold and had mysterious Chinese symbols around the door and window. I certainly didn’t feel comfortable in there and not only that but it had a single bed! How would I explain that to someone I take home?!
The man then went on to explain that his 16 year old son usually stays over a couple of times a week, hm, yeah that’ll be a no then! And just to make matters worse, he was a musician and admitted to getting most of his inspiration to compose at ridiculous times in the morning! We then saw the kitchen. Let’s just put it this way, all council houses have nicer kitchen standards than that! All I wanted to do was run out of the front door back to the safety of the car. We made our excuses and headed off back into the town to view the second property.
We were just around the corner from a house I saw last week and walked up to a hideous glass front door, you know the one, usually found in a council house as a back door! I was keeping an open mind though as I had chatted with the girl living there a lot online and she seemed nice enough. We walked in through a relatively narrow hallway (it was a terrace house and looked small from the front) and soon entered what can only be described as a Tardis! For all of you non Doctor Who fans, a Tardis is something which is a lot bigger on the inside than it appears on the outside. The lounge had obviously once been two separate rooms knocked into one and was enormous, and very bright and airy.
We walked into the kitchen/diner to again be shocked at the enormity of the room! It had a row of cupboards and built in appliances stretching for at least 12 feet along one wall and a large dining table (to seat 6 comfortably) the other side of the room. I was told that I would have my own fridge and that we would share the freezer space, I’d of rather had my own freezer and shared the fridge, but hey, what can you do?! I soon spotted a rather drafty hole in the kitchens exterior wall which Mo (the girl) told me was for the cat as she couldn’t get a cat flap to go through the French doors leading to the garden so she created a kitty tunnel! I think I may help her on finding an alternative to get that hole blocked up!
I saw into the garden, which obviously needed some grass seed putting down, and saw there was a strong, secure looking shed. That’s my storage problem solved! Mo took us upstairs and into my room. First impression… It blatantly needs a good lick of paint! Oh and that carpet, yuck! It was a beautiful colour, however bright lilac really doesn’t look right as a carpet! The ceiling also matched the carpet, ouch!
It had all the essential furniture to get me started, bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers, desk. Sorted! And there was plenty more storage on the landing, all of the cupboards are currently empty, however Mo explained that they can be used for me if need be. The bathroom was like a sardine tin, but even so, I’m not exactly going to be in there too long! The cat then made his way up to meet me. He was a gorgeous ginger tomcat and rather vocal with it! It turns out his name is Tango, I have gone from Noodles to Tango, fabulous!
We went back downstairs to discuss the rent and any issues we may or may not have and sat down with Mo’s dad and step mum (they own the house). I said straight away that I wanted to put a deposit down. All of them looked pretty happy with me, but I am still paranoid that they may change their minds! Other than my paranoia the house is perfect for me, and not only that but Mo and I seem to have loads in common and are both just as ditzy as each other!
I can move in starting a week on Tuesday, now all I need to do is to find someone who has a large car or van! Everyone I know seems to have hatch backs! Might be a few trips I think despite it being an hour each way. The joys of moving.

Juggling lifes everything and anything

I am juggling, metaphorically speaking of course as I can only juggle with two balls although am willing to try more if you know what I‘m saying! I have received the results for my first assignment for my accounting course… I got… drum roll please… A grade A!!! This is the first A I have ever received, like ever! As you can tell I am completely thrilled by this result and it has spurred me on to continue trying my damned hardest to complete the course ASAP.
I have been tackling the Payroll unit today. There’s not a lot there but boy is it a lot to take in. It has completely thrown me off and I think it will take a lot of practice before I finally “get it”. I have decided though, when I have completed the course, I do not want to become a payroll administrator! I would much rather pay someone else to do it as my poor little brain is getting fried!
Yesterday I decided it was about time I sorted through all of my boxes currently being stored in mum’s back room, as when I do find a house, I don’t think I will have much storage space. Mum has already said that when I go, I need to take everything. Bugger, I always thought parents houses were there to act as essential storage of prized childhood possessions! Hmm, obviously not this one, I may ask my dad about storing a few bits and pieces in his 3 bed house, he has one completely empty bedroom and the guest room only has a computer table in it! Plenty of space.
I managed to sort through one box and threw out a few old computer manuals which I won’t ever need and was just getting to sort out the old Disney video collection when I spider crawled out from under a piece of paper. I may still have a broken leg, but believe me, if there’s a spider involved I can still move damn sharpish! Since the spider incident I haven’t returned to the large stack of videos and the dreaded box. I may go down armed with the Hoover I think!
At present when I take a break from my course and the practice questions I am desperately trying to catch up blogging. So I apologise if things are going a bit slower than normal, being off work means I have a lot of other things to be doing! Mind you, it’s going to be even more hectic when I am back to work!

