Revenge is sweet... for some

Either my housemate is trying to get revenge on me for shagging too noisily the other night or she is just as filthy as I am!
When we went out Friday night, she pulled a guy… Yes he was hot! I certainly would anyway, but then again I would with most right now! Got to enjoy life to the full!
Last night she went out again whilst I stayed at home recovering from last nights antics. I went up to bed before she got home and when I went into the bathroom this morning, I noticed that the toilet seat was up, meaning she either had a guy over for the night or was sick during the night. I ended up believing the first choice.
When I returned home from church (yes, I try to be a Bible basher occasionally) she was out. She got home an hour after I did and was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get ready for something. She then disappeared for the rest of the afternoon and evening. When she returned home later that evening, I heard the front door click shut and heard a couple of voices in the hallway. Mo soon appeared in the doorway to the lounge and said “You remember Ewan from the other night?” And he sheepishly entered the room.
After chatting for five minutes, I got back to my film and they both disappeared upstairs where they have remained since.
I am now writing this laid in bed hearing her bed creaking and his balls slapping against her arse (she really needs to learn to shut her door!). I wouldn’t have minded so much if I could get some action that easily! She certainly has the looks. I have to admit though, my slightly evil side got the better of me and I couldn’t help but chuckle when I heard the cat happily wonder into her room to join them and soon retreat again!
Finally, sounds like they have finished. I really ought to get some sleep now, but feel far too frisky! Damn them! Let’s just hope they don’t go for round two! Time for me to open a fresh pack of batteries…

Exploring the new towns nightlife... Hmmm

Went out with my housemate and her friends, got drunk, tried pretty much all the town centre places. Stayed in Remedies got more drunk, met a couple guys…. 1 had big sex appeal, very nice… Mo (my housemate) pulled him.
Mo’s friends all seem ok… very two faced but ok otherwise! One of them was obviously rather drunk when I arrived and wouldn’t stop talking all night. Apparently she usually gets like that and gets all serious on you. Great fun… Not.
As always I managed to attract a fight and got kicked in the leg… right where the break is. Ouch. Left Remedies to go to the only proper nightclub which was reopening tonight… Too much pain so left the others to go in without me and hobbled/stumbled home! Taken pain killers after drinking, now feel yucky!

Oh dear, I have been a naughty girl again. Lou came over again. We sat down stairs catching up and chatting, he had been away for a week with the family and Barry and Phillis (Jen’s mum and step dad). Lou managed to get badly sunburnt on the first day, but still looked ridiculously tanned which he soon pointed out I looked blue next to him (I am naturally pale anyway!). I was not amused!
My housemate was in the shower when he arrived and was getting an early night which was a shame as Lou used to work with her years ago and wanted to see her. Her going to bed early also made it very awkward for us… It is impossible to sneak up our stairs, they creak more than an old lady trying to get out of her rocking chair!
We began to creep up the stairs and Lou ended up laughing all the way upstairs despite me trying to keep him quiet! I really don’t want to get a reputation with my housemate of being a sex mad woman who is quite happy to see a married man… Hmmm, think I’ve blown that one!
We got into my room and barricaded the door in case the cat decided to break in and spoil our fun. Unfortunately it wasn’t the cat who stopped short or night of passion… It was Lou getting far too carried away! So damn frustrating! I made it very clear to him that I wasn’t amused.

Sod's law!

Bloody typical. I have just heard that the admin manager of the Taunton store handed in her notice yesterday. Place your bets now on how long it will be until the store manager and my regional manager will take to call me and demand that I transfer. Personally, I reckon it will be a matter of hours.
They will have another thing coming if they expect me to transfer over to that store. Yes, I used to want it, when I was still talking to my ex and living in Taunton, however now… I fear for my safety in that town. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near there on my own, not a chance! I dread to think what he would do to me if he was to see me, especially on my own. It scares the pants off me! And I shall tell my regional manager exactly that.
I would rather walk out of my regional management role and take a job on the checkouts in Tesco rather than transfer to Taunton! They shall have to suffer without me!

Bizarre... Nothing more to say other than bizarre

Finally, my housemate has now returned from her holidays and is staying put for a while! She spent a week in Abu Dhabi, came home for one night and then flew out again for a week in Cyprus! And she has come back horribly tanned… Bitch! Any way, back to reality for her and let “normality” commence.
I may actually be able to start my new single life as of this weekend. Mo (my house mate) has invited me to a bar in town Friday night…. With her friends. I haven’t been out in a group for weeks, oh dear, come to think of it, it’s been months! I don’t think I can call myself a 21 year old single woman…. I swear I am more like a 40 year old! Such a boring life I lead, oh well, things will change! I wonder if I can actually pull off a social life?! It shall certainly be an interesting night.

