Woke up at Jennie’s early this morning as Lou was getting ready for work. I could smell him as he sprayed what sounded like half a can of Lynx over himself. Normally I would love the smell of Lynx, and yes, it really does have the Lynx effect on me, however this morning it was far too overpowering and sickly! Christ I hope I’m not pregnant, I don’t need that mess at the moment. I know, I am really stupid for having unprotected sex with a married man, especially one I am sure must sleep around. Bollocks. I know I’m desperate to have a baby, but I don’t want it in this circumstance, that would be completely wrong.
I felt queasy all morning, not sure if it was because of being in a different house, the guilt of mine and Lou’s secret, the smoke from last night, or worst case scenario… Pregnancy. I think I may do a test to be sure! Fingers crossed it was due to smoke inhalation. Must be it!
I kept my eyes shut whilst Lou was getting ready for work, I knew exactly what would happen if he knew that I was awake… He would suggest that we go onto the landing and fuck. And knowing me be so weak minded, would sneak out and join him but then feel even more sick and racked with guilt.
I asked Jen to take me back home at lunch time, which thankfully she did no questions asked. When we pulled up outside of my mum’s house, I decided I ought to be polite and ask her in for a cup of tea. I never thought she would say yes because she had the kids and her youngest was fast asleep! I grudgingly opened the front door to reveal “Eau de la kitty“ otherwise known as the litter tray (toilet door had been left wide open), a trashed living room (me and mum tend to live upstairs and ignore the lounge as we never have guests), and a mountain of washing up in the kitchen (I do the cleaning in the kitchen), oh yeah and something had gone off in the fridge, so that was another delightful scent wafting throughout the house. Nice.
I made us all a drink and Jennie started her usual nosiness and happily wondered through into the back room of the house. This room is an extension and used to be used as my mum’s art studio, however since I have moved back, it has been taken over as storage of all my worldly possessions leaving only a small pathway to the backdoor. Obviously Jen followed the path and started peering out of the back door looking rather shocked at the state of the garden (pretty much matches the back room!) and started to question me about what work Lou had done in the garden for us.
Back in October/November time I think it was, he would come over here on his day off and “fix things” for me, usually starting with myself in my room. Thankfully you could make out what work he had done in the garden, he reinforced the garage door so it now resembles fort Knox, put the garden gate back on it’s hinges and fixed the front sliding door. So glad that she didn’t realise that it should have only taken him a few hours to do thee little chores rather than spread across 3 or 4 days! Oops!
When she left, I blitzed in the kitchen and got that looking far more presentable than before, only the floor to do now, then went up stairs and collapsed onto my bed. I felt exhausted… I’m not pregnant, but am coming down with something. Fantastic when I have an operation planned in a week and a half!
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