American adventures to come

This is a perfect example of me attracting yet again another complication in my life. Just a few days ago I added an old work colleague to my Face Book friend list. He is someone that was more of an acquaintance, I worked directly with him a few times when I was having to rescue their store from the bottomless pit that is failed audit. The first time we met, the store manager had gone AWOL and he was left in charge. I turned up in store unannounced and as a new face to him. That week I learnt a lot about him… He enjoyed being a manager, ordering everyone around and generally sitting back being a slob! I seem to remember him playing football in the back office whilst I was left to complete the closing down routine. Very responsible guy!
He emailed me a couple of days ago to say congratulations on having gotten married. You see, he moved back to the states 2 years ago when his visa expired. I explained to him that the marriage had broken down due to Dale changing massively but didn’t go into any details. All day we were emailing when he suddenly invited me over to the states to stay with him for a week or two. Which obviously, the opportunity of a cheap holiday was not one to be missed and I gladly accepted his offer for next year.
He asked me if I would need to ask permission from my husband to go and stay with a big black American which I gladly replied “I don’t need permission from anyone, I am my own person, plus the divorce begins in a couple of months. Would your wife be aware of me staying?”
He went on to explain he has a wife and it is often easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. This got my cogs turning and wondering why he would need to ask forgiveness, and then it twigged, all through our conversation, he had been flirting and I had been playing straight into his hands right up to the point where I was explaining about my double jointed-ness and how I need to work really hard as I missed the fun I used to have with it!
How could I have been so stupid?! I knew that he had a wife and I still couldn’t resist talking about my old party trick of being uber-double jointed in arms and legs. Idiot! Did he think that I was coming over because I wanted a shag? Perhaps he, like Lou, thought I’d be up for a threesome. Perhaps my cheap holiday might not be such a good idea!
Ignoring that last conversation I began planning my American adventure, I would fly to Virginia and stay for a week with the American Manager, then hire a car and do a road trip travelling down south to New York over a couple of days. I would stop off at New York and stay with an old school friend. I grew up with him in a small village and we were best of friends, however the usual thing happened, when we got into secondary school, we grew apart. We would still talk, but no where near on the same level. It would be good to catch up with him. Following New York, I would get back on the road and continue South to Florida, where we have some family friends who run a restaurant. Fingers crossed they would put me up for a few days so I could enjoy the beach bum lifestyle!
Only time will tell, and if my bank balance will allow following my Malaysian excursion planned for later this year! And who knows, what happens stateside, stays stateside (and on my blog of course!).

Let's talk

I have finally managed to track down my manager! I got hold of him yesterday via text message and I think I ended up scaring him a little!
Me - “Sonny, I really need to speak to you urgently. Call me ASAP”
Much later in the day he finally replied “Hey Kel, sorry I haven’t been answering, my phones fucked up. What’s up?”
Me - “Can you call me from a different phone?”
Sonny - “Is it that important?”
Me - “Sort of yeah. I’d rather talk about it than text.”
Sonny - “Can you call me in store tomorrow? I’ll be back in then.”
This morning I text him requesting that he calls me from the cordless phone. Last thing I wanted was the other guys listening in and gossiping about me too. A couple of minutes later my phone rang. “Work - landline”. I answered and was quick to tell him he needed to go somewhere quiet and private, away from the other employees. He sounded rather panicked which made me fell a bit better, if the rumours about my job were true I wanted him to feel crap as he was supposed to be a friend and I had done plenty to help him out in the past on a more personal basis as well as getting him out of sticky situations at work.
He had a usual flirty comeback “you just wanna talk dirty to me, don’t you? I know what you’re like Kel”
“You know I always want to talk dirty to you sonny boy” I replied in a sultry tone. Once I heard the door code being entered and the locks snap shut behind him I knew that I would be safe to talk to him.
“Right, talk to me, you’re getting me really nervous now.” He said sounding a little shaky.
“Well, I don’t know where to start… To put it simply I have heard a rumour from a couple of people now saying that my job is not safe and that I will be put into a sales role when I come back. Please tell me that is not true?” I said laying it down in front of him, bluntly and straight to the point I thought!
“You what? I haven’t heard anything about that.” He said, sounding genuinely shocked. “I’ll speak to HR and the regional manager, they would know about it if that was the case.”
He hung up and about half an hour later he called me back to confirm that it was just a rumour and that my job was safe. “Thanks for scaring me half to death by the way! I’ve had enough of doing your job as well as mine! I need you back here!”
“Me scare you?! Think how I have been feeling, I’m looking for a new house at the moment too!” Cheeky git!
I now don’t know whether Sarah had really heard that I was being demoted on return from sick leave or if she is trying to get to me some how… Hmmm… I shall have to ponder on that one I think.