The past couple of nights I have had some pretty bizarre dreams involving my soon to be ex husband. The first of these took place over a weekend… The Friday night (for some bizarre unknown reason) I appeared to have gotten back together with him and was staying back at our old flat in his bed… with him. Not a nice image from what I remember. The next morning he got violent towards me, in front of his 7 year old son (who looked horrified), also not a nice thing from what I recall. That evening I escaped (again!).
Then last night was an even more bizarre dream! The strangest part of it was the car I owned… It was a white Peugeot estate, a very old rust bucket version! Believe me, I have some class when it comes to cars and being a dream I would have hoped my car would have been a Lamborghini (or something in a similar price range!). Anyhow, back to the dream… I was walking down the street to where my white rust bucket was waiting to discover it had a flat tyre. Obviously as it was such a wonderful car (please note - SARCASM!) and I was very distressed with the flat tyre. A man approached me from behind and put his hand firmly on my shoulder, “Hey honey, it will all be ok, I can get you to a garage and we’ll have this sorted for free.”
I looked round to see Dale’s face just inches from mine and I felt my heart stop. I glimpsed down and saw Jonathon (his son) stood looking up at me, he looked so pale and different to how I remember him. “Mummy, just get in the car, Daddy knows a someone who sells tyres.” As usual I fell for Jonathon’s big puppy dog eyes and felt guilty for leaving. Dale’s hand remained on my shoulder and next thing I know he is pushing me into the back seat of the car. He shuts the door and both Dale and Jonathon jump into the front seats of the car and we speed off. Fear soon take hold of me and as the car slows to go around a corner I open the door and jump. Despite still recovering from a broken leg, I jump from a moving car!
Then I woke up to hear my housemate getting home! I told you it was bizarre, but terrifyingly, I believe that he could potentially do. All though I certainly would never ever have a car like that!

I need a distraction... Lou should be back from holiday in a couple of days, I think sex might just about do it.

Shit. Everything has just dawned on me. I am very much alone, living in a new town where I only know a handful of people through work, and I’m not even that close to them. Not only that, but I am seeing a married man who is currently on holiday with his wife and kids. I am a horrible person! I know I should stop it, but the sex is just too good and always leaves me wanting more! Damn him!
My housemate is away for a few more days, meaning the house is still empty with just me rattling around in it. At least I don’t need to worry about whether she can hear my vibes or not! It’s not fair, I have had plenty of offers for this week, however all the guys are generally a couple of hours away from me! Sods law! Why can’t there be any decent single guys near home? Preferably that have their own place. Nothing worse than screaming out only to find afterwards on your way out that he has a housemate who has just heard everything!
I have to admit though, I am rather glad that I didn’t rent a house on my own… I get too lonely! Roll on Monday when my housemate gets home.

Nother fine and awkward situation!

What a bizarre day yesterday was! These things can only happen to me... I was working alongside my regional manager again and the regions HR manager. It was the first time I had ever met him and boy was it weird! He has the most amazing sexy phone voice, seriously, I could happily orgasm listening to him discuss the latest staff disciplinaries! But as usual, he is nothing compared to his voice! I had to do a double take when he introduced himself. I walked into the back office and presumed that he was a low performing sales consultant waiting to be investigated, but no, the greasy haired guy stood in front of me opened his mouth and I knew the voice… “Hi I’m James, finally we meet!” Hmmm, bang goes all my phone fantasies with him! And for once, bang is not meant in a good way.

Later in the day whilst I was rushing around like a woman possessed, attempting and failing to get as much work done as possible whilst using 3 phones at the same time; the 2 regional staff decided that I had to watch a film clip they had on one of the laptops… They both knew just how dirty my mind can be at times, so obviously when the guy doing a speech in the film says “guys, you just need a couple extra inches”, they both looked straight at me smirking. “Bet you prefer an extra few inches Kel” said my regional manager. After that, how the hell was I supposed to take him seriously?!
About half an hour later, the HR guy was asking me some HR related questions to complete my new payroll account. One of the questions was “Do you have any upper limb disorders?” I put on my cheekiest smile and replied “Only being double jointed”, both of them looked over, their eyes wide… “Come on, lets see it then.” said my regional manager.
I instantly flicked my arms around and clapped my elbows in front of my chest, meaning my cleavage went even more extreme than usual, I thought their eyes were going to pop out of their heads! “Where else are you double jointed then Kelly?” Regional manager asked, starting to shift about in his seat.
“Well, let’s put it this way, I used to show people what to do in auditions for the Circus of Horrors. And I can fit in a bottle the same size as a demi-john.” (A demi-john is a large bottle often used in home brewing).
“Can you fit in that tote?” “Yes”, they both nodded in approval and looked pretty impressed. I am never going to be able to look them both in the eye again! Not only that, how on earth am I ever going to be able to remain professional when assisting with investigations and disciplinary hearings?!

