Decisions...

Things have taken rather a dramatic turn...
Drew (an ex) sent me a message on my birthday and sparked a few memories (nice ones). When he left me, 2 years ago, there was no explanation and he vanished off the face of the earth! I was so close to saying those 3 words to him before he left and had to force myself not to say it.
Several messages went back and forwards aand continue to do so now. Unfortunately... I love Tony, we are planning on moving in with eachother in April time, however I have now sparked all these feelings I had kept buried all this time for Drew.
The other night I decided to see Drew and tell him straight... I love Tony and nothing was going to change that and pretty much draw the line there and then. The evening started badly... I sent a text to what I thought was Drew saying "Looks like he is working, are you ready?" Just as I hit send I realised it was going to Tony. Bugger. I managed to talk my way out of it but felt terrible for lying to him. When I arrived at Drew's house, all I could say was "I am such a horrible nasty person!" I just sat there feling guilty for the rest of the night and for some reason, I have agreed to go to the local beach with him tonight. I honestly don't know what I want now, things with Tony are getting tense and I am just wondering if that is because of me.
Only time will tell and noone knows what the future will hold. One thing I do know, I will not cheat.