Rough times

Everything has now reached an all time low. I’m now clucking, no, I haven’t gone mad… It’s a slang term used when you are in need of a heroin fix. I’ve been clean for over three years now and this is the worse I have felt since going cold turkey all those years ago. I am guessing everything that has been happening lately has finally gotten to me and I have very few distractions.
I am waiting for a phone call from my manager as last night Sarah kept saying that my job was not safe and I would not have the same position when I return. And not only that, but there are no current sales vacancies in my store. I honestly don’t know whether to believe it or not, but one thing I do know is that my manager doesn’t seem to want to talk to me and certainly hasn’t suggested anything.
I kind of need to know now whether or not I have a job to go back to, I have 3 house viewings this weekend!

Rollercoaster of a night

My emotions are shot to pieces. I don’t even know where to start, nor how much to say. But I’ll give it a shot.
Tonight, I went out for a meal with a friend. For some unknown reason she suddenly started to ask me what I have done with my wedding and engagement rings. I don’t even remember how we got onto that conversation!
“They live in the ring box by my bed” I replied bluntly.
“Right, but why don’t you wear either of them?” She continued to question me from across the table.
“One, they aren’t exactly fancy, and two, I don’t like the memories attached to them.” I said beginning that familiar route down memory lane, but somehow stopping before getting emotional.
“Strange. I still wear my ring from my ex, but I just look at it and think ‘I got a nice ring!’” She said which somewhat surprised me.
Now, several hours later, whilst I am laid in bed with the TV off and nothing distracting me, my emotions have poured out along with the memories of getting those rings. I am sat looking at the box, remembering how Dale “proposed” to me.
I made him propose three times before I finally said that three letter word which would change my life. The first time he actually did get down on one knee, well, sort of! He was already sat on the floor after I had given him a shoulder massage and turned around to look up at me. “We ought to get married, I reckon you’d make a lovely little wife for me… Kelly, my wife for life” he had been drinking quite heavily that evening (I think he was up to his 12th can of larger at that point, I know he finished off an entire crate!) therefore my reply was short and sweet “ask me when you’re sober.” I seem to recall this proposal being just two months after we had met!
The second time, he did go down on one knee properly. I was sat in the lounge watching Eastenders (an English soap) after an exhausting 13 hour day at work and had just had to cook us both our evening meal. I was only there for a couple of hours as I was living a twenty minute drive from his flat at this point. Yet he still disturbed the crucial point of my programme and got down on his knee and looked at me with a nervous smirk on his face. “Will you marry me and be my wife for life?” I could tell from the smell of his breath that he had been drinking and he admitted to having a couple of cans to get the courage. “Nope, you shouldn’t need any dutch courage, ask me when you are completely sober!”
The third and final time he mentioned it in conversation one evening, just three and a half months after meeting me. “I really do think we make a great team. Shall we get married and we can make a proper go of it?” By this point I had moved the majority of my stuff into his any way, and he appeared to be such a nice caring guy, willing to do anything for me and to protect me. He also had a sweet son who had started to call me mummy and desperately wanted more children (that was a big plus for me!).
I smelt his breath for any trace of alcohol, seemed fine. “OK, I will marry you”. He gave me a cuddle and got out the Argos book (superstore which stocks everything from garden furniture to jewellery). He flicked through the ring section and said “which ones do you like?” The budget he gave me was £90 and no more than that! I know, classy guy. I should have known by that that we wouldn’t work! You see, I take after my mother and have expensive taste!
It was a couple of months later and we had a major row regarding the ring. My mum kept on at me (as did Jennie) about how I didn’t have a ring yet and he should be desperate to get a ring on my finger to show that I was taken. I had mentioned one of these conversations to Dale as we laid in bed late one night as it was starting to get to me that my mum didn’t trust my instinct (turned out she was right… bugger) and it was like Vesuvius erupting.
“Fine, I’ll get your bloody ring. I was going to do it to surprise you, take you somewhere like a busy restaurant and get down on one knee in front of everyone, but no, your mother has to butt in and take control. I’ll get your damn ring this weekend.” I was already upset, but that topped it. I sat there staring for a minute or two and then cried. He did his usual response to emotion and stormed off leaving me to it.
A month after the row, I came home from work after another tedious day visiting the Plymouth store. I had been on the road for nearly three hours and all I could think about was getting in and crashing out on the bed in Dale’s arms. The reality turned out somewhat different!
I cam in and collapsed on the sofa to see our little boy fast asleep on the other couch. I looked at him wondering how long he had been there and why his Dad was letting him stay in the lounge with heavy metal blaring out from the TV?! Dale looked over from the computer and said “He wanted to stay up to give you something” I hadn’t even noticed the large bunch of supermarket flowers on the mantle piece. It was very sweet of him though, I rarely get given flowers as most men know that I used to be a florist, so for some reason they don’t think that I want to receive them! Wrong - I love getting flowers, even a feeble effort from the supermarket/garage will do!
Dale then woke up Jonathon saying “Mummy’s home, are you going to go and give her the flowers?” The kid leapt up off the sofa (seriously, I would love to know how kids wake up like that!) and handed me the flowers with a beaming smile and big kiss. “This is for your birthday, but we thought we’d do it early!” Jonathon said still beaming up at me. He always insisted on giving presents early, I think that was because he expected to get his early too. He then ran off and came back with a squashy present which he thrust into my hands.
“I’ll open it on my actual birthday sweetheart, but thank you anyway” And I gave him a peck on the cheek and smiled over at Dale who then disappeared into the bedroom. I could hear him rummaging about and then he re-emerged carrying a small gift bag with a heart on the front. Very tasteful packaging I thought. He threw it at me saying “You’ll want this one now.” And quickly walked over to the window which he opened and hung out of to have a cigarette.
“Is this what I thin?” I asked, secretly hoping it was the ring and he would come over and propose properly now that he had the props.
“Open it and see.”
And yes, there it was a rather nice looking shiny white gold and diamond ring. Not exactly the usual engagement ring, but it would do I suppose! From the way that ring presentation to me went, I really should have known not to marry him. But hey, we can’t live life with regrets. If I hadn’t of done it, I would be sat here writing “What if…”
I’m going to put the box back in the drawer now I think. I haven’t felt this alone for a while and I almost miss the chaotic life on the council estate. Think Shameless (another English TV show)… Our block of flats, we were the Gallagher’s, Dale being Frank, the drugged up, pissed father. Most of all, I miss being a mummy. That’s enough self pity for now.
More happened tonight, but I am not going into that now.