Just another day then!

Yet again another hectic day at work. I had a phone call from my regional manager before 8am demanding to know why I wasn’t in Taunton. Taunton manager phoned the Sasha (the old administrator) telling her that she had to be in store despite being her day off. Sasha said how she already had plans to spend the day with her dying grandmother… Taunton manager simply said “Change them”. What a bitch. This is one of the reasons I don’t want to work with her.
I finally agreed that I would stay in my own store for today and go to Taunton tomorrow. This should be fun… Not.
As always, work started off slow, however come lunchtime I was chocker with work. My regional manager decided that lunchtime would be the ideal time to call every manager in the region and gather some information which should ideally be collated first thing in the morning. I had to forewarn the managers that there would be a conference call for any sales staff who do not meet their target of customers seen/sat down. Obviously when you work in a very busy national chain of telecom stores, that is not exactly an easy task!
I also ended up speaking to Dec in the Plymouth store regarding customer issues. This was a guy who I ended up flirting outrageously with a few months ago, despite him having a girlfriend who also works in the same company. We continued our flirting and when I asked him for a small work related favour, he soon responded via email “what do I get in return.” I stupidly mentioned that I would be in Plymouth for a weekend soon… Uh oh.

The Kelly Tug-of-war

I was booked in due to go to the Taunton store tomorrow and Friday… My manager didn’t want me to go. I had been away from my own store for nine months (due to my leg) and they were refused any admin support, so it was understandable that when Taunton requested my assistance for a couple of days, he didn’t want me to go. I was also pretty pissed off with the idea.
My manager had said to me earlier in the week that I wasn’t going to the other store and he had agreed that with one of the regional managers who said that I need to focus on my own store for a while. I was happy with that suggestion and completely agreed! So I thought nothing of it until the manager of Taunton called me at 6pm to arrange where to pick me up from. I explained to her that I needed to stay in my own store and that the second in command of the region wanted me in my own store also.
However, she was having none of it and demanded that I work in her store for the following two days. I gave up and agreed.
At about half eleven at night I had a message come through from the Taunton manager saying “Lets forget about the next couple of days. Too many knickers getting twisted about it. I can’t be bothered. Thanks anyway.”

And again...

Lou came around again tonight. He was dropping Jenny’s step dad off at work, which happens to be just around the corner from my house. So he made the most of the opportunity and came round. This time my creepy house mate was out for the evening so we were able to be loud and passionate. And my God was it good!

Oops I did it again!

Lou came round and saw my new house today… Was typical that my creepy house mate decided that this evening would be the best day to stay downstairs. When Lou arrived, we sat in the lounge cuddled up watching TV and chatting for an hour or so. I ended up getting fed up and suggested we headed upstairs. I really didn’t want to give the wrong impression to my housemate… I’m in a new town and don’t want a reputation! Oh well, too late for that!
We fucked long and hard, in every physically possible position trying desperately to stay quiet. But all I wanted to do was scream out with pleasure. However all I could think about was my creepy housemate sat downstairs or worse, in his room, listening to me fucking a married man.
Whilst Lou was still here, he asked what my other house mate looked like as she was the “permanent housemate”. I told him that she was hot, and yes I would. Lou knew my taste in women and it is very similar to his own preference. I showed him a picture of her online… as he squinted at the screen you could almost see the little light bulb go of in his head… “I know her! She used to be a waitress at the pub I cheffed at!” Small world hey?
As Lou was leaving he whispered in my ear “We can do this more often now you’re nearer to me.”
It was only when Lou left that my housemate actually went out for the evening. Sods law!

Back to work, new house, Back to life!

