The Big Break (Up)

After a measly 3 and half months of married life, I had enough of being disrespected and made to feel stupid and small...

Sunday 2nd September
I had been staying at mum’s for the weekend sot hat I could have a break from my husband, Dale, and have a girly weekend with my mum.
When I was in hospital (about a month ago), I started to tell mum about what had been happening in our relationship and that I wasn’t very happy and it only seemed to be me who was willing to work at our marriage as Dale did not want to change his ways. We spent most of the weekend talking about my marriage and my options, either stay with Dale, continue to nag about his drugs use and lack of care for me in the hope that he would change, but most likely I would remain being deeply unhappy for the rest of the marriage (till death us do part etc) and waste my life for him or leave.
I had decided on the latter option. I had it all planned out for the following weekend when Dale would be away on his training course (he was training to become a minister - Yes, I know!), our friend Lou would collect some boxes from the tip during the week and store them at his house, Dad would hire a van and keep it at his house Friday night. I would text mum Friday when Dale had left and she would come and spend the night in Taunton with me to help me pack and keep me company. The following day, Dad would come over with the van, we’d load up and head off to Yeovil without a single glimpse back, I would leave Dale and his son Jonathon a letter each apologising for it having to result in this and explaining my full reasons for leaving. Funny how fast a plan can change...
I text Dale whilst mum was driving me back to Taunton at about half eight in the evening. He had been camping in North Devon with Jonathon and knew that I was due back sometime on Sunday. When we pulled up at the flat both mum and I noticed that his car wasn’t there. It was just as we got out of the car that I received a message from him saying “Ok we will be back tomorrow love you hope you had a nice time with your nun”.
I could tell from the way he had written the message that he was stoned. This message came from the man that was supposed to be my full time carer, “In sickness and in health” and all that jazz. I had major surgery on my leg a month ago and whilst on crutches, I can’t really do a lot! I need some one there to cook for me and to move things around the flat as I can’t carry anything.
I felt crushed and the expression on mum’s face said it all. She simply asked “Do you want to come back with me now?” I was so unsure of what I wanted, it was all so sudden and final. It seemed a bit too real. Mum phoned Dad for his advice and he said I should get out now. He couldn’t come to help with moving though as he had been drinking. I called Lou as he knew everything that had been going on and my plans for next weekend. He has a large estate car and trailer so I figured he would be ideal to help me move. There was no answer on either his mobile nor his house phone. I then phoned Sasha (one of my best friends) and she was more than happy to help with her tiny hatchback car. Next thing I know, mum is throwing all of my clothes into bin bags and I am trying to put stuff into piles separate from his belongings. Then Lou calls me, he had just finished a 12 hour shift at the tip but was more than happy to help, and not only that, he could store some of my possessions. I was so relieved as anything I left behind I would have to sacrifice.
An hour and a half later everything is packed into all three cars, I lock the door one final time and we all stand outside hugging before going our separate ways (and my prized possessions going to three separate houses!). Without Lou, it would have been impossible.
On the way back to Yeovil, I phoned Richard Hamilton (our minister who married us 3 and a half months ago) and told him everything, about the drugs, the drink, general behaviour and the way he treated both myself and Jonathon. Much to my amazement he simply said “You’re doing the right thing”. Unfortunately he was flying out of the country on a mission the following day and wouldn’t be returning to England until the end of the month. He said to me that he would write Dale a letter and hand the situation over to Barry and Phillis Lucky. They are a couple who live nearby and are church deacons, I new that I could trust them as I used to live with them and they were amazing friends.