Man Whore - Does what it says on the tin!

Bugger. I have lost out on man whore’s flat. Really gutted about that one. He just said he had offered it to someone who could move in sooner. Even when I offered him money from now to cover the rent he would be losing out on, he still declined. Back to the drawing board.

Do all man whore's have such fabulous apartments?

Viewed the Man Whore’s flat, perfect, fell in love immediately. Made mum pull over before going to see the house with the middle aged perv to decide what I wanted to do, we both agreed the flat was perfect and so was the housemate and I called the older man to cancel the viewing of his house. Thankfully he wasn’t in so I left a message apologising for messing him around.
I sent Man Whore a message saying “I don’t need to think about it. Yes please if that’s ok?” I heard nothing back that night, so I presumed he left his phone at home when he went out.

Time to Spread my Wings (take two!)

Good things and bad things have happened today - nothing major though! The bad, I managed to get distracted from doing my course (again) as I did yesterday, the good… I may have found somewhere to live!
At the moment, since leaving Dale, I have been living back with my mum. I had planned to move out back near the motorway (much easier for work) when my leg was a bit better and I was able to drive and work again. I managed to sign up with a website advertising housemates and have been offered three, count them, three, rooms!!! One woman and two men have asked me to move in.
These are my choices… The female lives in my old town (opposite side to Dale), however her advert says must like children. Hmm, curious, I’d have my own en suite attic room and seems a nice enough woman. Found out later today that the road is infamous for drug dealers and addicts alike, meaning at some point I would be likely to bump into Dale searching for a quick fix. I don’t think so.
Another was a 46 year old man living on his own in a 3 bed 3 storey town house only ten minutes from where I work, which would be about a 20 minute walk. Ideal! However his son stays some weekends and I’d have to put up with a single bed (in a double room, go figure!) and from my past experiences, I attract older men who turn out to be complete perverts (my ex-step dad, my best mates God father, the Welshman, Dale, Tim, Lou, Drew, all older men the average age being 34!). Oh dear.
The final room is being offered by a 24 year old man who is very “sociable” which is another way of saying man-whore! He is offering me a double room with my own private bathroom (he has an en suite and doesn’t use the main bathroom), very nice but small kitchen (seen a photo), would have access to sky plus (I can watch Lost again!!!) and wireless internet which would save me having to buy a portable modem, also has a driveway and garage (cheaper car insurance and guaranteed parking!). His description of himself was very sociable and enjoys living life to the full, great a party animal whereas I prefer a nice quiet life.
I have definitely ruled out the woman, don’t need the hassle of drug dens! Which leaves me with a middle aged pervert or a younger party animal/man whore. Hmm. What a choice! I have arranged to meet both candidates on Saturday evening so I shall cast my vote then!
Mum however was not best pleased when I called her to announce that I had a couple of house viewings. I honestly don’t think that she wants me to ever move out! Her reason for not being happy was that it would be with men and she doesn’t think I’d be safe. What she doesn’t realise is that for the past nearly four years I have lived as an independent woman, a year and a half of that time was living with a friend and a man, and the rest was living as a mother myself and a wife in a small pokey council flat in a pretty scary neighbourhood.
It’s time I spread my wings again. I don’t feel as if I can live my life as I’d like to here, what about when I want to bring a man back?! I have often wanted to ask Drew to stay but don’t feel comfortable with my mother being in the next room! Not only that but once I did ask him to stay which he instantly declined.
Roll on Saturday!

Never Rely on a Man!

How bloody typical. Anyone who placed a bet regarding Lou not turning up… congratulations, you win! I knew I couldn’t rely on him! After all of his teasing and tempting promises via text message a few nights ago, he has failed to turn up. Again. Anyway, it’s now 4pm and there is no sign of him.
He text me this morning saying that he was just getting the cars windscreen fixed, had to wait for some guy to come over and pay for the log burner to be repaired and then he would be on his way over. Strange that he doesn’t seem able to leave Jen with the money for the log burner guy, I know that she’s not great with money, but seriously, she wouldn’t have the car so it’s not like she would be able to spend it in a couple hours!
I have made a decision. My conscience can’t take much more of this. I feel sick more than turned on whenever Lou and I text each other and I haven’t been able to look Jennie in the eye for months. I’m going to tell Lou that we cannot do anything until he has left her. I’ll tell him next time I see him, I’m not the sort of person to dump someone over the phone.
Any who, I am going to crack on with my course… today’s lesson, VAT. You’d of though that it would be a simple case of adding 17.5% to everything

Dirty Filthy Sex

As usual, the complications continue… something that I’ve not told you is that since Tim text me the other day asking me to stay with him, he has been texting me nearly every day. I have been really good though and haven’t led him on in any way, shape or form. Except today, I think I officially crossed the “friends only” line.
Let me put it this way… I am very proud of my boobs. They are au natural, home grown etc… When I was 16 I was flatter than road kill, they then grew from a double A to E cup within the space of a year, I kid you not! And then the following year they continued to grow up to an F! So believe me when I say, I am proud of my home grown lovelies!!!
Tim - “So how are Britain’s best boobs?”
Me - “They are fine thank you but will be better when I put the weight back on!”
Tim - “What size are they now?”
Me - “D at the mo”
Tim - “Nice and what were you?”
Me - “F was the biggest”
Tim - “Wow, and the rest of you?”
Me - “8”
Tim - “Wow”
I always love shocking people with my dimensions, I know that I have a good figure, but never really show it off. Clothes shopping is not my strong point… lingerie shopping on the other hand, I should have a degree in!