What a couple of days. At the beginning of the week, all I seemed to do was pack, move house and unpack. And there is still more to move! It’s never ending!!!
I returned to work on Thursday after 9 months off in total (not including the 3 weeks I did part time in October). I was working in the Yeovil store for a couple of days with Sarah training me and showing me all of the different things which had changed over the months, which was most of it! My regional manager was working in the same store as me on the Thursday. The first thing he said as I hobbled through the door? “Hi Kelly, welcome back, you look like shit!”
Thanks for that boss! As you may be able to guess, I was ill, very ill! I had literally gotten flu like symptoms the day before and could barely stand up right with out losing my balance. I just hope that he has some respect for me now after seeing that I had dragged myself in for my first day back whilst being rather ill! He said to me, that for the first week back, he would let me take it easy so that I could ease myself back into the business gently… That promise lasted all of one day!
On the Friday I got into work to continue shadowing Sarah and to try out the new stock system. At lunch time she had to finish up and go home as she had a funeral to attend, so I said I would stay and take charge of her store for the afternoon. Would be a good practice run for me before being let loose in my own store again! Like I said, it’s been a while since I had run a store! I had planned to have a quiet afternoon planning for my own store the following week and auditing the store to learn all of the 2008 changes I had missed hearing about.
My plans soon changed. The minute Sarah left the store I was busy. Firstly was a “small job” my regional manager had asked me to do involving me calling each of the managers to confirm review dates which I began quickly. It took much longer than normal though as everyone wanted to catch up with me and hear the entire saga of my leg and how the recovery was going. It would appear that none of them thought I would actually return to work as many people who go onto long term sick leave simply vanish from the company! Oh well, I have changed that trend!
My regional manager then sent me another “small job” via email, meaning that again I had to call each of the store managers to inform them of a new regional policy for each of the sales team to complete and pass an e-learning quiz. They then had to fax me the individuals certificate which would mean a barrage of faxes (approximately 100 for the region), that will be fun to print each and check that I have everyone’s! Not!
As I got half way through calling the region for the second time that day, I checked my own stores email to see a message from the second in command of the region… “Hi Kelly, welcome back. Can you give me a bell when you get a minute?”
I knew exactly what that meant… He had a job for me to do. What joy. I called the store he was in for the day and yes, I was right, he did want me to do a job for him… Call all of the managers! Great, I was calling them all for the third time in one day! It was getting ridiculous, they all knew my voice by this point, I didn’t even need to say “It’s Kelly… Again”. Half of the managers didn’t know about the payments my phone call was regarding. One of them, nobody could get hold of which was a slight problem as the payment he was receiving had to be in the store by close of business Friday… The day I was calling on!
I had several other phone calls to make for the day, meaning the audit I had started on Sarah’s store kind of got pushed back slightly… I managed to complete one out 6 sections and began 2 other sections rather than completing the majority of it! I ended up being completely chocker with work right up until half six when I left!
After leaving work, I got back to my mum’s house to throw some more stuff in my car to take to the new house. I was exhausted so didn’t really hang around much and still had to stop off at the supermarket to pick up some fresh food for the weekend. By the time I got in it was nearly 8pm and I was shattered! I unloaded the car and put everything to one side to be unpacked the following day then just sat and chilled out. I couldn’t be bothered with trying to figure out the oven for the night, so I cheated and micro waved a lasagne! I know, home made is better… but hey, I had just moved in!

A very pricey weekend (part 2) - My laptop!