Tim wasn’t the only complicated matter today, there was also Lou. It was gone midnight so I thought it had been another day with no contact which I was fine with. I could have an almost clear conscience for the day. He texted me a simple friendly message asking if I was awake, informing me that Jennie was in bed asleep and how was the leg doing.
Me - “Leg is doing well thanks except for the bandage slowly turning into a plaster cast! The bleeding has just about stopped now so that’s good. You ok?”
Lou - “Yeah I’m good. Alone thinking about you, feeling horny. You must be due on soon.”
Lou has a thing for real dirty sex including periods and golden showers. Sex whilst on a period I can just about do as that is when I am at my horniest! Any more than that is a no go for me. I don’t see the appeal in it, I struggle to pee in front of someone, let alone on them! And having someone piss on me? No thank you, that’s just gross and I do have some class! You’d have to pay me a pretty hefty sum to get me doing something on that level! Now there’s an idea for some quick cash. Sick pay isn‘t all it‘s cracked up to be…
For nearly two hours Lou and I were chatting for. Me trying to keep it friendly as I was absolutely shattered and couldn’t summon the energy to play from anywhere, and Lou desperately trying to turn it to filth!
He was begging me for a photo so he could see my red river in full flow, he really wanted to see me pulling a tampon out (I know, he’s a strange one). I sent him one of my juicy pink lips (and complimentry string) to keep him sweet and made my excuses for not sending the more explicit version. I explained to him that my crutches would wake mum up as I hobble to the bathroom to get a fresh tampon and said to him that I would guarantee I make it up to him on Monday (if he comes over). Finally a good thing about having a broken leg!
He asked if there was any chance he could come over tomorrow so that he could sort me out, however I had to decline as mum would be home most of the day. I told him it would have to be Monday or nothing as I needed to be on a bed so that my leg could be fully supported and mum would be out at work. I really don’t think that my leg would be ready for standing sex nor being bent over the car!
Lou then said he would definitely be over on Monday but it would have to be after 12 as he’s taking the car to the garage. He went onto say that if I was still on he would lick me dry and give me a deep tongue fuck as well as trying many different positions now that my leg is free from the cage!

Now, do I make an effort Monday morning, tidy the house up and make myself look pretty, or is he going to stand my up for the umpteenth time?

Place your bets now!

Operation... 3 down 1 to go! I am now out of the frame :-)