Whilst all of these costs were mounting, I had realised that my beautiful little laptop has a virus. Whoopdy friggin do! I received an MSN message from my best friend saying “Is this really you?” and had a hyperlink underneath. So of course I clicked and waited for it to load, but no, it started to download something which I presumed was just the photo software.
The laptop ended up freezing and started to open and close different windows. However I didn’t think too much of it. I called my best friend, Leah, and asked her what the picture was of. All I could think of was that Dale had possibly put some rather dodgy pictures of me on line. I wouldn’t put it past him.
She was pretty baffled when I started quizzing her about the photo she had tried to send. She knew nothing and then realized that she had been sent an identical message and her (well her boyfriend’s) computer had been playing up and freezing since. So it turned out that she had not sent the message and it was automatically sent to EVERYONE in her contacts list.
I instantly installed my antivirus software which only seemed to take a few minutes to load on. I scanned the system for any kind of virus and the scan came back clear, nothing to be concerned about then I though, so I continued as normal.
A couple of hours later I was getting fed up with how slow my laptop had become and ran another virus check. Again nothing, however a pop up appeared offering me free anti spy ware software which I downloaded. Whether that was a good thing or not, I still don’t know! Once it finished downloading, I ran a check using it. 17 viruses/spy ware/ad ware found. Oh no, hold on, it then updated and found 25! I was able to write down a few of the different names and what they do before that programme froze and crashed the system. There were some which downloaded hardcore porn to your hard-drive, how disappointing, I haven’t seen any! There were also a lot of the “dialler” things which attempt to call high cost numbers through your phone line! Some which slowly wipe your hard drive and a handful of spy ware viruses which record your every move online including keystrokes, this is how they can hack into your bank accounts online. Scary stuff really.
Later I received a message from Paypal saying that some one had been trying to hack into my account and they gave me the IP address and user name of the person who happened to be from Cambridge University. Very bizarre. I ended up phoning Paypal direct to find out if there really had been any suspicious activity on my account. I don’t usually worry about those emails as I know that they are mostly scams, however with the threat of having Spy ware on my laptop watching my every keystroke, I was getting paranoid. They said that nobody had tried to login to my account for weeks and certainly was not suspended. Hmm, scam email then.
As the day went on, it all got worse. I attempted to open the folder in which I keep all of my articles and another copy of my blog (I type it before posting online), however it began to open and then froze. I couldn’t do anything except for powering off and restarting the laptop. I tried again with the same folder only to receive the same crashed status. When I restarted for the third time, I tried opening another folder, crashed. Then I tried to get into the control panel but again CRASHED!
I was getting really edgy by this point as my anti virus still hadn’t alerted me to the virus’ on my system. Mum suggested a trip to PC World, however all I could think about was my mounting costs before I had even begun my life in my new house! So I tried calling their helpline first, I figured that would be cheaper than going down there and having someone look at it and this was I could also find out hwo much it would cost me!
The robot answered the phone “Welcome to PC World help desk please listen carefully to the following options and select using your keypad… Press 1 if you have already purchased a computer from us… Press 2 if you intend on making a purchase” I hit number 1, I hadn’t bought it from them, but it would do! “If you have a PC query press 1, press 2 for internet queries, press 3 for laptops…” 3! Wow, so far so good, I knew I would get through to a person eventually that I could divulge all my laptop woes to so I remained positive and stuck with the robot… “Thank you, press 1 for wireless queries, press 2 for general technical support…” 2, “Press 1 for HP, Press 2 for Dell, Press 3 for Compaq…. Press 7 for Sony Vaio” “Hoorah! Finally I hit the 7, “If you have a query regarding your Sony Vaio laptop please call Sony’s support desk on….” I felt like screaming and threw the phone down in a rage. I glimpsed up at mum and simply said “lets go then.” I was fuming!
We got into the store just before their closing time and joined the long queue for “The Tech Guys”. I had some lanky, geeky guy serve me and he looked at my laptop. He switched it on and tried to open a folder as I suggested. I panicked when I saw that he was trying to open my blogging folder, Christ, knowing my luck it would open and before you know it my somewhat sexually explicit writing would be in full view of everyone, including my MOTHER! Eek! Thankfully, the virus got to work and froze the laptop. He ran a virus check on it whilst it was in safe mode. He explained that it would help to wipe the main virus off but wouldn’t actually show as having a virus due to being in safe mode. Right-o mate, that would be why it has just flagged up 2 viruses then?!
I wanted them to do a complete system restore for me, as I am not exactly technologically minded and would more than likely cock it up and lose everything including the book which I have nearly finished writing! However if I was to give it to them, I would be without my pride and joy for 4 days! Four days people! Do you know what that would do to someone who has nothing to do, other than computer work all day?! I do and believe me, it would not be pretty!
He told me how to restore it and save my work safely (ie without the virus attaching itself to my disks) which I got onto back at home. Shame his idea of saving to disk whilst being in safe mode didn’t work. It turns out that you can use the CD drive, however any additional functions, such as CD writers, will not work! So I decided to take the plunge and risk infecting it all over again by saving whilst out of safe mode.
Once all of my work and photos (that I could think of) had been saved, I hit F10, the factory reset switch. I held my breath as it all clunked and whirred back into life. I was doing the dreaded laptop CPR. I felt as if my baby was dying, and I certainly wasn’t going to let it go without a damn good fight!
I left it re-installing Windows for the afternoon whilst I went over to my new house to meet up with my shiny new housemate!
I explained to her what was happening with my laptop and told her that it would be fine and clean again before I brought it over to the house to join her network and risk infecting her computer too. I just hoped and prayed that I was telling the truth. She took the news well and wished me luck with restoring the system. We seemed to hit it off and seemed more like old friends than two people meeting properly for the first time. All in all it was a rather pleasant afternoon sat in the local coffee house.
On arriving back at my mum’s house, I checked my laptop to see that Window’s had restored it self with no major issues and that it was back to how it was when I first bought it. So I happily started to download all of the necessary bits and bobs that I used to have on there. It took me all of Sunday to save all my favorite web pages again! And that was after missing half of them off!