Well today women all over the world will be proposing to their men as is the leap year tradition. Not me, I don’t intend on getting married again! Well, unless Mr Perfect happens to walk into my life with the biggest sex drive possible so he could match me! One of my nurses from yesterday is planning on popping the question to her anaesthetist boyfriend, who happened to be my gorgeous anaesthetist!
Yesterday I had the operation to take the cage off of my leg. It was a very bizarre day filled with dumb nurses with bulbous noses, and especially good looking surgeons and anaesthetists! I managed to wake myself up at six in the morning so that I could have a slice of toast (wasn’t allowed to eat after 7am) which I am glad I did as by the time of the operation I was ravenous!
I packed an overnight bag, just in case I had to stay in. I have a problem with my blood, whereas it doesn’t like to clot very well, so I was partially expecting to have to stay in overnight. Mum drove me up to Bristol hospital where we arrived ahead of my appointment time. We were told to go and wait in a large reception area where we were greeted by 20 people, both patients and relatives. Some were even sat in hospital gowns which made me feel very nervous, I know they say you leave your dignity at the door, but seriously like that?!
Thankfully I did not have to wait around in a gown in the reception area. I was finally called into a little room after waiting about half an hour and had a little nurse run through all the pre-op assessment again. I struggled to look at her in the eye as my eyes kept getting drawn down to her… No not bosom but her nose! She had a bright red very bulbous nose which look like a clowns nose had been stuck to her face! I kept glimpsing over at mum who was also struggling not to release a chuckle.
The nurse began the pre-op interview and ran through all the usual questions, “You allergic to anything?”
“Yes, oranges” I replied.
“Oh, I’ve not heard of that one before, what happens when you eat an orange then?” She asked me as if she didn’t believe me.
“I vomit” I replied bluntly. I was not impressed with her “nursing skills”
“Oh dear, that doesn’t sound very nice!” She said. I looked over to mum who was sat beside me looking just as gob smacked as I felt.
I could barely hear what the nurse was saying but she ended up rushing off out of the room to get something. She had mumbled something before leaving us, but neither mum nor I had heard her. She soon returned armed with a thermometer which she promptly thrust into my ear.
“You have a temperature” She said looking amused almost.
“Oh really. I feel fine” I said, waiting for her to ask me if I had recently had a cold, which I had and still had the tail end of it. But the question never came. Nor did she ask if I was asthmatic! When she asked me to step onto the scales I noticed that the needle wasn’t on zero which I pointed out to her. She didn’t seem concerned in the slightest and told me just to get on it!
Following my assessment I was sent back into the waiting area where we remained for another half hour before having a different nurse come and call for me. This one looked like a butch lesbian, really broad shouldered, short hair and a square jaw line. She certainly wasn’t a girly girl! She took me through to the ward area and showed me to a bed. It was a cubicle on the end, tucked away quite nicely with a comfy looking armchair and foot stool all ready for me. She informed me that I should make myself comfortable and she would be back over in a short while to get me settled in. And with that she was gone.
We didn’t know what to expect, there wasn’t a gown in the cubicle so I couldn’t get myself ready and I had previously been told I was last on the list, so me and mum sat in my cubicle preparing for a long wait. About 5 minutes later a hunky man wearing scrubs marched past my cubicle peering in as he went, he then turned and came back stopping by my curtain door.
“Kelly Guyer?” He questioned. He had the most beautiful clear hazelnut eyes that you could look into forever.
“Yep, that’s me” I said, I could feel myself starting to turn crimson.
It turned out he was my anaesthetist (a very good looking one at that!) and just had to run through a few things with me. I told him about having had a cold but he said that it should be fine. I noticed as he sat on the bed talking to me that he kept swinging his feet and flicking his plastic hospital shoes on and off which mum and I had a chuckle about after.
A short while after another Doctor peered around the curtain and made his way into chat. He introduced himself as my registrar which was news to me as I had previously seen a different registrar. The one I used to see, Dr Thomas, was drop dead gorgeous and had a very sweet, almost innocent look to him. He always used to come and visit me up on the ward when his shift finished, just to keep me company as he knew my family were 2 hours away. I was tempted to ask him today if he wanted to meet up outside of the hospital after my operation, but obviously that wasn’t to be.
Today’s registrar was also very hot, however in a different way to Dr Thomas. This one had a dirty sex appeal about him and smelt fantastic. So much for Doctors not being allowed to wear cologne! I could just imagine kissing his neck passionately and him bending me over the bed, taking me roughly from behind and the anaesthetist walking in taking the surgeon‘s place. I felt wet just with him talking me through the operation! This was typical, I was in hospital for major surgery and I end up fantasizing about both the surgeon and the anaesthetist! I think I have a problem!!!
After I got myself all flustered thinking about sex and hot Doctor’s, a couple of nurse’s wheeled me down the corridor and into an icy operating theatre. I had three people stood around me and a group of surgeons including the hot one sat down by the computer in the corner of the room. There was a female anaesthetist and an elderly female nurse stood either side of my head and the hot male anaesthetist rushing all round. The nurse stood there chatting to distract me from the others rushing around me, while the female anaesthetist attached all of the monitoring equipment to me until I felt as if I should be plugged into the mains. The male anaesthetist rapidly went down in my books as he put the needle roughly into the back of my hand. As it was cold, I felt the pain much more, it took him a couple of attempts before he finally got into the vein and flushed a small syringe through. As he did this the nurse stood next to me saw me clasp the blanket and she clutched onto my hand offering me support and encouragement.
At first I thought it was saline (water) that he flushed through the line, however my hearing went all fuzzy like when you are about to faint, so I began thinking perhaps it was the anaesthetic? But no, it couldn’t have been, I was still wide awake and I have never been able to fight off anaesthetic.
“Has he given me something?” I mumbled to the female anaesthetist.
“Yes, it’s just to help you relax love, I’m just about to give you something else to help you relax a bit more, it will make you feel like you have been out on the town!” She replied, happy to explain everything going on around me.
“I already feel pissed, do you have to?!” I questioned, not enjoying the dizzying feeling. It reminded me of when I used to shoot up as an addict, years ago, something I never wanted to have to relive, yet here I was doing it in a legal manner. And yes, I still hated the feeling.
“Just about to put an oxygen mask on you, so you get a good lung full of it as we put you under. You might feel a bit of a sting as the anaesthetic goes into the line in….” The anaesthetists voice grew fainter until I could no longer hear her and I was out like a light!
I came to in a bright white room with only 3 beds. I was the only person in the room as well as two nurses looking after me. I woke to find myself holding onto a plastic cup of water and automatically lifting it up to my mouth to take a sip. I had a saline drip running into my hand, great, I thought, what the hell has happened?!
I looked around, I already had my glasses on, that’s weird, they normally make you ask for your glasses in recovery.
“Did I ask for a drink?” I asked the brunette nurse feeling very confused.
“Yes you did sweet heart, you were asking about equipment too a little while ago, not sure what it was exactly though!” She then went onto explain about the saline, “you were ever so pale when you came out and your blood pressure dropped very low, gave us a bit of a scare at one point, but we have pushed some fluids through you and it is picking up now. You have more colour in you cheeks too.”
“Great, thanks, just don’t tell my mum about the little scare, she’ll only worry and she doesn’t need that. Can you sit me up a bit please?” I hated being flat on my back like that with nothing nice to look at above. She raised the back of the bed up at an angle so I was more propped up and we all sat chatting about ER and horses for some reason. Then we moved on to discuss the brunette nurses love life… It was going to be a leap year tomorrow and she was doing the time honoured tradition of proposing to her boyfriend, none other than the gorgeous anaesthetist!
A short while later after I had been chatting away they wheeled me back through to the main day unit where the chief nurse greeted me with an offer of biscuits, obviously I opted for the Jammie Dodgers, or rather the hospitals cheaper version and munched happily, they fetched me another cup of water and told me that my mum had phoned up while I was still in recovery. The nurse went out into the waiting room and found mum sat there and brought her through.
We all sat in my cubicle until 5pm when I was allowed to go home to rest. The nurse told us we were lucky I was being operated on on the Thursday as it was that night (last night) that the hospital was being closed to admissions and any emergency cases would be “stored” in the day unit ward! This was all down to the latest super bug… Norovirus. I was just glad that it was in the other hospital building. Just after the nurse told us this, we packed up my things and hobbled back up to the car. This was after arguing with the nurse that I was partially weight bearing and needed my crutches. The surgeon wrote on my notes FWB (fully weight bearing) when he had told us that I would be partial weight bearing! Crazy people!
Anyway, after a lengthy post, I am now back home and having to lie very still due to a very bloody leg. I was told the operation went well, but they all forgot it takes me a long time to stop bleeding! All will be well.

Did the earth move for you too?

I realised last night that I really miss having a man. I miss someone being there and cuddling me when I am scared, too scared to sleep, someone just to tell me everything will be ok. Although thinking about it, I only remember my soon-to-be-ex-husband, Dale, doing this only once in the two years we were together. I know, I don’t know why I stayed so long either, I should never have even married him with my doubts about him as a person and especially with the concern my friends all showed to me. I am sorry I never listened to you guys.
I am sure you are all wondering what got me all worked up into a complete state of fear last night… Well…. Last night at nearly ten past one in the morning both mum and I were still awake, I was reading through different blogs in bed and mum was happily reading her book in her bed. Suddenly I heard my wardrobe moving and then saw the mirror wobbling about on my shelf. I hasten to add that the floors in our house aren’t that great, normally if mum is moving about in her room, my wardrobe will start to wobble and creak. So I simply thought that she was moving to start with, then the whole room was wobbling as if on a giant wave. My mirror on the shelf is an old fashioned antique, typical brass frame stood up on one point on the stand which began to wobble, only slightly at fist but then so much that it moved over an inch along the shelf (I could tell by the dust marks, I know, I really should clean that shelf!).
Before everything stopped moving I shouted out to mum “What the hell was that?” I had a terrifying image of my mum on her bedroom floor having an epileptic fit. But after a very long 3 seconds, she responded, “I don’t know, you felt it as well then? It could be the wall at the back of the house, it looks like someone has been having a go at it”. The garden wall she was referring to was in a major state of disrepair and looked as if it could easily be pushed over.
“Actually, it couldn’t have been that, we’d have heard it rather than felt it as it’s no longer attached to the house. But I heard all of the brick work cracking and creaking.” She continued as she emerged around my door. The shaking had now stopped after about 6 seconds which felt like 6 minutes!
Mum proceeded to put on her dressing gown and I hobbled over to the door way to join her in the safety of the door frame clutching onto my phone just in case the house did decide to collapse (crazy I know!). We went downstairs, mum armed with her torch and me with my phone and a crutch (walking stick! Not crotch!).
We checked out of the window as mum put her shoes on and couldn’t see anything, so mum ventured out the back door. She went all around the outside of the building inspecting every brick with her torch, seeing no damage. We went back upstairs to our separate rooms “If any walls are to collapse, it will be this one” mum said referring to the wall her bed backs onto.
At this point I just presumed it was an earthquake, “Christ, I dread to think what it must be like in a proper earthquake, if this is what we are like in such a small event!”
We found out this morning that it was indeed an earthquake. 5.2 on the Richter scale the biggest quake felt in the UK since 1984. The epicentre was in Lincoln, a massive 242 miles away from me in the South West.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, I don’t know if it was fear of the house collapsing or the fear of the unknown, but either way I wish I had some strong arms embracing me last night and a voice saying “it will all be fine.”